16. 456665 - The One With Two Parts (1) (第1季)【完整台词】

Hi, come on in.

Hey, Michael, Jeffrey.

Here, we brought wine.

Look at this.

It's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine.

- How could we resist? - Oh, that's great, look at that! - So, Monica, how's the ankle? - It's Why don't you tell them? After all, it is your ankle.

You know, what? It's feeling a lot better.

Thank you.

listen, why don't you guys sit down, and we'll get you some glasses.

Stat! Okay, listen, I'm thinking why don't we just tell them who we really are? - I mean it'll be fine.

I really think it will be fine.

- It will not be fine.

We'll get in trouble.

Mnica, would you stop being such a wuss! A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world.

- So? - So they still seem normal.

That's because they are.

Okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out with women we meet at the hospital it turns into Would you relax? Take a look around.

There are no pagan altars.

No piles of bones in the corners.

They're fine.

Go like this: I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a big baby! - I am not a baby.

- Be serious.

- You get uptight - You act like a princess.

You know what? You know what? Every day you are becoming more and more like your mother.

Excuse me.

Here we go.

This is a great place.

How long have you lived here? Thanks.

I've been here about six years.

And Rachel moved in a few months ago.

See, I was supposed to get married but I left the guy at the altar.

Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but hey, that's me! Why don't you try the hummus? So, Monica, what do you do? I am a chef at a restaurant uptown.

Good for you.

Yeah, it is.

Mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.

Well, this hummus is great.

God bless the chickpea.

Oh, God! I am so spoiled! That's it.

I shoplift.

That was years ago and you had no idea that lipstick was in your pocket.

Did I tell you that I think I'm so much cuter than I am? And have I mentioned that back in high school I was a cow? I used to wet my bed.

I use my breasts to get other people's attention.

We both do that! Monica and Rachel's apartment.

Just one second.

Rachel, it's your dad.

Hi, Dad.

No, no.

It's me.

Listen, Dad, I can't talk right now.

But there's something There's something I've been meaning to tell you.

Excuse me.

Remember back in freshman year? Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.

Daddy Daddy, daddy why? Why would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! You are dead! Hey, Rachel, are these your condoms? Oh, no.

No, that was just Monica.

She's drunk again.

Ah, Pheebs, I don't think scrunchy is a word.

Why not? If crunchy is a word, why isn't scrunchy? Well, okay, then I'm using that same argument for fligament.

Ross, he's got the remote again.

Good.

Maybe he can switch it back.

Maybe not.

Okay, daddy, that's the other line.

Okay, no.

Not even in my bedroom.

Okay, okay.

Bye-bye.

Hello? Hold on a second and let me just check and see if she's here.

It's the woman from the hospital.

There's a problem with the form.

Oh, God, what do we do? Just find out what they want.

Okay.

No, you do it.

Hello.

This is Monica.

Yes, we'll be right down.

Thank you.

We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.

- You're right, this wasn't worth it.

- Thank you.

Okay, let me just change.

gudje? - Nautical term.

- Cheating man.

- Okay.

- Hey.

- Hey Hi.

- She still didn't call? - No.

Trouble? Your sister stood me up the other night.

Oh, no.

Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you? What is that? Tushy! - Well, did you try calling her? - I've been trying for two days.

When I called the restaurant, they said she was busy.

I can't believe she's blowing me off! Excuse me, we had the two chef salads.

No, we havn't had hem yet.

We're still hoping to have them.

Okay.

- Hey.

- Oh.

You got a minute? Yeah, I'm just working.

I got you a birthday present.

Wow, you remembered! It's a Judy Jetson thermos.

Right, ike the kind you Right.