I love it when he plays the piano.
No matter how gloomy it is outside, it makes everything seem a little brighter.
I feel the same way about bacon.
DAPHNE: You're so lucky to be musical.
I'd give my right hand to be able to play the piano the way you do.
Hmm, sounds a bit like O.
Henry meets Stephen King.
But still, if you're serious, I'd be willing to give you lessons.
I'd love that.
I've wanted to play ever since I was little, and my family would sing rugby songs after my brothers' matches.
I can still see them all muddied and bloodied, belting out songs like "The Old She-Crab" and "I Like a Moose.
" Once, one of Michael's teeth fell out right in the middle of "Four Old Whores.
" MARTIN: Hey, Fras, how was your date last night? I'm having breakfast with you.
You do the math.
- Ahem, coffee? FRASIER: Please, thank you, Niles.
Well, here's something that'll cheer you up.
Eight years ago today I moved in with you.
- Eight years? Ha, ha.
MARTIN: Ha, ha.
- Are you sure? - This is quite an anniversary.
You weren't even with Lilith for eight years.
Please, Niles, I hardly think it's the same thing.
It's not that different.
If you were a woman, you'd be his common-law wife by now.
- Oh, well, now I don't think that's DAPHNE: And think about this.
If that date had been the perfect woman, you'd still have to be with her nine years before you overtook him.
Yes, and actually, if you add the 18 years he spent at home prior to college, well, they've been together 26 years.
So we just missed our silver anniversary? - All right.
- Yes, but good news, your 30th is pearl.
Ha, ha.
Well, I think it's a remarkable accomplishment.
Happy anniversary, Dr.
And Mr.
Crane.
NILES: Yes, here, here.
- Ha, ha.
NILES: Oh, here.
I'm so sorry it didn't work out with Lucy last night.
But don't worry.
I have tons of other friends better than her.
Well, thanks for starting at the bottom and working your way up.
- Hey, Roz.
Dr.
Crane.
FRASIER: Oh.
- Hi, Daph.
Hello, Dad.
- Oh, hey, Daphne.
What, are you taking piano lessons? Yeah, Niles is gonna teach me.
I'm so jealous.
I've always wanted to learn to play.
- Well, why don't you sit in with us? - Really? - Well, do you think Niles would mind? - Of course not.
And even if he does, he's so polite you'll never know.
Hi.
I'd like to tell you about our new frozen coffee drink, The Caffalanche.
It comes in three flavours.
Frosty Coffee, So Cocoa-Cold and Chilla-in-Vanilla.
- I'll try the So Cocoa-Cold.
FRASIER: Ha, ha.
Uh, black coffee, thanks.
- I hate what's happened to coffee.
- Dad.
Well, I'm just saying, I'm a regular joe, - I like my joe regular.
- I like my joe regular.
I know.
What's wrong with plain, old coffee, the way God made it? FRASIER: Nothing.
What is wrong, is subjecting me to the same shopworn bellyaching every time you come in here.
Well, excuse me for having an opinion you don't agree with.
I thought this was America.
Oh, look, it is.
I'm gonna get my coffee to go.
That was a bit harsh, Dr.
Crane.
Eight years of the same complaints about the same things in the same places.
And I'll say, sometimes I think he does it just to antagonize me.
Just like an old married couple.
It's cute, isn't it? Well, I got my black coffee.
Of course, it was more expensive than a whole meal used to be.
Time was, you could get two eggs, potatoes, choice of breakfast meat And still get change back from the nickel.
Will you just take your coffee.
See how he talks to me? - And on our anniversary too.
FRASIER: Oh.
NILES: Now, I want you to position your hands over the keyboard.
Fingers relaxed, elbows loose.
Good.
Okay, and shoulders low.
Good, good.
How are we doing? - Fine.
- Okay, I guess.
When do we get to press on the keys? Whoa, whoa.
We have a lot to learn first.
It could be weeks before we press down on the keys.
I want to play a song.
Yeah, isn't that why we're here? Well, all in due time.
Here, wait.
Just watch my hands while I play a scale.
Watch this.
[PLAYING THE SCALE] FRASIER: Pardon me, Niles, there was a programme I planned on watching.
Oh, of course.
Uh, we'll continue the lesson in Daphne's room.
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