This is unbelievable! It's been half an hour.
If this was a cartoon, you'd look like a ham about now.
There's the waitress.
Excuse me! - Hello, miss? - It's Phoebe! Okay, will that be all? Wait, wait.
What are you doing here? I was over there then you said, "Excuse me, miss.
" So now I'm here.
How come you're working here? Because it's close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Can we start over? Okay, great.
I'm gonna be over here.
The One With the Two Parts - Part I I don't know if he's testing me or just acting out but my monkey is out of control! He keeps erasing the messages on my machine.
Supposedly by accident.
Yeah, I've done that.
And three days in a row, he got to the newspaper before I did and peed all over the crossword! I've never done that.
And then last night, I don't know what he did, but there were capers everywhere.
Allright now look at her and tell me she doesn't look exactly like her sister.
I'm saying I see a difference.
They're twins.
I don't care.
Phoebe's Phoebe.
Ursula's hot.
You know that thing when we talk about things? Let's not do that anymore.
Hey, Pheebs.
Guess who we saw today? Oh, fun! - Liam Neeson.
- No.
Morley Safer.
The woman who cuts my hair! This could be a really long game.
Your sister, Ursula.
Oh, really? She works at that place Riff's.
Yeah, I know.
You do? She said you guys haven't talked in years.
So is she fat? Not from where I was standing.
Where were you standing? Pheebs, so you guys just don't get along? It's mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know? Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one.
She was the first to walk even though I did it later that same day.
To my parents, by then it was, "Yeah, what else is new?" I'm sorry.
I've gotta go.
I've got Lamaze class.
And I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym? Is this just gonna be you and Carol? Susan will be there too.
We've got dads, we've got lesbians.
The whole parenting team.
Isn't that gonna be weird? It might have been at first but now I'm comfortable with the situation.
Ross, that's my jacket.
I know.
We're the Rostens.
I'm J.
C.
And he's Michael.
And we're having a boy and a girl.
Good for you! Alrighty, next? I'm Ross Geller.
And that's my boy in there.
And this is Carol Willick, and this is Susan Bunch.
Susan is Carol's Who's next? Sorry I didn't get it, Susan is? - Susan is Carol's friend.
- Life partner.
Like buddies.
Like lovers.
You know how close women can get.
- Susan and I live together.
- I was married to her.
- Carol, not me.
- It's a little complicated.
- But we're fine.
- Absolutely.
So, twins! That's like two birds.
- To you too, Helen! Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
Okay, send her in.
- Come on in.
- You wanted to see me? I was just going over your data.
You've been postdating your Friday numbers.
Which is bad, because? It throws my WENUS out of whack.
Excuse me? WENUS.
Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics.
Right.
Gotcha, gotcha.
Won't happen again.
I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your WENUS.
It's not just that she's cute, okay? It's just that she's really, really cute.
It doesn't matter.
You don't dip your pen in the company ink.
God, even I know that, and I'm pretty much unemployable.
Ross.
Your little creature's got the remote again.
Marcel, give Rossy the remote.
Marcel! Marcel, you give Rossy the remote right now! You give Rossy the remote - Great.
- Relax.
I'll fix it.
Oh, cool.
Urkel in Spanish is Urkel.
How did he do this? Is leaving the Christmas lights up your plan to keep us merry all year long? Someone was supposed to take them down around New Year's but obviously someone forgot! Someone was supposed to write: "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the refrigera How long has that been there? Where you been? I went to Riff's.
I think Ursula likes me.
All I ordered was coffee.
She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries.
Score.
She is so hot! Okay, before you do anything Joey-like you might want to run it by Pheebs? Would it be okay if I asked out your sister? Why? Why would you want to do that? Why? So that if we went out on a date, she'd be there.
Well, I mean, I'm not my sister's, you know whatever.
And I mean, it's true, we were one egg once.
But, you know, we've grown apart, so I don't know.
Why not? Cool.
Thanks.
You okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
Do you wanna watch "Laverne y Shirley"? Sorry.
Sorry I'm late.
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