21. 456671 - The One With the Fake Monica (第1季)【完整台词】

Spare shoes are over there.

What does she mean? I think she means "You dance a dance class.

" -Come on, come on, come on.

-Really? Do you see anybody you think could be me? Last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class.

-Let's not have that happen again.

-She could be you.

Let's get started.

Five, six.

Five, six, seven, eight.

-Okay, I'm not getting this.

-I'm totally getting it.

Do you ever feel like you're so uncoordinated? What? You click when they click.

All right, everyone grab a partner.

All right.

And my dead mother said you are it.

I'm with Rachel.

Great, it's gym class all over again.

You can come up to the front and dance with me.

Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare? It's okay, it's okay.

I'm here, I'm here.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

Okay, here I am.

So who's the new tense girl? -She's your partner.

-Hi, I'm Monica.

Oh, Monica.

Hi, I'm Mon -Nana.

-Monana.

-It's Dutch.

-You're kidding.

I spent three years in Amsterdam.

Pennsylvania Dutch.

And we're dancing.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Hi.

-Hey.

Where have you been? -I just got back from the vet.

She's not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone? She says Marcel's humping is not a phase.

Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity.

Hey, he beat you.

She says, as time goes on, he's gonna start getting violent.

So, what does this mean? I have to give him up.

I can't believe it.

This sucks.

You just got him.

How could he be an adult already? I know.

One day he's this little thing and then he's this little thing I can't get off my leg.

Isn't there any way to keep him? No.

The vet said unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some monkey loving he's just gonna get vicious.

I just gotta get him into a zoo.

-How do you get a monkey into a zoo? -I know.

No, that's popes into a Vokswagen.

We're applying to a lot.

Our first choice would be a big state zoo.

You know, like San Diego.

Right? But that may just be a pipe dream.

He's out-of-state.

My vet knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.

But that's two blocks from the beach.

It's a total party zoo.

We found the girl.

-Did you call the cops? -We took her to lunch.

Oh, your own brand of vigilante justice.

Are you insane? This woman stole from you.

She stole.

She's a stealer.

After you're with this woman for 10 minutes, you forget that.

I mean, she's this astounding person with this amazing spirit.

Which she probably stole from some cheerleader.

-Take off their hats.

-Popes in a Vokswagen.

I love that joke.

-No way.

No way did you do this.

-Monana was very brave.

We told them we were the Gundersons in room 61 5 only to find out the Boston Celtics had the entire floor.

When they saw that we're short and have breasts.

They threw us out.

I was thrown out of a hotel.

Me.

Go, Monana.

You ladies are not the only ones living the dream.

I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know.

Don't wait up.

Oh, by the way tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.

-Excuse me? -There's an open call for Cats.

I'm thinking we sing "Memories" and make complete fools of ourselves.

What do you say? No, no, no.

Remember who you're dealing with here.

I can't even stand in front of a tap class.

That's because of your Amish background.

-What? -You're Pennsylvania Dutch, right? Right.

Till I bought a blow dryer.

Then I was shunned.

I was just like you.

And then, one day, I saw a movie that changed my life.

Did you ever see Dead Poets Society? I thought that movie was so incredibly boring.

That thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? It's like, "Kid, wait a year.

Leave home, do some community theater.

" I thought, "That's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.

" That scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.