And then it began to rain, and I had this feeling that all the angels were crying.
Yes, all right, Roz! Hey, Roz.
Fras, did you see this? Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.
It's my obituary.
They printed it? Yes, they must have picked it up off the wire last night before the news ran that correction.
MARTIN: Jimmy gave it to me at McGinty's.
Boy, everybody was so nice to me, buying me beers and everything, you know, because of the shock I went through, thinking I'd lost my son.
Dad, what are you talking about? You never thought I was dead.
Well, people don't have to know that.
I mean, I could have been at home alone wondering where you were, and I get this strange, uneasy feeling, so I turn on the TV, and there it is on the screen: the face of my dead son.
I was sitting right beside you! Well, what the hell kind of story is that? It's the truth! Well, the truth doesn't put anything on a coaster.
Well, that's something for your scrapbook, huh? Your own obituary.
Yes, well you know, frankly, it's it's a little upsetting.
I don't think they meant to be insulting.
Youare"lovably pompous.
" Well, no, it's not that.
Not that.
It's just, you know, seeing my life in black and white.
It just all looks a little incomplete.
What do you mean? Well, I was going to do so much with my life.
I was going to write a novel and run for public office.
I was going to do my own translation of Freud.
Well, what's stopping you? You're not actually dead.
I guess you're right, Roz.
I'm not dead, am I? You know, maybe that's a good way of looking at this, actually.
More of a-a wake-up call.
Dr.
Crane, I was so relieved to hear that you were all right.
Oh, thank you.
I heard the news and I thought, "What a shame.
Why, he is such a young man.
" That's so nice of you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
God, you know, you're right.
What am I doing frittering away my day here in this coffee house? You know what? I've got things to do.
I've got fresh worlds to conquer.
I'm going to go out there and grab life by the scruff.
Look out, destiny, here I come.
(thunder rumbling) Oh, well, it's really coming down out there.
DAPHNE: What happened to your clothes? Did you spill something on yourself? Oh, no, no.
I'm-I'm going jogging later.
No need to be sarcastic.
Just give me the clothes, and I'll do another load.
No, I'm serious, Daphne.
I plan to go running just after I finish my obituary.
You see, it's a self-actualizing exercise.
You see, you write your obituary the way you'd like it to appear years from now, of course, and then it helps you to focus your goals.
You see, here they are-- all my hopes and dreams.
These are dreams, all right.
(laughs) "Dr.
Crane came late to athletics.
"He became a fixture in the Seattle marathon, "the America's Cup Yacht Race as well as the Kentucky Derby.
" (laughing) A jockey at your size? You better start writing an obituary for the horse.
Very amusing, Daphne.
I meant as a stable owner.
Hey, Fras, what'd you do, spill something on your clothes? No, no, I'm going jogging later.
Well, there's no need to get sarcastic about it.
I'm serious, Dad.
I mean, I have to start somewhere if I plan to run a marathon.
Oh! We got a new basket? Hickory Farms.
Yeah, that one came this afternoon.
Dad, we agreed we were going to send back all the condolence baskets intact.
Yeah, I know, I know but, you know, if a can of pecans falls out here and there, who's going to notice? Oh, by the way, guess who I ran into? That friend of yours from next door, Regan.
Really? MARTIN: Yeah.
You know, she was pretty relieved to hear you weren't dead.
I don't know, maybe there's still something going on there.
Oh, I don't know, Dad.
I'd like to believe that, but I'm just too much of a realist.
(doorbell rings) Tell that to the two million people a year who visit Frasierland.
(laughs) FRASIER: It's a Web site.
It teaches children about psychiatry.
Hey, Dad, I can't stay.
I just realized I think I left my cell phone here last night.
Oh, yeah, I did see it somewhere.
Let's have a look.
Hey, why are you wearing running clothes? He won't tell us.
DAPHNE: Oh, here it is.
It was buried back here underneath all these baskets.
Oh, Daph, look what you did! Rooting around in there, you poked a hole right through this Hickory Farms basket! We can't send it back now.
Thank you, Daphne.
FRASIER: Niles? Yeah.
Is that a bandage sticking out of your shirt? Oh, where? Well, right there.
Oh, yes.
I-I cut myself shaving.
What, on the back of your neck? You went to see Karnofsky again, didn't you? Yes, I did.
I I was going to ask her out again, but I-I got all flustered when I I caught her staring at this grotesque carbuncle.
Carbuncle? You mean that minuscule mole of yours? Well, to you.
I-I've always been self-conscious about it.
I've made many a hasty wine selection because I felt the sommelier staring down Oh, Niles, please.
Why don't you just knock this off? Isn't it time you just asked the woman out? Frasier, I-I'm-I'm just waiting until the moment's right.
Like you did with Daphne? Oh, Niles, I am sorry.
It's just that I'd like to see you do this while I can still pick you out of a crowd.
You know, I've got tickets for the opera tonight.
Why don't you ask her to join you? Oh, I don't know.
FRASIER: Oh, come on.
Take a cue from me.
I am completely reinventing myself.
You know what-- if I can learn a new language and-and climb mountains and write a best-seller, well, then surely you can ask this woman out.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a marathon to train for.
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