Hello? Yes, Buck, it's Dr Crane.
I'm calling to see if the cabin is ready for us.
Uh, You got the case of Montrachet? Good.
Good.
And the Thanksgiving feast will be delivered promptly at 3? Good.
The woodpile's been thoroughly inspected for spiders? Excellent.
Thank you.
Well, we're ready to rough it in the great Northwest.
If you don't mind my asking, you taking anything along - to keep your nephew amused? - Yes, his grandfather.
Oh, by the way, what time tomorrow are Frederick and Lilith flying in? Her broom touches down at 11.
All right, now, when you mist the plants, be sure that the water is not too cold.
I know I'm harping on and on about this, but I know you're not used to dealing with delicate flowers.
I've produced your show for three years, haven't I? I'll leave you a number at Niles' cabin in case anything goes wrong.
Oh, yes, and by the way, I frown on overnight guests.
Then you're not doing it right.
I'll leave you my number in San Francisco too.
You're not going to the cabin with them? Daphne's decided to spend a traditional Thanksgiving with her transvestite uncle, Jackie.
Come on, Roz, I'll show you around the kitchen.
So this uncle of yours, does he dress like a woman all the time? Oh, certainly not for work.
His congregation would never stand for it.
[NILES GROANS] - What's wrong? - Oh, just a little depressed.
This is my first Thanksgiving without Maris.
Oh, yeah.
I know, son, it's hard.
Remember the year I plopped that big wedge of pumpkin pie in front of her, and we all laughed? Then I put a big scoop of whipped cream on top of it, and we laughed some more.
Then her eyes welled up with tears, and we all knew it was time to stop.
Yes.
If it makes you feel any better, I won't be having my dream Thanksgiving either.
Why does Lilith have to tag along anyway? She didn't wanna spend the holiday alone.
Her husband is in New Zealand, exploring a volcano.
- Why couldn't she go with him? - Because if she accidentally fell in, the shock wave from the hottest thing in nature meeting the coldest would actually crack the Earth in two.
As if a smile from Maris couldn't freeze Mercury.
Guys, let it go.
Nobody's gonna win this one.
[PHONE RINGING] Hello? Yes, Lilith.
Yes, Lilith.
- Yes, Lilith.
- Gee, it's like they were still married.
If you change the paper towels, he likes the flap facing the front.
If you change the bathroom tissue, the flap faces the back.
Don't ask me why.
- Don't know how you live with him.
- Don't know how you work with him.
Well, I have learned a trick.
When he's really bugging me, I ask if he hasn't lost a little weight.
Before you know it, he's checking his butt out in the glass at the candy machine.
Really? I tell him he's gained weight.
He skips dinner, sulks in his room, and I have the whole evening to myself.
Oh, good.
Okay, you tell Frederick I said bravo.
Frederick just passed the qualifying exam for the Marbury Academy! Huzzah! What is that, some school? Some school? [LAUGHING] That's He doesn't [LAUGHING] Oh, Dad.
Oh, Dad, please.
No, the Marbury Academy is the most exclusive private school in all of Boston.
It's a breeding ground of power and privilege.
Lilith and I have to be interviewed by the headmaster.
He's got a busy schedule.
He has agreed to see us Thanksgiving.
This, of course, changes our plans.
Wait.
You mean I don't get to see my grandson? Of course you do.
We'll move our Thanksgiving celebration to Boston.
- I'll call the airline.
- I'd better cancel our rustic Thanksgiving.
Hello, Buck, it's Dr Crane.
Take the mints off the pillows.
Frederick, your father is here.
- Dad! MARTIN: Hey, Frederick! FRASIER: Good to see you.
MARTIN: Good boy.
- Hi, Lilith, how you doing? - Happy Thanksgiving, Lilith.
Martin.
Niles.
Nice neighbourhood.
I noticed a whole bunch of kids Freddie's age - playing in the street.
- Yes.
He's spent many happy hours at his window observing their play patterns.
Niles, I'm afraid, with this interview, I'm running a little behind schedule, so I'm enlisting you to help with the turkey.
Oh, well, I've never cooked a turkey before, but the recipe's here.
I guess I can fumble my way through.
How far along are you? I'm nearly done defrosting.
And the turkey? Might I suggest you stuff it? So the rabbit says to the bear, "No, no.
I said, 'Oedipal' not 'edible.
"' Good one, Dad.
- Hello, Lilith.
- You're late.
Oh, well, happy Thanksgiving to you too.
Well, there, Frederick.
Now, Mommy and Daddy have to run off to this meeting.
After that, I'm all yours.
Meanwhile, why don't you head on upstairs and show Granddad and Niles your new computer? FREDERICK: Okay.
MARTIN: Come on, sport.
My God, are you half as nervous as I am? - And then some.
- We have got to master our nerves.
It is vital that we appear to be well-adjusted, responsible parents.
Lilith, do you still keep the Valium with the contraceptives? Sorry, I needed the last one just to go in and pick up the application.
I'll assume you meant the Valium.
Perhaps before the interview you should sheathe that butter-knife-sharp wit of yours.
Perhaps we could find the appropriate kitchen tool to ratchet down that bun of yours a notch or two.
Frasier, stop.
We should be focusing on our son.
You're right, of course.
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