" And Hank Aaron held his bat all wrong.
The great ones have always broken the rules.
But first they learned the fundamentals, and that's what I'm trying to teach Frankie.
Frankie? You named my dog? Well, he's gotta have a name to respond to, and you were taking a long time coming up with one.
Well, Alice picked one last night.
Ariel, from The Little Mermaid.
Ariel? That's a girl's name.
I know, but she likes it, so we're going to stick with it.
Well, all right.
Shouldn't screw the dog up too much.
- What? - Nothing, l - I'd better be heading home.
- Wait, I'll walk with you.
I'm gonna take Ariel with me to pick up Alice at preschool.
- Where'd he go? - He's in the bedroom.
ROZ: Ariel? Ariel? Oh, shoot, I'm going to be late.
Ariel.
Frankie.
Not one word.
Feels good to be back in class again, doesn't it? It's fantastic.
You know, I'm almost jealous of whomever gets to sit here during the day and make learning his full-time occupation.
Judging from the carving on your desk, it looks like his name is Ozzy.
Yes, and apparently he rules.
All right, everybody.
My name is Randy.
And if you'll take your seats, we'll get started.
We're already seated, Randy.
Welcome to Basic Car Repair and Maintenance.
This is gonna be a real simple, low-stress class for people who don't know much about cars.
Yeah? What if you don't know anything about cars? I mean, absolutely nothing.
- Well, then - Randy, if I may.
On behalf of the class, I would like to say that I feel that we're all a bit anxious.
But with Randy as our driver, and desire as our gasoline, we will complete this journey together.
To paraphrase a famous little engine, "I think we can.
" Thank you.
Anyway, let's start with the basics.
A car burns gasoline to create small, carefully timed explosions whose energy is converted by the engine into forward motion.
I'll show you how that happens.
[WHISPERING] So the engine is just like the timpani.
It drives the orchestra forward.
[WHISPERING] The conductor drives the orchestra, not the timpani.
Yes, the conductor guides the orchestra.
He's more like the steering wheel.
The actual driving forward, the driving forward, is actually executed by the percussion section.
Sounds like someone needs a class in orchestras rather than automobiles.
- Which links the crankshaft to the camshaft, so that the valves are in sync with the pistons.
SHIRLEY: Oh.
RANDY: Now, as you can imagine, the tolerances of every component in the cylinder - What's a camshaft? - I don't know.
You were talking.
RANDY: The timing's off, even just a little Oh, right, here it is.
"The camshaft is the system that opens and closes the valves.
" - So it's this thing it shows here.
- Right, right, good, got it.
That was close.
We almost got behind.
- Well, let's not let that happen again.
- Agreed.
And if you only take one thing away from this course, that should be it.
Okay, moving on.
RANDY: So if you're finished changing the spark plugs, you're free to leave, and I'll see you next week.
Niles, it's down to us and Shirley.
SHIRLEY: I did it.
I did it.
Whoo! Good job, Shirley.
All right, perseverance, Frasier.
We'll get this.
Right, right.
Oh, would you take off those stupid goggles? - Well, I'm sorry, it's for safety.
- Nobody else wore them.
No one else wore them in gym class either.
But Tommy Fritz scratched his cornea, and then they were mandatory.
Give me that wrench.
Give me that wrench.
I'm telling you, I'm telling you, it's on too tight.
Here, I'll just try to loosen it up.
Whoa! Whoa! Remember, uh, spark plugs come out with a simple twist and pull.
Twist and pull.
Give it a try.
- Oh! - Okay, that's called stripping it.
Wow.
Good job, Frasier.
Here, let me strip one.
No, no.
Stripping it means breaking it.
Uh, watch me.
So you twist and then pull.
You see, I was twisting and pulling simultaneously, as per your instructions, twist and pull.
In the future, the phrase "twist then pull" might help.
Look, fellas, maybe that's enough for one night.
But why don't you come in a little early next week, and I'll try to get you caught up to everyone else? I got a feeling you guys are gonna be my special project.
Did you hear that, Frasier? We have to come in for tutoring.
We've become remedial students.
I know.
It's humiliating.
I thought we signed up for this class to avoid humiliation.
I guess we're just gonna have to roll up our shirtsleeves and see it through for the next eight weeks.
Of course we will.
- Although - I'm listening.
What do we actually accomplish by learning to change our own spark plugs? Oh, yes, of course, we acquire a new skill, but aren't we taking a job away from a qualified mechanic? Someone who may have a family to support.
Not to mention all the merchants who depend on his disposable income - for their livelihood.
- Yes, the human toll begins to mount.
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