You expect me to apologise to you? Expect it, sir, and demand it.
Well, then here's my answer.
No! - No? - No! And furthermore, why don't you take your broadside, stuff it in a chair and keep your unlimited supply of opinions, suggestions, proposals and recommendations to yourself.
- Well, I never.
- No, you always.
Get out! How's a corned beef sandwich sound? I am appalled.
Well, no problem.
There's some smoked turkey in here too.
What is my offence? What egregious sin have I committed that I should be so maligned? Was I to just sit idly by and watch these two misguided souls embark on doomed relationships? Would they have thanked me for that? - Not very likely, I dare say.
- Who moved the mustard? - Top shelf, door.
- Bingo.
And then, when they were perched on the very brink of disaster, I snatched them from the gaping maw and placed them gently into one another's arms.
But am I accorded a hero's welcome for my troubles? Am I hoisted on their shoulders and paraded about the room? I don't have my glasses.
What's the expiration date? Last week.
I'll chance it.
No.
Those two ingrates turn on me like vipers and make me the villain of the piece.
Well, hear me now.
From this day forward, Frasier Crane will not interfere with those two.
This is it.
Finished.
Finito.
[SPEAKS IN LATIN] MARTIN: Uh-huh.
- I know I've made declarations like this before, but I tell you what, Dad, you mark the calendar.
You note the time on your watch.
This is it.
Well, if you figure out a way to get them back together, I'll be in my room if you need any help.
Have you been listening to me? MARTIN: Well, I tried not to, but some of it still got through.
Hello, Dr.
Crane.
Daphne.
- Making yourself a sandwich? - No, Dad did.
Hope he didn't use the mayonnaise.
I meant to throw it out.
- I've seen him eat worse.
- I'll say.
Remember when he dropped his hot dog at the petting zoo? Oh, Dr.
Crane, I'm so sorry I said those things about you.
I didn't mean them.
Oh, I know, Daphne.
Come here.
I guess this all finally came crashing down on me.
Yes, I know.
It's perfectly understandable.
Listen, I know you can't go out on your date with Niles tonight, but what's to stop two friends from going out to dinner? My treat.
You can even wear that new dress of yours.
DAPHNE: Thank you.
That's a lovely offer, but I think I'll just stay home tonight.
Have a quiet night.
- I understand.
- Thank you.
- Sure you won't change your mind? - Positive.
Hello.
My furry friend and I have just concluded our daily constitutional, with young Edward here dropping a few amendments along the way.
So, what's on the docket tonight? All I want is a quiet night at home.
Oh, Stilts, you and I are of one mind.
I'll hoist a beer while you get dinner started and then when our bellies are full and you've done the dishes, we will adjourn to the Winnebago where Mr.
Jean-Claude Van Damme, the Muscles from Brussels, will ply his trade against the forces of evil.
- Ready at 8? - Make it 7:30.
NILES: Good idea, Dad.
An evening out, just the two of us.
I had no idea you enjoyed the Natural History Museum.
Oh, sure, and that documentary on the rain forest is supposed to be great.
That's what I hear.
Hope it has Pygmies.
I like Pygmies.
I know you do.
So, uh, where's? She went out with Frasier to a restaurant for dinner.
Ah.
- Did she happen to ask about? - Sorry.
Dad, we're going up.
Oh, God.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Well, we'll just have to take the long way.
Why do you like Pygmies so much? They're short and they blow darts.
What's not to like? Come on.
Come on up here.
NILES: What could possibly be so important for me to see up here? The guy in 1708 got some homing pigeons.
He built a coop up here for them.
Pigeons? I don't like pigeons.
They have no respect for public art.
Trust me.
You're gonna like this.
Dad, I don't think I handled things very well today.
Do you think Daphne will ever forgive me? Why don't you ask her for yourself? Your table is ready, sir.
- You look stunning.
- Thank you.
You look dashing.
FRASIER: I trust this will be to your liking.
Everything's to my liking.
Looks like we're having that first date after all.
You went to so much trouble.
It wasn't me.
It was your brother.
Well, you know me.
I hate to butt in.
NILES: Ohh I'd planned to take Daphne to dinner when suddenly inspiration struck.
Since you two couldn't go to Au Pied de Cochon this evening, my faithful companion and I would bring it to you courtesy of their caterer.
If dancing at the Starlight Room was impossible, we'd give you the real thing.
It's all so overwhelming.
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