Oh, look look look! There's Joey's picture! This is so exciting! You can always spot someone who's never seen his one of his plays before.
Notice, no fear.
No sense of impending doom.
"The role of man number three will not be played by Vic Shapiro.
" We came on the wrong night.
I can't believe I forgot to bring a magazine.
-Come on you guys, this might be good.
-I don't know.
The exclamation point scares me.
It's not just Freud, it's Freud! Magic is about to happen! Well, Eva we've done some excellent work here.
And I would have to say your problem is quite clear.
All you want is a dinkle What you envy's a schwang A thing through which you can tinkle To play with or simply let hang The One With the Butt I feel violated.
Did anybody else feel like peeling their skin off to have something else to do? Ross, 1 0:00.
Is it? It feels like 2.
-No, 1 0:00! -What? There's a beautiful woman at 8, 9, 1 0:00! Hello! She's amazing! She makes the women l dream about look like fat, bald men.
Go over.
She's not with anyone.
And what would my opening line be? Excuse me.
Come on, she's a person.
You can do it.
Could she be more out of my league? Back me up.
He couldn't get a woman like that in a million years.
You always see these beautiful women with "nothing" guys.
You could be one of those guys.
-You could do that.
-You think? Absolutely! I can't believe I'm considering this.
-l' m very aware of my tongue.
-Come on.
Here goes.
Stand back, everyone.
Incoming ego shrapnel.
All right, I can do this.
-Yes? -Hi.
Okay, next word would be Chandler.
Chandler is my name and.
Hi! Yes, you said that.
Yes! Yes, I did.
But what I didn't say.
What I wanted to say was would you like to go out with me? Thank you.
Good night.
Chandler? -I didn't know you could dance! -You were in a play! What'd you think? -I didn't know you could dance! -You were in a play! It wasn't that bad.
I was the lead.
It was better than the troll thing.
At least you got to see my head.
-You're right.
-We saw your head.
How about that accent? Yeah.
All of your W's were V's.
She said yes! Awful play, man! Her name's Aurora.
She's ltalian and she pronounces my name " Chandler.
" I like that better.
The usher gave me this.
-What is it? -The Estelle Leonard T alent Agency.
An agency left its card.
They wanna sign me! Based on this play? Based on this play! Look! There's a note on the back.
"Loved your work.
Call me a sap.
" She was obviously very moved! You should call her fairly quickly.
Yeah! As soon as possible! Come in! Hi.
I'm here to see Estelle Leonard.
Just a moment, let me see if she's in.
Hello.
-You' re Estelle? -I know you weren't expecting someone so fantastically beautiful.
Love lump.
T ake a load off already, darling.
Sit already.
I can't tell you how excited I am to be here.
Why not? -What I meant was -You don't mind if I eat, do you? Joey sweetheart, let me ask you a question.
Did you ever see the movie Sleepless in Seattle? -Wow! Do you represent those actors? -No.
But you know the end, where they' re happy? That's gonna be you and me.
You mean you wanna sign me? No, I wanna go to the top of the Empire State Building and make out.
Of course I wanna sign you! -Miss Leonard, I'm so -Oh, boy.
-Ride them, cowboy.
-l' m sorry! I don't see it! -T ry to look through it.
-Unfocus your eyes.
Focus? There's nothing to focus on.
-It's the Statue of Liberty! -Right! -Where's the Statue of Liberty? -There.
I can't not see it now.
Hey, kids! Come here.
Do you see anything here? -lt looks like a boat.
-A boat.
Right in front of the Statue of Liberty.
It's been seven seconds, and you haven't asked me how my date went.
How was your date, Chandler? It was unbelievable! I've never met anyone like her.
She's had an amazing life! She was in the Israeli army.
None of the bullets hit the engine, so we made it to the border.
But just barely, and l.
I've been talking about myself all night long.
I'm sorry.
What about you? T ell me a story.
All right, once I got on the subway.
And it was at night and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn.
Just for the hell of it.
We talked until 2:00.
It was perfect.
More or less.
Suddenly, we realized we were in Yemen.
I' m sorry, so "we" is? "We" is me and Rick.
Who's Rick? Who's Rick? My husband.
-Oh, so you' re divorced? -No.
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