DAPHNE: Oh, well, isn't this lovely.
Look, here's Frederick.
And here I am.
- And what are we doing? - Getting married.
Really.
DAPHNE: Come on, Frederick, let's go hang this on the fridge.
FREDERICK: Okay.
Do you think it's healthy for a little boy to be so obsessed with a woman he can't possibly have? Niles, have you actually sunk so low as to be jealous of him? No, I'm not jealous.
I'm just a bit Well, maybe envious.
That's ridiculous.
What have you got to be envious of? DAPHNE: Hold on! FREDERICK: Wee! Wee! And this is the booth where it all happens.
- Very impressive.
- Well This is the talkback button here, if I want to talk to Roz, the cough button if I want to mute the mike.
This button here is very special.
It sends a death ray shooting from the phone of any caller who annoys me.
You wish.
Yes, I do.
Well, okay, Roz, what have we done to ourselves today? Well, we went out last night to celebrate our big win.
- Ah.
ROZ: Had a few margaritas.
Someone started a conga line.
I wasn't gonna get in it.
I think Gary, our shortstop, got on the end of the line.
That man has a butt that makes you wanna reach out with both hands and give Freddie a great big Seattle hug.
- Good save, Roz.
ROZ: Thank you.
- I don't believe you've met Bulldog.
- Hey, kid.
- Why are you called Bulldog? - People just always call me that.
But why? - I don't know.
- Well, all right, Bulldog.
- Roz and I have a show to prepare for.
- No, no.
Wait a minute.
This is important.
Why do people call me Bulldog? There has to be a reason.
[BULLDOG BARKS] This is gonna drive me nuts.
Who's subbing for me in Saturday's game? We gotta have a ninth body out there or we forfeit.
- Oh, right.
How about Mindy Guthrie? - Eight months pregnant.
July, August, September, October, November, December Anyway, you better find somebody.
And speaking of bad news, Frasier, I finally got a call from Scott Blankman Roz Frederick, talk with Bulldog for a minute.
- I have to discuss something with Roz.
FREDERICK: Okay.
Oh, yeah, no problem.
Oh, hey.
In a little while I'm gonna bring in my cart.
- You can hit the gong.
- Why? It's loud.
I make a lot of loud noises in my show.
- Why? - I don't know.
Boy, I'm starting to get a headache.
If you need a softball player, why don't you use my dad.
Oh, yeah, right.
Isn't he good? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he's great.
He is the best, you know.
I wish he could play, but I think your dad's busy Saturday.
- He's taking me to Microsoft.
- Yeah, right.
Man, I wish he could play, because if he were playing, we'd win for sure.
I'm sorry, Frasier.
That's all I can do.
Scott quit Microsoft right after we broke up.
Well, I don't look forward to telling Frederick.
He'll be so disappointed.
Well, you know, if he wants a tour of a seminary, I've got an in there now.
I don't know.
I give up.
Abraham Lincoln.
What school did you go to? Frederick FREDERICK: Dad, I don't wanna go to Microsoft anymore.
- You don't? - Oh, hey.
Yes, he does.
Wait a minute.
What kind of boy wouldn't wanna spend a day at Microsoft? Stay out of this.
Now, listen.
Frederick, you know, this is your vacation.
You are the boss.
Whatever you say goes.
Great.
I wanna see you play in the softball game.
- What? - You could take Roz's place.
Well, you know, as much as I'd love to play softball, I really don't think that Bulldog wants me to.
Yes, he does.
He said you were the best.
Right? That's what I said.
- Well, thank you, Bulldog.
- So you'll play? - Well, I don't see how I can refuse.
- Great.
I can't wait to tell Daphne.
Yes, well, speaking of Daphne, while you're waiting for Daphne, why don't you go on out, get yourself a candy bar out of the machine.
Mother says candy rots tooth enamel.
Yes, well, chew on the side of your mouth.
Rot your baby teeth.
What do you think you're doing, telling him I'm a good softball player? Trying to be nice.
You want me to tell him you're a big lame-o? - No, I don't.
- Hey, look, I know how tough it is when you're a kid and you find out your dad's not as great as you thought.
Look, I was about Frederick's age when Well, I came home.
My mom was out and I caught my dad with another woman.
- Oh, Bulldog, I'm sorry.
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