16. 456665 - The One With Two Parts (1) (第1季)【完整台词】

Where's Carol? Stuck at school.

Some parent-teacher thing.

You can go.

I'll get the information.

No, I think I should stay.

We should both know what's going on.

Oh, good.

This will be fun.

We're gonna start with some basic third-stage breathing exercises.

Mommies, get on your back.

And, coaches, you should be supporting Mommy's head.

- What? - What? I'm supposed to be the mommy? Okay, I'm gonna play my sperm card one more time.

I have to miss out on the coaching training because I'm a woman? So what do you propose to do? - I'll flip you for it.

- Flip me for it? Heads, heads, heads! On your back, Mom! All right, Mommies, take a nice, deep, cleansing breath.

Good.

Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower.

Mr.

Dee! How's it going, sir? It's been better.

The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.

It's pretty ugly.

We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s.

What's it mean? We'll be laying off people.

I know I was late last week.

I slept funny and my hair was snarly.

Not you.

Relax.

Ever have to fire anyone? No, but that's not a problem sir, that's why my name's on the door.

By the way, do you know when I'm getting my name on the door? I don't know.

I put it in "the thing".

So who's it gonna be? Nina Nina.

Nina? Ninaaaa.

Are you okay? Yes.

Yes, I am.

Listen, the reason that I called you in here today was Please don't hate me.

What? Would you like to have dinner sometime? So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday? What I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.

Let me put it this way.

Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? Bath salts would be nice! Good.

What is this place? You're cold, I have to pee, and there's coffee.

How bad could it be? I think we have an answer.

What's she doing here? This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home.

- Think she got fired at Riff's? - No, we were there last night.

She kept bringing swordfish.

Are you gonna go? I'll wait until we order.

It's her, right? It looks like her.

Excuse me? Hi, it's us! Right.

And it's me! So you're here too? As much as you are.

Your turn.

We know what we want.

That's good.

- Two caffe lattes.

- And some biscotti cookies.

Good choice.

It's definitely her.

I can't believe you.

You still haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job? You still haven't taken down the Christmas lights.

Congratulations! I think you found the world's thinnest argument.

Trying to find the right moment.

That shouldn't be so hard, now that you're dating.

"Sweetheart, you're fired.

But how about a quickie before I go to work?" Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore.

I'll get it.

Hi, Mr.

Heckles.

You're doing it again.

We're not doing anything.

We're just sitting around talking quietly.

I can hear you through the ceiling.

My cats can't sleep.

You don't even have cats.

I could have cats.

Goodbye, Mr.

Heckles.

We'll try to keep it down.

Phoebe, can you do me a favor? Try this on to make sure it fits.

My first birthday present! Oh, this is really No no no, it's for Ursula.

I just figured, you know, size-wise.

Sure.

Yeah.

Okay, it fits.

Are you seeing her again? Yep, Ice Capades.

This is serious.

I've never known you to pay money for any kind of "capade".

I don't know.

I like her.

She's different.

There's something about her That you like.

We get it.

You like her.

Phoebe, I asked you and you said it was okay.

Well, maybe now it's not okay.

Well, maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay.

Knit, good woman.

Knit! Knit! And that's the Chrysler Building right there.

Mr.

Douglas.

Cool tie.

She's still here.

Yes.

Yes, she is.

Didn't I memo you? After I let her go, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr.