Oh, my gosh, Frasier did tell you I was coming, didn't he? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course he did.
Yeah, well, nice meeting you.
It's very nice to meet you.
Well, it's so beautiful here.
Well, I'm glad you like it.
Are you kidding? I feel like I'm in heaven.
I'm starting to feel that way myself.
Well, nice going, Niles! What happened? Niles dropped a huge log right onto my hand when he was startled by a moth.
(laughs softly) It was not a moth.
It was a bat.
I could tell from that eerie, high-pitched scream.
That was you! You know, frankly, I wish you'd start seeing someone about this bug phobia of yours.
It is not a phobia.
I have a healthy fear of our natural predators.
It's us versus them, and frankly, I'm starting to wonder just whose side you're on.
It just amazes me that a good psychiatrist can be so blind to something so obvious.
Oh, honey, your poor thumb.
We should go put something on that.
Well, okay.
God, she looks just like your mother.
I know, and Frasier doesn't see it.
You're kidding.
No, and he has the gall to tell me I'm blind.
He's clearly the one dealing with repressed material, not to mention theobvious oedipal issues.
Argle gargle, google goo.
What? Now you know how it feels.
What are you talking about?! I'm talking about Freud's theory of the Oedipus complex.
He believed that every man subconsciously wants to sleep with his mother and kill his father.
It's modeled on the Greek tragedy ofOedipus, who actually did sleep with his mother and kill his father.
And when he realized what he'd done, he gouged out both his eyes.
Hmm.
Probably not too tough to pick that guy out of lineup.
Oh, why don't we just send out engraved invitations for all the bugs of the forest? But the question is, how do we bring it to Frasier's attention? We don't.
Dad, denial of this magnitude is not healthy.
It's for his own good.
No, Niles.
Okay, it's formyowngood.
Come on, after the way he wagged his finger at me, you can't expect I'm just gonna be quiet about this.
Look, the last thing I want on my birthday weekend is some big, long, drawn-out argument between you two, all right? Now, let's just chill this beer that we brought, all right? And just put all these weird thoughts out of our minds.
Fine.
Oh, sorry, Dad.
Uh, come on, hon, let's go see if our room still has that big, creaky, old pine bed that Mom and Dad used to sleep in.
Ah, yeah, there she is! Well, I guess a warm one wouldn't kill us.
(liquid pouring) MARTIN: Boy, being in this place really takes me back.
Hey, remember that summer I tried to teach you boys how to fish? You just didn't have the knack, so I went out, and I bought these two big trout and snuck them on the boat.
Oh, Marty, you're terrible.
Oh, yeah.
And then I put the trout on their hooks, and I dropped them over the side, while you two were still arguing about the last Dramamine.
I felt bad about fooling you, but, hell, what's the harm of a little fantasy if it makes you feel good? More wine? Oh, thanks, hon.
Frasier, you've hardly touched your chicken.
Is something wrong? Oh, no, no.
It's just that well, I'm having a little trouble holding the knife because someone dropped a log on my thumb.
Oh, it didn't hurt you that badly.
You are such a baby.
Youare a baby-- running and screaming because of a little moth.
I told you that was a bat.
It was not a bat! All right, boys, that's enough! Not at the table.
Your father's right.
Now, Frasier, if your hand's hurting you, I'll cut your meat for you.
Well, all right.
There.
You know, Niles, not to dwell on this, but, you know, I could give you the number of a man who specializes in bug phobias.
Oh, is that so? Frankly, while you're at it, I think you should talk to him about your compulsive chair-dusting.
I believe that is related.
Frasier.
Well, I'm sorry, Dad.
I think a good psychiatrist should be self-aware.
Open wide.
So, you're saying I lack self-awareness? Why don't we change the subject, all right? This is a great meal, Mia.
Thank you.
It certainly was.
Frasier, when it comes to girlfriends, you've certainly struck the mother lode.
Niles! FRASIER: You haven't even read her books yet, Dad.
It's a delightful series about an adventurous little panda.
Sounds worthy of Mother Goose.
Uh, so, uh what's coming up next for you, Mia? Well, I'll have to swear you to secrecy.
All right.
It looks like that panda might just find its way into the attic.
Oh, yes, mum's the word.
Oh, sorry, Niles.
Could you, uh, maybe come into the kitchen, and I'll, uh, I'll just, uh, help you get dried off.
All right? Yes, of course.
Oh, dear, it looks like these pants may have to be re-pressed.
What the hell's the matter with you? Oh, I am sorry, Dad.
You can't expect me to let him sit there in his booster seat and tell me I lack self-awareness.
He's going to pick up on what you're saying.
You want the whole thing to blow up? Dad, this level of denial is unhealthy.
We're not in denial! Everything's perfect! This is the best birthday I've ever had! Oh.
Oh, hi.
I'm sorry.
I know it's early, but, um, I'm exhausted.
Oh, Mia, well, you go.
You hit the sack.
Thanks for dinner.
Delicious.
We'll wash the dishes.
Thank you.
I'll be along in a minute.
Um, Frasier Yes? Before you turn in, there's a little something we need to deal with.
Oh, geez.
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