ROZ: Thank you for the coffee.
FRASIER: Thank you.
Oh, you don't have to thank me.
We're not keeping score.
Heh, heh.
Life's too short to get worked up over who owes who for this or that or whatnot.
Let's just enjoy ourselves.
Whatever you want, Kenny, the answer is no.
- Just hear me out.
FRASIER: Okay.
Look, I need a favour, but before I tell you what it is, I want you to look at this.
"KACL Psychographics"? We hired a firm to sift through the program data and give us a kind of profile on each show's average listener.
FRASIER: All right, let's see.
Gil's average listener is a woman, mid-30s, well-educated.
Hmm.
What about my average listener? Who is she? Well, actually, uh, she's an older gentleman, who likes to keep the radio on for company.
Ouch.
Oh, and, Roz, it seems a number of listeners think you're a man.
What? I'm sorry the station spent its money on this nonsense, but this research is patently absurd! Regardless, you could really stand to increase your audience in the youth market.
Well, I thought we upped the advertising budget for that reason.
I did, but I need some help.
How would you like to be a guest on Teen Scene? I'm sorry, I've done that show before, I'm not doing it again.
Doc, you could use younger listeners.
You've seen the research.
My show is fine.
That so-called research is nothing but a bunch of confounded correlations and mediocre deductions.
Excuse me.
Are you Dr.
Frasier Crane? - Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
- Can I get your autograph? - Ah, what's your name? - Lucy.
But make it out to Paul.
I volunteer at his hospice, and I think you're just about the only friend he has left anymore.
Fine.
I'll meet the kids.
NILES: I have a little something for you.
[DAPHNE LAUGHS] Earrings.
- They're beautiful.
- Try them on.
I have disinfected them with peroxide.
Niles, it's a lovely thought, but, well, you kind of gave me the exact same pair last summer.
- No, I did not.
- Yeah, take a look.
Ugh, I am so sorry.
Oh, don't be silly.
It was bound to happen sometime, after all the nice presents you give me.
I'll have to get pierced somewhere else.
Still, l [MOUTHS] Really? DAPHNE: Well, well, look who's up.
How was your company party, Mr.
Crane? Fine.
Sounds like it was more than just fine if you're getting up this late.
- Yeah, he came in late too.
- Didn't know there was a curfew.
Oh, my God! Is that lipstick on your chin? It is! I got kissed, okay? Big whoop.
- There's no lipstick on my chin.
DAPHNE: Busted! [NILES LAUGHS] NILES: Well, so, what's her name? - Yeah, when can we meet her? Her name's Peg, and nobody's meeting anyone.
It was a just a little fooling around, that's all.
- Well, are you gonna see her again? - No, and if she calls, I'm not here.
Got it? I don't wanna encourage her.
Well, why not? It sounds like you had fun.
See, this is exactly the conversation I'm trying to avoid with Peg.
You kiss a girl, and suddenly she wants to know: "What does it mean?" "When can I see you again?" "Why don't you call me?" - That's a wonderful attitude.
MARTIN: Hey, it was great.
I loved it, but I don't want to ruin it by making it more than it was.
Women never let you have a bite of ham.
They always make you sit down for spinach.
KIRBY: Whoa! This is embarrassing, huh? All three of us going to the same place when we're skipping out on work.
- We are not skipping out on work.
- Right, we're all at the doctor's.
Kirby, we don't work the same hours that you do.
- We're done for the day.
- Oh, yeah, that's good.
It's better if we don't all use the same excuse.
Kirby, I think it's time for you to straighten up.
You show up late every day, you are inattentive, and you have a bad attitude.
How do you expect to thrive in this job or any other job? I am this close to giving you a lecture! Hey, guys.
Uh, doc, you got a minute? There's someone I want you to meet.
Aw, dude, that's Emily Crowther, one of the nimrods from Teen Scene.
You're not gonna do that show, are you? Those guys go to my old high school.
Bunch of losers.
For your information, Kirb Hey, I thought you were at the doctor.
I was.
Uh, he says everything is fine.
He also said I probably shouldn't come in tomorrow till about 11:30.
How dumb do you think I am? You will show up first thing tomorrow morning, after your Meals on Wheels delivery.
You got it.
Listen, Kenny, I'm actually just on my way out.
Perhaps I could meet this young lady tomorrow? Oh, come on.
Say hi to the kid.
- She's a big fan.
- Really? Well, gosh, I would hate to appear standoffish.
After all, the young lady has built up a certain image of me in her mind, and that shouldn't be crushed, certainly.
Do we have to go through this every time? Go over there.
Emily Crowther, Dr.
Frasier Crane.
- Hello, Emily.
- Pleased to meet you, Dr.
Crane.
I look forward to having you on our show.
Well, technically, I haven't agreed to do it yet.
You see, I had a rather bad experience on Teen Scene the last time.
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