6. 456655 - The One With the Butt (第1季)【完整台词】

I' m sorry.

So you' re widowed? Hopefully? No, l' m still married.

So, how would your husband feel about you sitting here with me sliding your foot so far up my leg you can count the change in my pocket? Don't worry.

He'd be okay with you because he's okay with Ethan.

Ethan? There's an Ethan? Ethan is my boyfriend.

What? What kind of relationship do you imagine us having if you have a husband and a boyfriend? I suppose, mainly sexual.

Sorry it didn't work out.

What, not work out? I'm seeing her again on Thursday.

Didn't you listen to the story? Didn't you listen? It's twisted! How could you get involved with her? I had trouble with it at first.

But I get the good stuff.

All the fun, all the talking, all the sex and none of the responsibility.

-This is every guy's fantasy! -That's not true! -Ross, is this your fantasy? -No, of course not.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

You'd go out with someone going out with someone else? -I couldn't.

-Good for you.

When l' m with a woman, I need to know I' m going out with more people than her.

Once, I went out with a guy who just got divorced.

It was hard.

His kids liked me better than him.

What does this have to do with Chandler? Nothing.

I didn't have anything on that topic.

So I went another way.

You know, monogamy can be a tricky concept.

I mean, anthropologically speaking Fine.

Now you'll never know.

We' re kidding.

T ell us.

-We wanna know.

-Come on! All right.

There's a theory put forth by Richard Leakey Are we greeting each other this way now? I like it.

Look! I cleaned! I did the windows.

I did the floors.

I used all the vacuum attachments but the round one.

What's it for? Nobody knows.

And we're not supposed to ask.

What do you think? -It's very clean.

-Really, it looks great! I see you moved the green ottoman.

How did that happen? I don't know.

It looked better there.

And it's an extra seat around the table.

Yeah, it's interesting.

But you know what? Just for fun Iet's see what it looked like in the old spot.

Just to compare.

Let's see.

Well, it looks good there too.

Let's leave it there for a while.

I can't believe you moved the green ottoman.

Be glad you didn't fan the magazines.

She'll scratch your eyes out.

-You guys, I am not that bad! -Yeah, you are.

Remember, I lived with you? You were a little.

That is so unfair! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy.

Okay, so I'm responsible.

I'm organized.

But hey, I can be a kook! All right, you madcap gal! Imagine this.

The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.

-Why not? -Because you're a kook! You wait until they send a notice.

I could do that.

Okay, then you let me go grocery shopping -No problem.

-I'm not done yet.

And I buy detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.

Why would someone do that? One might wonder.

But I would be fine with that.

A glass is on the table with no coaster.

A cold drink.

A hot day.

Beads of condensation are inching closer to the wood.

Stop it! Oh, my God! It's true.

Who am l? Monica, you' re Mom.

Oh, my God! Okay, I'll be there.

That was my agent.

My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al Pacino movie! -That's great! -What's the part? Can you believe it? Pacino! This guy's why I became an actor! " Out of order? You' re out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order! " Seriously, what's the part? "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! " Come on.

Seriously, Joey, what's the part? You' re.

What? I' m his butt double, okay? I play Al Pacino's butt.

All right? He goes into the shower, and then I' m his butt.

Oh, my God! Come on, you guys.

It's a real Pacino movie and that's big! It's terrific.

You deserve this.

After years of struggling you've cracked your way into show business.

Fine.

Make jokes, I don't care.

-This is a big break for me! -You' re right.

It is.

So, will you invite us to the big opening? -I need some moisturizer.

-For what? T oday's the big day! You got any tweezers? I think I have a rogue hair.

God.

Go in the bathroom.

Use whatever you want.

Don't ever tell me what you did in there.

Thank you.

-Joey's mom's on the phone.

-ln the bathroom.

-You don't wanna go in there! -Come on, we' re roommates.

My eyes! My eyes! I warned you.

Who is being loud? Oh, that would be Monica.

Can I borrow stuff? I wanna make Aurora breakfast.

You got the whole night? Well, I only have 20 minutes until Ethan, so.

Do I sense resentment? No.

No resentment.