Oh, dear, your chair's got another big rip in the bottom.
MARTIN: Where? Hand me my reupholstery kit, would you? Thanks.
Oh, Dr Crane, don't you look smart.
I don't feel smart.
I've let Roz set me up on another one of her blind dates.
- Who's the lucky woman? - Oh, a friend from her aerobics class.
Well, perhaps it won't be too bad.
She's 32, has a terrific body, apparently thinks I'm God's gift to broadcasting.
Well, at least you have one thing in common.
When will you stop blighting the environment with this atrocity? [DOORBELL RINGS] My God, can't you see that it wants to die? Let it go.
You know, I keep having this dream where you say the same words, only I'm in the hospital, and you're slipping the nurse a 20.
- Dad, that will never happen.
MARTIN: Thank you.
I have medical power of attorney.
It won't cost me a thing.
- Niles.
- Hello, Frasier.
We were in the neighbourhood for a pedicure and a seaweed wrap and we thought we'd stop by.
- Of course, the pedicure was for - Stop right there.
There's no way to finish that sentence that'll make me proud.
I have some wonderful news.
I just signed a lease for an apartment in one of the most exclusive buildings in Seattle.
- You don't mean? NILES: I do.
As of next week, I will be a resident of The Montana.
Niles, why would you even want to live in such a stodgy building? When I applied there they treated me like riffraff.
If you're gonna ask and answer your own questions, what do you need me for? The best part is I'll never have to give my address again.
From now on, I'll simply be Dr Niles Crane, The Montana.
DAPHNE: That's a lovely building.
I've only been there once, applying for a job.
Can't imagine anyone turning down a chance to hire you.
Well, I hope you're right.
I haven't heard yet.
Well, good night.
- Hey, Frasier, you don't think she? - Just relax, Dad.
It's just her way of angling for more vacation time.
But what if she isn't? They'd have to call me for a reference.
Either way, she's not going anywhere.
Gosh, that's uncanny, Dad.
- What is? - The way she's taken with you.
Look at that.
She's absolutely mesmerized.
- She is not.
- Oh, she is.
She's just playing hard to get.
Go to Grandpa.
Go to Grandpa.
Go to Grandpa.
Oh, hello, Grandpa.
Oh, yes.
Isn't she warm and cuddly? I see I'm going to have a tough time tearing the two of you apart.
FRASIER: I'm gonna go out on a limb.
The Montana doesn't accept pets, does it? On the contrary, they welcome them.
Just not cats or dogs.
Well, then you're in luck, because I don't know what the hell this thing is.
There's no way that dog is moving in here with us.
Please? At least if she's here, I'll be able to visit her.
I cannot turn her over to strangers.
She worships me.
FRASIER: Oh, please.
You must realize that that dog has no genuine affection for you.
You only pretend that she does because she's a canine substitute for Maris.
That is the most absurd psychobabble I have ever heard.
She's high-strung, cold to the touch and ignores you.
My God, stand her upright, take ten pounds off her, put her in a Chanel suit, what have you got? - I'm sorry, that's ridiculous.
- Is it really? All right, here.
Remember the little pillbox hat that Maris wore to the Duchamps wedding? NILES: Yes, well, I - Good morning.
- Hey, Frasier.
- So how did it go with Rita last night? - She didn't quite take to me.
Oh, you're just being hard on yourself like you always are.
FRASIER: You tell me.
Over appetizers, she suddenly realized she had a very early morning meeting, suggested that we skip the jazz club after dinner.
People have meetings.
When the waiter suggested a soufflë that would take an extra 30 minutes, she said, "Oh, dear God, no.
" She was probably on a diet.
After I dropped her off at home, I noticed that she'd left her suede jacket in my car.
I called to offer to swing it by, and she said, and I quote, "Just keep it.
" - What did you do to her? - Nothing.
God, Roz, I have had it.
You know, in the past six months I have done everything a man can possibly do to meet a woman.
Singles bars, blind dates, a lecture series at the museum.
I've even spent hours in the grocery store trying to look helpless in the produce department.
That's it.
I'm taking myself off the market.
Frasier Crane has thumped his last melon.
You know, Frasier Roz, Roz, please, I know what you're going to say.
I should climb back up on that horse.
I'm too great a catch to give up now.
- No, I think you should give up.
- What? Well, I don't really want to give up.
I was just saying that to get your sympathy.
Look, this happens sometimes.
When you're on a really bad streak, you start to get desperate.
Women can sense that.
They can smell it.
- Smell it? - Mm-hm.
And trust me, when a guy starts to get overeager, you know, like complimenting you too much or laughing too hard at all your jokes, you just wanna turn and run.
- I don't do that.
- Oh, honey, wake up and smell Well, yourself.
You just need to air it out a little bit.
And in my experience, the minute you stop looking, the perfect person falls right in your lap.
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