15. 456663 - The One With the Stoned Guy (第1季)【完整台词】

Coffee.

-Thank you.

-Cappuccino.

And a nice, hot cider for Monica.

Thank you.

Rach, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? That's why.

Sorry.

The One With The Stoned Guy Chandler? Miss Tedlock, you look lovely today.

That is a very flattering sleeve length on you.

Mr.

Costilick would like you to stop by his office today.

If it's about those prank memos, I wasn't involved.

Nothing at all.

Really.

And frankly, those shenanigans have no place in an office environment.

Hey, you guys! Chandler's coming and he has incredible news.

So when he gets here, let's all act, like, you know Never mind.

But it was gonna be really good.

What's going on? So it's a typical day at work and Big Al tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.

-That is great! -Congratulations! So I quit.

Why? Why? This was a temp job.

Chandler, you've been there for five years.

I know, but if I took it, I'd be admitting that this is what I do.

Does that mean we have to start buying our own toilet paper? That was Joey Tribbiani with the big picture.

Dan? Was it more money? Doesn't matter.

I just don't want to be a guy who sits in his office worrying about the WENUS.

The "WENUS"? Weekly estimated net usage system.

It's a processing term.

Oh, that WENUS.

What will you do? I don't know.

But I won't figure it out working there.

I have something you can do! I have this new massage client, Steve.

Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.

-Hi, there.

-Hi.

I know.

You're a chef and I thought of you first.

But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so.

I just don't have a lot of chef-ing experience.

Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.

What is he looking for? He wants to do something eclectic.

He's looking for someone who can create the entire menu.

So, what do you think? Thanks.

I just don't see myself in a big, white hat.

Oh, Monica! Guess what? a perfect run-up and there he goes, a perfect.

Watch stuff like this and you realize why evolution is just a theory.

Can you see my nipples through this shirt? No, but don't worry.

I'm sure they're still there.

Where are you going? I have an appointment with Dr.

Robert Pilman, career counselor-a-go-go! -I added the "a-go-go.

" -Career counselor? You guys all know what you want to do.

I don't.

You guys in the living room all know what you want to do.

You have goals.

You have dreams.

I don't have a dream! The lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech.

I love my life! I love my life! "Brian's Song"! -The meeting went great? -So great! He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be.

It's not too big or too small.

It's just right.

Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? I'm cooking for him Monday, kind of an audition.

Phoebe, he wants you here.

It's great.

You can make yummy noises.

-What are you gonna make? -Yummy noises.

-And Monica, what are you gonna make? -I don't know.

It's gotta be great.

I know what you can make! I know! You should make that thing with the stuff.

You know that thing with the stuff? Okay, I don't know.

Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.

Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma? -Who are you going out with? -ls this the bug lady? "I love you, Ross.

" Her name is Celia and she's insect curator at the museum.

-What are you gonna do? -Go out to dinner then bring her back to my place and introduce her to my monkey.

And he's not speaking metaphorically.

So back to your place? You thinking maybe.

Well, I don't know.

I'm hoping.

That monkey is a chick magnet.

She'll take one look at his cute, little face and it'll seal the deal.

Celia, don't worry.

He's not gonna hurt you! Soothing tones.

-Here, Marcel.

-I can't stand this.

-He's got his claws on my -Yeah, all right.

Okay, try this salmon mousse.

Good.

Is it better than the other salmon mousse? -It's creamier.

-Yeah? Well, is that better? I don't know.

We're talking about whipped fish.

I'm just happy I'm keeping it down.

God, what happened to you? Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? "You're suited for data processing for a large multinational corporation.

" That's so great! You already know how to do that.

Can you believe it? Don't I seem like I should be doing something cool? I just always pictured myself doing something.

Something! Chandler, I know, I know.

Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt.

Maybe this will cheer you up.

I had a grape about five hours ago, so I better split this with you.

It's supposed to be small.

It's a pre-appetizer.

The French call it an amuse-bouche.

Well, it is amusing.