It sure - Hello, Frasier.
- Niles.
- Maureen.
- Hi, Niles.
A, uh, nonfat cap, please.
- I'll pay for his too.
- Well, thank you.
My day started off with good news, and it's already getting better.
To what do I owe this largesse? Well, I'm having a pretty great day too.
See, a few months ago, I took my first tennis lesson And you've finally mastered the backhand.
No, I haven't played since.
But the guy who was teaching me Has won your girlish heart.
No, he was a loser.
But that day, he hit me this little dink shot, and I ran for it, and I stubbed my toe.
I got this big black toenail that lasted for, like, three months, and today it finally fell off.
I can wear sandals again.
- Thanks, Frasier.
- Goodbye, Maureen.
- And good luck.
- Thanks.
- Frasier, may I borrow your spoon? - Certainly.
I have an announcement.
You know, frankly, so do I.
Dad's girlfriend just told me some very big news.
Well, unless she's expecting our baby brother, my news takes precedence.
- She's not, is she? - No, no.
Guess who just won this year's Mariott Fassbinder Award for Distinguished Contribution to the Literature of Psychiatry.
Judging from the canary feathers protruding from your mouth, - I'd say you.
- Yes.
What article did you win for? A gripping case history of a narcissistic opera singer.
I called it, "Me Me Me Me Me.
" - It's very clever.
I like that.
- Yes.
Thrilled as I am, I must admit I'm a tad nervous about the awards banquet.
- Why? - Dad.
I want him there, of course, but I'm just dreading a rerun of Aunt Vi's wedding.
Yes, the hour he spent regaling the table with "Little Niles" stories.
Exactly.
Imagine an entire roomful of trained psychiatrists hearing the story of Sheldon, my imaginary protëgë.
Oh, yes, Sheldon.
That troubled little fellow who kept wetting your bed.
Well, you know, if you're thinking of excluding Dad from the event, your timing couldn't be worse.
It's his birthday this weekend.
Oh, right.
On top of that, Maureen just told me that she's decided to break it off with him.
- No.
- Yes.
Oh, dear.
What? Is it the age difference? No, no, she was quite emphatic on that point.
She just thinks they have nothing in common.
Oh, poor Dad.
I know how much he enjoyed going out with her.
Yes, just the other day he was saying that between her police badge and his handicap sticker, they could park anywhere.
Evening, Dr Crane.
Daphne, thank God you're home first.
Listen, I have to warn you.
- About what? - Dad and Maureen are on a date.
It's not going well.
She's telling him that she wants to break it off.
Oh, this vision you're getting, is it a tingly feeling and a picture in your head, or more like a husky voice murmuring in your ear? It's not a vision.
Maureen told me about this this afternoon.
Just worried about Dad.
We have to help him through this.
I wouldn't worry about your father.
People are more resilient than you think.
You know, when Joe dumped me a few weeks ago, I thought I'd lost the love of me life.
I figured I'd spend the rest of my years dwelling on what might have been.
The home we'd have made, the children running through it, growing old together.
Did I mention Joe's getting married? - Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, I'm all right.
[DAPHNE CRIES] Oh, Daphne.
Daphne.
That'll be fine.
I should've known that you'd hate Indian food.
No, it was great.
I just You know, it just takes a little getting used to.
Yeah, it does.
You should try it again sometime.
I think I just did.
So are you gonna come in for some coffee? No, you're not feeling too well.
I think I'll just call it a night.
I thought you said there was something you wanted to talk about.
It can wait.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi.
How was your date? Awful.
I never felt this bad in my life.
- Oh, Dad.
- Yeah.
I feel like my guts have been ripped out.
Dad, let me assure you this has nothing to do with your age.
The hell it doesn't.
This never would've happened 20 years ago.
Well, you know, Dad, I may be talking out of turn here, but Maureen told me about this.
- What? - Yes.
Yes, she came to me for advice.
That's how determined she was not to hurt you.
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