What does that mean? Have fun, Niles.
- Oh, hi.
- Roz, hi.
- Where are you going? - Just to a little party.
- Have a good time.
- Good night.
Hey, everybody, am I too late? You're perfect.
We're all hooked up and ready to go.
Great.
I brought Caddyshack.
- Who's funnier than that gopher? - Roger Rabbit, that's who.
What about my movie, The Longest Day? It's got D-day and the Duke.
Whoa, that is an embarrassment of riches.
Each movie more appealing than the last.
Perhaps there's a happy compromise in The Unbearable Lightness of Being.
That would be a happy compromise, except for one thing.
Boring! [FEEDBACK SQUEALS] - I think we should use the manual.
- I don't need a manual.
I need a pair of wire strippers, a hammer and a beer.
While he's doing that, I just have to pose the question.
Who's funnier than Daniel Day-Lewis? You look lovely tonight.
Thank you.
You look nice too.
Look, I'm gonna be real direct.
We're just two good friends going out for dinner, okay? Of course.
I only say that because you went a little heavy on the cologne and I don't want you to have any expectations.
I have nothing of the sort.
And by the way, it's scented soap.
Good.
I mean, I only accepted because it really sounded like you could use a night out.
But I don't want some awkward scene where you try to get in my pants.
I assure you, there will be no such scene.
Great.
Unless, of course, I have too much to drink and I change my mind.
So how are those kids of yours doing? Oh, my youngest is good.
He's in the 9th grade.
But Kirby, if he doesn't pass U.
S.
History, he's not gonna graduate.
Well, have you considered getting a tutor? That's a good idea.
You used to do that sort of thing in high school, didn't you? Well, yes, yes, I did.
And I would do it for Kirby in a heartbeat.
It's just that I'm asked a lot.
And if I helped him, then I'd have to do it for everyone.
I'd hate to open those floodgates.
- You understand.
- Yeah.
My ex is the one I should be asking, but that would be a waste of time.
He doesn't help out with the kids? No, the only kid he has time for is Kathy, his 22-year-old receptionist.
It's sickening.
- Do you mind if I smoke? - Well, actually, l I'll just crack a window.
You know, I'm glad you asked me out tonight.
Tomorrow's my birthday.
- Really? Well - Yeah.
Happy birthday.
Hardly.
That's the day Bob and Kathy have chosen to get married.
In Tahiti.
Some birthday.
It's all right.
It's good.
Tonight will get my mind off of it.
Just promise me that I won't even hear the word "birthday" for the rest of the night, okay? Are you sure? I mean, maybe a big celebration would be the best revenge.
What am I celebrating, the fact that I'm becoming an old trot and no one's ever gonna love me again? Oh, God.
Shut up.
Aren't we going to Bella Lucia? Well, actually, I know this little Thai place that I think will be better.
Were you even gonna ask me? I hate Thai food.
Typical man.
"I like Thai food so she must like Thai food.
" All right.
Bella Lucia it is.
I'm sorry.
I'm being snappy.
It's just I I guess I just always thought that I'd be the one that got remarried first, you know? Now everybody's just gonna feel sorry for me.
Oh, God, I hope I don't run into anybody I know tonight.
And you're not a typical man.
You're very thoughtful.
You forgive me? Yes, I'm afraid I do.
Oh, gosh.
You know, I do know another little Italian place that I think you might really enjoy just as much.
What do you say? - Great.
Sounds great.
- Okay.
You know, it's funny, as much as I hate the thought of my birthday, I'm kind of hurt that none of my friends asked me to do anything.
I mean, it's not like I wanted a party, but something would've been nice.
Okay, Frasier, you know what, just because I'm vulnerable, doesn't mean you're getting some.
No, listen.
Fifty of your friends are sitting in Bella Lucia right now wearing party hats and waiting to yell "surprise.
" Do you wanna go or not? My friends are throwing me a surprise party? That's right.
And you tell me and ruin it? Surprise! Oh, my God, you didn't! You, you did this.
Frasier, you tricked me.
You awful thing.
It wasn't easy, you nightmarish carp.
Oh, thanks.
Debbie.
Oh, hi.
Bruce, hi.
I am so thrilled you all came here for this.
I thought a lot of you would've flown to Tahiti for the wedding of dumbo and bimbo.
Thanks for getting her here.
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