You are here on my recommendation.
You may consider it withdrawn.
- Hey, Dr.
Crane.
- Kenny, just the man I wanted to see.
Dr.
Nora.
Don't hit me.
I wanna talk about Dr.
Nora's show.
Get in line.
The switchboard's been going nuts.
- I don't doubt it.
- They love you.
Excuse me? Except for the ones that hate you.
Either way, they're listening.
So you consider that option picked up.
- Ten seconds.
- Thank you, Kenny.
Now get out of my booth.
Yes, ma'am.
Kenny.
You can't be serious about hiring that woman full-time.
Putting that woman behind a mike is like putting Typhoid Mary in a kissing booth.
I'm sorry, doc.
Ratings are ratings.
Hello, Dr.
Nora.
My name is Tom and I have this co-worker who's really driving me up the wall.
What can I do about it? Not a thing, Tom.
Not one damn thing.
Nothing I ever do is good enough for her.
I baked a cake for her birthday and she said it tasted like sawdust.
I know she's my mother, but sometimes I just wanna shut her out of my life.
Oh, Denise, burning bridges solves nothing.
I'd like to suggest that you seek family counselling to help you and your mother get to the root of these issues, provided your mother is willing to cooperate.
If not, perhaps individual counselling would help.
Will you stay on the line so Roz can give you some numbers? Okay.
Thank you, Dr.
Crane.
It's my pleasure.
Well, I see through the glass that Dr.
Nora either disagrees with me or has just eaten a bad clam.
I'm sure she'll tell us which when the Dr.
Nora Show begins, right after this traffic report from Chopper Dave.
Okay, Denise, I've got the numbers for you.
- Do you have a pencil? - Come on, Roz, hurry up.
I wanna get out of here before her trainer shows up with a bucket of live mice for her pre-show feeding.
I'm sorry to cut you off, Chopper Dave, but we have a therapy emergency.
- Denise, are you still on? - Yes.
- That's my caller.
- Denise.
I want you to ignore everything Dr.
Crane just told you.
I know more about mothers than he does.
And here is fact number one: They don't change.
Cut this woman out of your life.
- I don't believe this.
- You don't think that with counsel? When you have a tumour, what do you do? Do you sit it down and say, "Hey, tumour, let's get along, okay?" No, you take a knife and you cut it out.
Well, Denise, your mother is a tumour.
My heart bleeds for you, because I have been there.
I know how hard it is to look at your mother's face and say: "Bye-bye, you toxic harpy.
You're not hurting me again.
" But that is what you have to do.
I think maybe you're right.
I'm always right.
And you know what else? I bet your cake was yummy.
God bless, honey.
- Who's next? - We have Frasier from here.
How dare you ambush Denise that way? Well, what a surprise.
I dare to give one of Frasier's callers a second opinion, and what does Frasier say? Yes, sound effects, the therapist's best friend.
You realize what you're doing is unprofessional.
Denise called my show.
She didn't ask for your opinion.
And I didn't ask for yours.
Back to you, Chopper Dave.
She just cut me off.
All right, let's just settle this.
We don't like each other, but we're gonna have to coexist here.
So why don't we agree that I won't criticize you and you won't criticize me.
Deal? - No.
- No? No, I will undermine you every chance I get, because you, Dr.
Crane, are a dangerous man.
- I'm dangerous? - Yes.
Seattle's great enabler.
You tell tramps and fornicators that their problem is low self-esteem.
They should have low self-esteem.
They're going to hell.
I take it back.
You're not unprofessional, you're a freaking loon.
Five seconds.
All right, if it's war you two want, it's war you'll get.
Right, Roz? You don't actually buy all this no-sex stuff of hers, do you? - Yeah.
- Well, it's war! - Oh, hi, Niles.
- Hey, Dad.
As you've probably noticed, I shaved my moustache.
I decided a better way to change my look was to pump some iron.
- So, what, you joined a gym? - I certainly did.
I start the minute my weight belt gets back from the monogrammer's.
Frasier, you free for dinner? Well, I suppose so, yes.
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