It is.
You know, I think restaurants are like museums.
Great food, like great art, has the ability to both elevate and inspire.
Oh, I so agree.
But one must dine with a certain savoir-faire.
You won't get much out of it if you're just some Philistine walking in off the streets.
Dude, fancy.
Hello, my good man.
Reservation for Gardner.
Of course.
This way, please.
So, um - Would you order some wine for us? - No.
Let's get something straight.
If you get drunk, the evening is over.
And if you fondle, massage or cup any portion of my body, the evening is over, got it? Man, you're like a total prude, huh? Yes, I am.
- Would any one of you like a drink? KIRBY: Yes.
The lady and I will have the Coca-Cola.
Yeah, make sure the lady's has a lot of Jack Daniels in it.
Never order for your date.
It's cheesy.
And the lady will have the filet.
Well, a toast.
To this moment, too long delayed and too quick to pass.
Hey, you guys.
Hi.
Well, what are you doing here? - We're having a date.
- Yes, what are you doing here? I'm looking for Kirby.
It's his prom night.
He left his camera at home.
Kirby is here? Somewhere.
He said you told him about this place.
Right, right, so I did.
There he is.
See you guys later.
Wait.
You know, maybe I should take the camera to the boy.
Seeing you here will only embarrass him.
Oh, please.
He's used to that.
Besides, the one who should be embarrassed is that boy who's with his mother.
Lana is such a great mom.
She really cares about her kids.
She sure does.
LANA: What do you mean, she's with you? Will you excuse me a moment? Mom, would you cool out? How do you expect me to cool out when you're? - What are you, a hooker? - What? - You're a hooker? - No, I'm not.
- She works for me.
- You're her pimp? - Is there a problem? - No, everything's just fine.
- You know this tramp? - Yes, I do.
- Frasier! - I'm sorry! Lana, please, it's all innocent enough.
I only did this in order to motivate the boy.
- By promising him sex? - You promised him sex? - You're getting sex? - I did not promise him sex! LANA: You are coming with me! - I'm not going.
FRASIER: Lana, let me explain.
I set him up with Roz in exchange for his studying.
LANA: That's disgusting! It's no different than you promising me a date with Claire - in exchange for tutoring Kirby.
- Excuse me? Claire - You traded me like a commodity? - Get off your high horse.
- You tutored me to get to her? - Kirby I can't believe you used me, Lana.
Get a little perspective here.
My son's here with a prostitute! If you call me that one more time, lady - Listen, sister, I'll call you whatever - You dangle me like bait? - Who's the prostitute now? - Who are you? - Sit down! KIRBY: You said you cared, but you're just as big a liar as Richard M.
Nixon, our 37th president.
I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave.
Fine with me.
Kirby, let's go.
- I'm not going anywhere.
- Well, I am.
No, no, no, stop it, everybody! Fellow diners, if you will all bear with me for just a moment, please.
Kirby, you are going to pass history and you are going to graduate from high school.
Roz, you are getting your Springsteen ticket.
Lana, if there is anyone with whom your son could expect to have a wholesome, innocent and chaste date, it is Roz Doyle.
Claire, the only reason Lana did what she did was out of love for her son.
And if I compromised my ethics, it was only because I found myself so utterly beguiled by you.
Frasier, you are a strange and charming man.
You have no idea.
Hi, Lana, it's Frasier.
Yeah, listen, I was hoping that I could maybe switch times with Kirby tomorrow.
Say move it up to 4:00 just after school? Great, great, good.
Well, Claire and I have plans, you know.
Yeah, I guess we are hitting it off.
She said what about me? You're joking.
Oh, you are joking.
What did she say about me? Really? Well, I guess it just proves she's a sucker for sophistication, taste, and dare I say it, Old World charm.
MAN: Hey, buddy.
If the cops come back around, can I stash something in your bag? I'll have to call you back.
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