But you're about to start the show.
I thought I'd have Clint on, give his show a leg up.
You're plugging Clint.
I'm having trouble believing this buddy-buddy act.
Try as you mayto insinuate I am jealous ofthis man, I like Clint.
Why else would I be giving a party in his honourtonight? You're on in ten seconds.
Slip on those headphones and follow my lead.
This is Dr Frasier Crane.
Before we start our regular programme, I'd like to introduce you to Dr Clint Webber.
Clint, you'll probably spend a week figuring outwhat all these buttons do.
Actually, in college I ran the radio station.
Things may have gotten a bit more sophisticated since then.
For instance, we have here a cough button.
If I'm not mistaken, that's the echo button.
Of course it is.
All my listeners are familiar with my now trademark echoing cough.
Well, let's go to the lines, take our first call and show Dr Webber the ropes.
- Go ahead, you're on the air.
- Hi, Dr Crane.
It's Marie.
Hello, Marie.
I'm listening.
I've been having a hard time getting out ofbed every morning.
And when I finally do, I'm irritable for hours.
The desire to stay in bed is similar to the desire to regress to the womb.
Some unconscious fear is driving you to a place of safety.
You'll have to examine your life and discover what it is you're retreating from.
It's hard, but very necessary work.
It may be time to try some therapy.
- Wow.
- You are good, Dr Crane.
The thing that came to my head was that she might be hypoglycaemic.
I'd have suggested some protein in the morning.
Wait a minute.
Last Thursday I had eggs for breakfast, and I felt great all day.
- Well, maybe that's it then.
- What a relief.
You scared the life out of me, Dr Crane.
Yes, well, thank you, Marie.
All right, I think it's time to say goodbye to Dr Webber now.
We'll be back after these messages.
- That was fun.
- Yes, it was, wasn't it? - I hope I wasn't out of line.
- No, not at all.
I always enjoy learning something new.
I'll see you tonight.
Don't be late.
- I'm always punctual.
- Of course you are.
I hate him.
He's not here.
A case of that dog food, please.
- Will that be all? - Yeah, and I'm in a hurry.
Look here.
Nickerson's Lemon Biscuits.
These bring back memories.
- Do you carry the raspberry ones? - I'm not sure.
- Can you come back for those? - Robert? Well, look who's come back.
Why don't you just let me pay for this and get out of here? What do I owe you? I think we both know what you owe me.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have made fun ofyour store.
Are you going to let me off the hook? I'll sell it to you.
I never like to lose a customer.
While I'm here, I'll take a few cases.
We have new varieties ifyou'd care to look.
- Sure.
- Please, show the man.
I think these biscuits are mismarked.
- No, that's correct.
- $14.
95? For a package this small? I see we have another member of the Price Club.
There's no need for that.
Back home I can get these for 80p.
- I do have to fly them over.
- Did you buy them a seat on Concorde? Ifyou cannot afford them, put them back.
I can bloody well afford them.
- This is robbery.
- Robber? No one calls me robber.
- Robert? - Not now.
On your way out, a sign on the door says "please come again".
Disregard it.
I'd be happy to.
Mr Crane was right about you.
You're nothing but an arrogant, swindling little cheese-monger.
This is great.
I'll take a case of each.
You'll take a case of nothing.
- What happened? - We don't need his food.
Yes, we do.
He's got tarragon flavour now.
- What about Eddie? - He'll eat when he gets hungry.
For heaven sakes, he drinks out ofthe toilet.
So George S Kaufmann so dislikes what the actor is doing, he sends a telegram reading, "I'm watching your performance from the rear of the house.
Wish you were here.
" I believe that's the story you meant to tell.
Thanks for helping out.
Doc, great way to welcome the new guy.
I'm surprised you're even here.
I didn't think you cared much for Clint.
I'm over that.
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