Frasier, one of Nigel's lines seems to be missing.
Yes, I had to cut the play by 20 minutes, Gil.
Yes, yes.
But that line so neatly defined Nigel's character.
Saying "gesundheit" after the butler sneezes? It shows he's a caring person.
- It's cut, Gil.
Learn to let go.
- Oh, very well.
As long as I still have that delicious speech about my boyhood in Surrey.
- Yes, that's still in.
- "Romping with my school chums - in fens and spinneys" - Yes, yes, that one! Yes, thank you.
All right, now, I fear we may be running just a bit long still.
So I've asked Daphne to time us this evening, and also, Noel hasn't rounded up all the sound effects yet, so I'm gonna have Daphne read those directions as well.
Now, that's a lot of responsibility on you, are you sure you're up to it? All right.
Start the watch.
Stage direction.
- "Sound of door opening.
" - Inspector, thank God you've come.
Stop the watch.
Roz, I have a line here that says, "When she opened her lips, I caught a hint of some exotic accent.
" You'll notice it does not say, "When she opened her lips, cheese fell out.
" Okay, and start the watch.
This is a grisly business, Miss Thorndyke.
"Sound of door closing.
" I can't believe any of my guests could be a multiple murderer.
That's easy for you to say, but my job is to suspect everyone.
Please introduce me to your guests.
This is the silk merchant, Mr Wang.
[BULLDOG LAUGHS] Stop the watch.
- What's your problem? - "Wang"? You gotta give me another name.
I'll crack up every time I hear that.
All right.
All right.
How about "Wing"? All right? That's a great old Chinese name.
All right, everybody, change Wang to Wing in your scripts.
Sound of people changing Wangs to Wings.
From your line.
Start.
This is the silk merchant, Mr Wing.
Did you see anything suspicious, Wing? Oh, me no lookee.
Me go beddy-bye, chop-chop.
Stop! Chinese Embassy on line one.
- You can't say that.
FRASIER: It's all right.
I'll just adjust his dialogue later.
All right.
Start.
I'm Nigel Fairservice, inspector.
I was strolling in the garden - when this dreadful tragedy occurred.
- Did anyone see you? Several people.
Hans, the German butler [IN GERMAN ACCENT] Ja, I saw him.
Stop.
You know, that's wonderful, Mel but he sounds to me just a bit more Austrian than German.
I've done that accent both on Broadway and the London stage.
Yes, well, perhaps they have different standards than I have.
All right, everyone.
From the beginning once again.
Now, this time, please, people, dig in, and try to find the reality.
From the dwarf's entrance.
And so the case was closed.
And with a grateful shudder, I swore I'd never return to Nightmare Inn.
Stop.
Time? - That's 32 minutes, 40 seconds.
- Damn! I'll trim some more before we try again.
- Again? We did this four times! - We'll do it till I'm completely satisfied.
Oh, which reminds me, Mel I'm still not entirely happy with the second McCallister sister.
Oh? Well, she doesn't sound spinsterish enough to me.
I see.
You also told me that my gamekeeper sounded too cultured, that my Irishman sounded more Protestant than Catholic, and that my dwarf was too tall! Let me try Hans again and tell me how my German is sounding.
[IN GERMAN ACCENT] I quit! - Well, oh, wait! You can't Sound of door slamming.
- So, what do we do now, boss? - Not to worry.
I have a plan.
ROZ: Oh, yeah, right.
We're supposed to do this thing tomorrow night.
Where are you gonna find an idiot willing to take six dialect parts unrehearsed? Niles.
The sound of ominous organ music indicating trouble ahead.
GIL: Oh, there's your brother.
How is he enjoying the prospect of playing six parts? Actually, he doesn't know about it yet.
If he did, he never would have agreed.
Frasier.
You were going to messenger the script to me - this morning.
- I'm so, so sorry, I was tinkering with it until the last minute.
But not to worry, your natural talent will carry you through.
All right, look, take a look at this.
Noel will give us a demonstration of the sound effects.
What have you got? Okay.
This is my door sound, my thunder screen, balloons for gunshots, and this plays various kinds of organ music.
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING] - Oh, yes.
- That's great.
I've also got a gravel box, bells, a rain stick and coffee thermos.
- What does that do? - Keeps my coffee warm.
- Everybody, this is Maxine.
- Oh, hello, Maxine.
Welcome.
Hi.
I need a quiet place to work on my part.
Oh, you got it, baby.
Why don't you go up here in the booth.
FRASIER: Bulldog? Work on her part? It's just one line.
Yeah, but she's got that condition, what do you call it? It begins with a "dis.
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