What does that mean? Well, let's just say I wouldn't mind having a stepson.
Dad, now you're just provoking me, aren't you? Dad? Dad? Are you? Good morning, Dr.
Crane.
There you are.
What is the meaning of this? Where is his mate? I'm sorry.
I don't know what you're talking about.
My favourite pair of socks reduced to a single argyle.
Nor is this the only example.
The keen observer yesterday would have noticed that I left the apartment wearing two shades of black.
Explanation, please.
I'm sorry, Dr.
Crane.
I'm forced to do the laundry downstairs, and I guess your socks are just too tempting to the neighbours.
Of course, you're welcome to go down there yourself and stand guard.
I see.
And if we had our own washer-dryer, there would be no more lost socks.
I will not be strong-armed by threats against my laundry.
Suit yourself.
I'm off to do a load of your pinks.
- I don't have any pinks.
- You will.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING] ROZ: Are you okay? FRASIER: I'm fine.
You seem like you've been in a lousy mood lately.
It's just that they put soymilk in my latte.
I don't like soymilk.
If it doesn't come from a teat or an udder, it isn't milk.
Oh, terrific.
Here comes Niles on his fabulous showing-up-Frasier contraption.
All he wants is attention, so don't give him any.
[GASPS] Greetings, foot people.
How are things back in the twentieth century? - Wow, that looks like fun.
- Fun? I suppose it is.
I never really thought about it.
You see, the Segway is more of a productivity tool.
- Yeah, do you think I could? - No, go away.
Not the only tool.
Uh Oh, I haven't ordered yet.
It's on the house.
We love the machine.
NILES: That is so nice.
You know, I think I've seen just about enough.
Free food and drink just because you've shown them something new.
I tell you what, let's all paint our bottoms and run to the sandwich shop.
My, my.
Feelings of inadequacy.
Typical reaction from the unwheeled.
I'll make a note of your grumpiness.
If I'm grumpy, it's because of Cam Winston.
Do you realise that Dad and Cam's mother are dating? Yes, I do, and I think it's great.
Honestly, Frasier, you have to loosen up.
Openness to new ideas is the hallmark of our new century.
- Don't you hope he gets hit by a car? - Mm.
Excuse me.
Can I please get another cup of coffee? No soymilk this time.
So that's what's bugging you.
- Your dad has a new girlfriend.
- Hmm? No, I'm just afraid he's gonna get hurt.
No, you're afraid you have to be nice to Cam.
I am nice.
Cam's insufferable.
Okay, fine.
Whatever.
Here's what I'd do.
Be the first one to make peace.
Then you'll be the bigger man to your dad and to his girlfriend, and it'll drive Cam nuts.
[CELL PHONE RINGING] That's good, Roz.
Seize the high ground.
You know, I'll offer Cam an apology and he'll be trumped.
[FRASIER CHUCKLING] Hello.
Cam.
I was just about to call you.
A truce, you say? I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
You're break Up.
I'm afraid my ba Is low on pow Son of a bitch is trying to steal my high ground.
Hello, Crane.
Glad you could make it, I guess.
Spare me your honey-glazed pleasantries, Cam.
I am here to roll up my sleeves and end our feud.
As am I.
That's why I called you.
Just for the record, it was my idea to apologise first.
Well, that seems appropriate, since you're the one who shut off the water and ruined my clothes.
That, sir, is a fraction of the story.
Since you moved into this building, you have encroached upon my parking space, you have undermined my position with the condo board, and you killed a magnificent Virginia creeper.
Which you gleefully encouraged to climb the balcony and choke my dangling ivy.
I thought it was marijuana.
Dangling ivy looks nothing like marijuana.
Well, I'm sure I wouldn't know.
This is getting us nowhere, Crane.
Agreed.
Agreed.
I guess we'll never really see eye to eye, but I am resolved to put aside our differences for the sake of our parents.
For the sake of our parents.
Where are they anyway? Downstairs watching Court TV.
Ah.
It's all about romance with you Cranes, isn't it? Now, you see, there you go again.
I lower my guard, you slap me in the face.
All right, I apologise.
And as a token of my sincerity, I pledge to pay for whatever damage my washer-dryer may have caused.
Well done.
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