My 8-year-old son is visiting me this week, and he asked specifically if I could arrange a tour of the Microsoft complex.
I was wondering what your policy is on I'm sorry to hear that.
You know, I don't often trade on my celebrity status, but does the name Frasier Crane mean anything to you? I'm sorry to hear that.
Well, you know, it's entirely possible that one day a relative of yours may wish to tour my workplace It's a radio station.
Oh, forget it! - Even been close, that would be one thing.
- But I beat that tag by a mile.
A mile.
- Calm down, slugger.
It's all right.
- A mile! - I take it you lost the game.
No, we won the game, but Roz got kicked out for arguing with the ump.
She kicked dirt on his shoes, chest-butted him, almost took a bite out of his finger when he stuck it in her face.
You can't coach that kind of thing.
All right, there's a guy on second, one guy's out, I drive one to the gap.
The throw to the cut-off man is late, our guy's safe, I try to stretch it to a double.
I make a beautiful hook slide right under the tag.
How can I be out? I'm still trying to understand why you drove to the Gap during the game.
Look, I'm gonna go work on the line-up for Saturday's game.
- You know, I love being in charge.
- Oh, can I play second base? No.
Liz Budner's playing second.
Liz Budner? Why? What can she do that I can't? It's what she will do that you won't.
Oh, Roz.
Listen, didn't you used to date some executive at Microsoft? Scott Blankman.
Talk about your messy break-ups.
Even after I dumped the guy, he kept calling me.
At first, he'd make excuses: "Sorry, I hit the wrong button on my speed dial.
" Then he gave up the pretence and there'd be sobbing - on the other end of the line.
- Oh, God.
I finally said, "Scott, I never, ever want to talk to you again.
" - Why do you ask? - I'd like you give him a call.
- What? - Frederick's coming to visit this week.
The only thing he asked for was a tour of Microsoft.
I sort of already, well, promised that I could arrange it.
Frasier, you're asking me to call a man who camped outside my apartment building and held a big sign up that said: - "Roz Doyle is afraid to love.
" - Okay, I understand.
I just thought you'd be more sympathetic, that's all.
I can't.
I do recall a story you told me not long ago about a young girl living in Wisconsin, who wanted desperately for her mother to drive her to Chicago to see Bobby Sherman open a shopping mall.
But her mother was just too busy.
What did that girl do that night? She cried herself to sleep on her little Bobby Sherman pillow.
I hate you.
[DOORBELL CHIMES] FRASIER: Niles.
- Good morning.
Is Frederick up yet? He went out with his grandfather for an early morning walk.
I went through my old albums this morning and found photos of us when we were Frederick's age.
- Oh, Lord.
- Thought he might find them amusing.
Oh, here.
There we are, all dressed up, ready for our first Cub Scout hike.
And last.
Yes, well, we didn't exactly endear ourselves to the pack.
All the other kids had knapsacks, we showed up with those monogrammed train cases.
Niles, refresh my memory.
Why are we wearing plastic snouts and a tiny little wading pool around our waists? You've forgotten.
That Halloween we went as the Bay of Pigs.
FRASIER: Ah.
As I recall, nobody got it.
I finally had to take to telling that we were Swine Lake.
They didn't get that either.
- That was a long evening.
- Yeah.
So, what do you have in store for Frederick this visit? We're gonna go whale-watching, the planetarium, and Roz is helping me arrange a tour of Microsoft.
It's the one thing Freddie specifically requested.
Someone's running for Dad of the Year.
Yes, well, you know how it is.
I don't get to see him as often as I'd like.
Memories of this trip will have to last until the next one.
Can you blame me for wanting it to be perfect? - Hi, Dad.
FRASIER: Oh, hello, Freddie.
Dad, did Grandpa ever tell you the story how he captured four bank robbers with just a nightstick? No.
He did tell me how he captured two bank robbers with just a revolver, his partner and a SWAT team.
- They got there later.
FRASIER: Well - Hello, Uncle Niles.
NILES: Hello, Frederick.
My, aren't you getting big.
I'm the same exact size I was the last time you saw me.
Well, your mother's cooking will do that for a growing boy.
- Are we going to Microsoft today? - Well, Freddie, I thought we'd go by the radio station.
I could show you where I work.
- That'll be fun, won't it? - Yes.
- When are we going to Microsoft? - Well, Saturday.
FREDERICK: Excellent.
- Hey, good morning, Dr Crane.
- Good morning, Daphne.
- Hi, Daphne.
- Hello, Frederick.
Tell your dad what you saw in the park with Eddie.
Hi, Daphne.
- Frederick's my boyfriend.
- Oh, really.
I got a present for you.
Wait here.
That's so cute.
He's got a crush on you.
Yes, he spent the entire evening sitting on Daphne's lap, watching TV.
Really.
And this morning I heard this soft little knocking at my door, and it was Frederick, asking if he could climb into bed with me.
Really.
- It's for you.
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