Thanks, Frasier.
- You're being awfully sweet to me.
- Oh.
Don't think this means you're getting any.
We're saying our goodbyes.
You're leaving? I have an early appointment and Neil offered to give me a ride home.
Well, how thoughtful of him.
- Happy birthday, Lana.
- Oh, thank you.
Bye.
It's nice to see you again, Frasier.
Lovely seeing you again, Claire.
Neil.
- Threw a gutter ball, huh? - Yeah.
Thanks to you.
You introduced them.
Well, you played it all wrong.
You were hanging on her all night.
Well, so was he, but he left with her.
It won't last.
She's probably sick of him already.
A lot of good that does me.
I blew it.
Not necessarily.
I mean, I think you guys could make a great couple.
In fact, I might be able to help you out there.
Really? Would you? Well, I could, but you know, I get asked that all the time.
And if I did it for you, I'd have to have to do it for everybody.
And I just don't know if I wanna open those floodgates.
You know what I mean? I think I do.
Kirby needs a passing grade in History.
- I can't guarantee that.
- No passing grade, no Claire.
All right, an hour on Tuesdays.
Two hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Two hours on Tuesdays, no Thursday.
Three on Tuesdays.
- Done.
Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
Well, you are a very lucky young man, Kirby.
You know, I loved studying U.
S.
History.
What can be more fascinating than the rich and unfolding epic of the very soil on which we live? Uh, will that question be on the test? Doubtful.
So which chapter are you on? Whoa, is that my book? I see.
Chapter 1.
You may wanna take some notes.
I don't have a pen.
But just tell me, I'll remember it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's gotten you far.
Get off your ass and get a pen! No, not you, not you, not you.
All right, Kirby, we've got a few minutes before your mother gets here.
One last question.
In our studies this week, what did we learn about William Henry Harrison? Well, I guess I would say that this week, we learned that William Henry Harrison was a great man who was important because he was - President? - No.
Yes, yes.
Good, good.
And which president was he? Of the United States.
I mean which number? All right, here's a hint.
He was elected in 1840.
- Eighteen.
- No.
- Forty? - Kirby.
Did you do any reading this week? - Sort of.
- What does "sort of" mean? - No.
- Right.
Why not? Because it's a bunch of junk I'm never gonna need to know.
Kirby, this junk, as you call it, may seem unimportant to you now, but knowing something about where we came from may help you to decide where you wish to go.
Now, let's start learning about history lest you be condemned to repeat it.
Start reading.
Continue until your mother gets here.
- Hi, Dad.
MARTIN: Hey, Fras.
You know that guy Roger on 14, has that little Scottish terrier? - Macduff? - Right.
Well, Roger's invited all these dogs from the park to Macduff's birthday party.
Except Eddie.
Thank God.
Have you ever heard of anything more ridiculous? I see, and putting a hat on Eddie for every major holiday, that's normal? - What? It's not every holiday.
- Oh, Dad, please.
He's got a Santa cap for Christmas, he's got a top hat for New Year's Eve.
He's got a tam-o'-shanter for Saint Patrick's Day.
Well, they're just hats.
I mean, it's not a whole party.
I mean, a dog doesn't know his birthday any more than he knows Friday or Saturday or Or Cinco de Mayo? That sombrero was a gift.
Keep reading.
That's nice that you're helping the kid out.
Yeah, well, truth be told, Dad.
I'm actually I've made a little agreement with Lana.
You see, if I help Kirby get a passing grade, Lana will set me up with one of her girlfriends, Claire.
Ah.
I remember when you used to tutor kids so they wouldn't beat you up.
So I guess this is progress, huh? [DOORBELL RINGS] That would be your mother.
- Hi, Lana.
- Hi, Frasier.
You guys have a good study session tonight? - Primo.
- We're making excellent progress.
- Really? So, what'd you learn today? - Yeah.
Um Well, today I learned about William Henry Harrison, who was our ninth president.
I mean, tenth.
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