14. 456667 - The One With the Candy Hearts (第1季)【完整台词】

-Can you believe this happened? -No, no! And yet it did.

-Goodbye, Janice.

-kiss me! Oh, Chandler.

Sorry.

Oh, Chandler.

Sorry! -Hey, Janice.

-Hi, Monica.

Well, this was very special.

Rach, come see who's out here! What's going on? Oh, my God! Janice! Hi! Janice is gonna go away now! I'll be right back.

Joey! Look who it is! Good.

Joey's home.

This is so much fun! This is like a reunion in the hall! Ross, there's someone I want you to say hi to.

He happened to call.

Hi, Ross.

That's right, it's me! How did you know? So, if dogs experience jet lag because of the seven dog years to one human year thing when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses a week and a half.

That's funny! They should be cooking the food soon.

Oh, good.

Who are they? The blond is my ex-wife.

The woman touching her is her close, personal friend.

-They're lovers? -lf you want to put a label on it.

-Anything else I should know? -Nope.

That's it.

Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby.

I always forget that part.

Hello! Now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine.

All I had is oregano and a Fresca.

That's okay! Now we need the semen of a righteous man.

If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.

-Can we start throwing things in? -Yeah, okay! Okay.

Barry's letters.

Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.

Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.

-A picture of Scotty Jared naked! -Let me see! -He's wearing a sweater.

-No.

-Whose MCl card is that? -Mine.

Shoot! Remember this number: Nine, seven, four.

Okay, and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa.

Wait, isn't it almost pure How can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day? I don't know.

You dumped her on New Year's.

In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush.

Hello, funny valentine! Hi, just Janice.

Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker.

I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna.

If you don't do it, I will.

-So are you actually from New York? -Not originally.

I'm from -You said they'd shoot it without you.

-I thought they could.

The maxi-pads were a piece of cake.

Mini-pads should be that much easier.

-It's Valentine's Day.

-I know, but it's my job.

I'll try to get back as soon as I can.

I'm spending most of my time teaching science which is funny because that wasn't even my major.

Now, that is funny! Do you think it would be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? Because she's alone now.

And pregnant.

And sad.

-I guess.

-Are you sure? Carol! -Wanna join us? -No, I'm fine.

Come on.

These people will scooch down.

You guys will scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on! -Come on.

-Thank you.

IKristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick.

Carol, Kristen.

-How do you do? -Carol teaches sixth grade.

And Kristen.

IKristen does something that, funnily enough wasn't even her major! -Thanks for coming over.

-Not at all.

It's pretty much our job.

That's why we get the cool hats.

-What do we got there? -A piece of sik boxer shorts.

Some greeting cards.

A half-charred picture of.

That guy's hairier than the chief! It's a really funny story how this happened.

I was taking out the trash, and Phoebe was burning incense It's all right.

This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire we've seen get out of control.

-Third one tonight.

-Really? Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.

Next time you're burning your ex-boyfriend's stuff: One, do it in a well-ventilated area.

Two, if you wanna burn his clothing, stay away from synthetic fabrics.

Three, try to let go of the anger, and learn to love yourself.

-I brought you something.

-ls it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts.

"Chan and Jan Forever.

" I had them made special.

Okay, Janice.

Hey, Janice.

There's no way to tell you this.

At least, there's no new way.

I just don't think things are gonna work out.

That's fine.

It is? Because I know that this isn't the end.

You see, actually, it is.

No, because you won't let that happen.

Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing! Oh, no, I don't.

Why do we keep ending up together? New Year's, who invited who? -Valentine's, who asked who into bed? -I did, but You seek me out! Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! Janice! Janice! You push me away, you pull me back! You want me.

You need me.

You can't live without me.

And you know it.

You just don't know you know it.