Hey, boys, how was dinner? Let's say when I picked my lobster out of the tank, I had no idea he was in for a better evening than I was.
- What happened? - Well, it started out well enough.
First, they seated us at a superb table, certainly better than the one next to us, at which, unfortunately, they sat - Daphne and Donny.
- Oh, jeez.
Being very affectionate, of course, whispering, laughing, holding hands.
This in a place where people were trying to eat.
Well, in an attempt to make things better, I suggested that Niles and I switch seats so that he could face the other table.
Unfortunately, moments later, they seated Maris there with her new boyfriend.
Also being affectionate.
Grooming each other like spider monkeys.
She was deliberately taunting me, playing the same coquettish games we used to play in restaurants: Batting her eyes, then coyly hiding behind her breadstick.
And then to top it all off, the Pouilly Fuissé we ordered was a grave disappointment.
I urged he send it back, but he wouldn't create a scene in front of Daphne.
Not that she would've even noticed, the way Donny was feeding her forkfuls of risotto as if she'd lost her arms instead of her mind.
What is she doing with him? Well, some days, it doesn't pay to get out of bed.
The highlight of my day is getting out of bed so I can slam it back up into the wall.
How long are you gonna stay there? You can afford the Montana now, can't you? Yes, but thanks to Frasier, there's a tenant living there.
May I remind you that you begged me to find you a sublet.
Someone austere and dignified enough not to offend your starchy neighbours.
Frasier, I'm not trying to blame you.
It's just my whole world is crashing down around me.
- I wanna go home.
- Well, I'm sorry, Niles.
He's got two months left on his sublet.
Can't you give him a call and lean on him a bit? Dad, the man has a lease.
I can't very well call and ask him to move out.
- Hi, Daph.
- Evening, all.
- How's dinner? - It was wonderful.
You should've come over and joined us.
Well, you looked like you had enough to contend with, what with your table's fork shortage.
Donny takes such good care of me.
After you left, I made the tiniest comment about not liking the Pouilly Fuissé, and he sent it back.
That snooty wine steward argued with him, but Donny made a scene with the owner, and the next thing you knew, our entire meal was on the house.
I've never been prouder of him.
Frasier, I wanna go home.
I'll call Dr.
MacLowery.
- Why, Dr.
Crane, you're back.
- Yes, Mrs.
Latimer.
Fortunately, my sublet was able to move out early.
I trust your tour was a success? - A triumph.
- Good.
Take care.
Tour? I could hardly let these people know where I was living.
I told them I was on a lecture tour of Africa so they wouldn't try to contact me.
Niles, maybe he isn't here.
Maybe we should just let ourselves in.
Right.
All right.
I'm home.
I can already feel the last four months dropping away.
Yes.
Soon, Africa will be just a memory.
I just wanna close my eyes and savour the serenity.
What the hell is that? It's Dr.
MacLowery.
Doctor Dr.
MacLowery, what are you doing? That was a ball change leading to a riff drop.
You gotta lick it and stick it.
- When did you take up tap dancing? - Years ago.
I figured if I didn't dance, I'd go crazy.
I'm not sure he caught it in time.
Baseboard.
Baseboard.
Dr.
MacLowery, please, the neighbours.
You tell me about it.
Why, those bunch of sourpusses.
Why, all they do is complain.
Sunshine, rain.
Well, look who it is.
It's the Tenants' Board come to welcome me home.
Carol and Alfred Larkin, you remember my brother, Frasier.
Oh, and Mr.
Probst.
See here, Crane.
We abhor noise in this building.
I couldn't agree more.
And what do you call that? I believe that was lick it and stick it.
This has been going on for months.
We would have contacted you if we'd known how to.
I'm sorry, but Dr.
MacLowery's moving Dr.
Crane, I'm afraid the board is leaning towards rescinding your lease.
What? Why? Because you're a menace, Crane.
You always have been.
You have something of a reputation in this building.
What with all the raucous parties you've hosted.
I'm not a well man.
I have a serious heart problem and I demand quiet.
- We all do.
- Mr.
Probst, I assure you No, we're having a board meeting tomorrow evening in which we intend to discuss your situation.
And if I were you, I wouldn't plan on unpacking.
So nice seeing you again.
It was good of you to go to all this trouble for your brother.
Yes.
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