ROZ: Hey, Martin.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh, thanks, Roz.
So, you're with us tonight, huh? Yeah.
We rented a couple of sad chick movies.
Oh, it's not likeyou not to have a date on Valentine's Day.
Tell me.
I usually try for a second seating.
(chuckles) And you'd think that being engaged, I'd have a guaranteed date, but no Donny had to go to Florida.
His grandmother.
She'd do anything to come between us.
Oh, what'd she do this time? She died.
Good Lord, where is Niles? I don't want to be late for the opera.
Are you going out with Niles on Valentine's Day? Well, it's a subscription series, you see.
We got these tickets months ago.
We had no idea what day this fell on.
So Dr.
Crane's not spending tonight with Mel? FRASIER: No.
She's going out of town.
Some sort of medical conference.
(doorbell rings) You know, actually, I'm sorry for Niles, but, uh, I'm rather glad to be having an old-fashioned boys' night out.
I can't wait, either.
I-I'll see you in 20 minutes, valentine.
(kissing sound) That had better be the seat duster in our opera box.
Oh No, it was Mel.
At the last minute, she decided to skip her conference.
So I'll be going to the opera by myself.
Oh! Well, here's a thought: If you give Mel your opera ticket, then you won't have to be alone.
You can stay here and-and watch fun movies with Roz and Daphne.
Ooh.
Dying Young.
It's a classic.
FRASIER: I am surprised by your gall.
At the last moment, you-you not only bail on me, you expect me to give up my own ticket?! Please, Frasier, put yourself in my shoes.
Ihaveto do something for Mel.
Every restaurant in town's been booked for weeks.
I ran into Archie Wilfong today.
He told me he had to settle for two seats at the counter at The Salad Experience.
What would you suggest I do? Bring your own wine and order the spicy Caesar.
May your opera box be full of cellophane crinklers and the stage swarming with standbys.
Get out! He goes too far.
Yeah, some nerve-- ditching you to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend.
Look, Fras, I don't blame you for being a little jealous 'cause he's got someone, and you don't I am not jealous, Dad.
I am simply appalled by his rudeness.
I was looking forward to this evening.
Nice drink lovely opera then a late supper perhaps a beautiful bottle of wine, and a delightful dessert soufflï¿© Oh, God, I need a woman.
Remember my friend Rowena? She's much prettier since her surgery.
You look at her face, and you can't even tell where it used to be.
Thank you, Daphne, but, uh actually, I already have someone in mind, you see.
There's a stunning woman who comes to the opera on the same nights we do.
She has the box right across from ours.
We've flirted a bit from a distance.
I have laughed with her duringFigaro, and I've cried with her duringTosca.
I even had a dream about her during "Einstein on the Beach.
" Well, don't just stare at her, make a move.
FRASIER: I will, Roz! Tonight's the night.
By the finale, I'll have made my overture.
Dad, would you please come with me? To the opera? Please? What do you need me for? Dad, look, I-I can't go with a woman because then she'll think I'm on a date, and if I go alone, she'll think I couldn't get a date.
You would look pretty pathetic.
Oh, geez.
Or you can stay home with us and watch sad movies.
Sophie's Choice.
I'll say it is.
(crowd murmuring) MARTIN: Is she here yet? FRASIER: No, not yet.
That's her box over there-- the empty one.
Well, I'm not going to sit through a whole opera for some woman who's not even here.
Oh, for God sakes, Dad, give it a chance.
You might actually learn to like it if you'd listen to one.
Hey, your mother dragged me to a lot of these things when we were dating, and they were all stupid.
These stories make no sense whatsoever.
Oh, that is not true.
Oh, all right, what's this one about? Well, it's about Rigoletto-- the hunchback jester in the court of the duke.
He has a daughter, Gilda, who's secretly living with him, but everyone thinks that she's his mistress.
In this opening scene, Rigoletto mocks the duke's enemy, who puts a curse on him.
A cursed hunchback dating his daughter.
Well, nothing screwy so far.
He is not dating his daughter.
Gilda is being courted by the duke, who is disguised as a humble student.
You see, that's what I mean.
The whole thing's so unrealistic.
Everybody's in love and pretending to be somebody they're not, and they're all swooning and gasping (gasps) See, exactly.
Who acts that way? No, Dad, Dad, she's here, she's here, and she's not on a date.
That must be her mother.
(gasps): Wow.
You're right.
She is a looker, all right.
All right, don't gawk, don't gawk.
She'll notice.
Well, I thought that was the point.
No, no, Dad.
You got to get her attention.
No, Dad, Dad, please! Don't wave, don't! Just-just keep your eye on the stage.
All right, but I bet you that gets results.
Oh.
Oh.
You're right, Dad, it did.
(gasping) Oh, God, I wasn't waving ather.
I was waving at the daughter.
FRASIER: Mm-hmm.
(chuckling) Well, that's not what the mother seems to think.
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