My life hasn't been a picnic since Hester died.
Now that I think about it, what have I got to be happy about? I mean, I know that has nothing to do with Eddie, but maybe Frasier picked up something from contact with me.
He wouldn't be the first one who Oh, I'm too depressed.
How loosely woven is the fabric of our happiness.
A tug or two, and it unravels to reveal how empty our everyday lives really are.
Then there are the empty nights accompanied by thoughts of loneliness and death.
You think about that too? - Thought it was just me.
- Everybody thinks about it.
Do you lie real still and hold your breath and pretend you're in the ground? No, that's just you.
When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui, and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.
You know, I once had a psychic tell me the strangest thing.
That one day I would go off me rocker, take up a kitchen knife, kill the entire household and then kill myself.
Silly old bag.
She was right about my moving to Seattle, though.
Well, I don't know how I wanna go, but all my years around the police morgue taught me a few things.
First off, you don't wanna swallow Drano or rat poison.
And if you're gonna kill yourself with an axe, get it right the first time.
Well, you know, we can talk about it, we can think about it but nobody really knows how or when.
One second we're as alive as anyone else, and then what? Darkness.
Nothingness.
Afterlife? I've always liked the notion of meeting the great figures of history.
Then I think, what if it's like high school, and all the really cool dead people don't wanna hang out with me? Mozart will tell me he's busy, but then later I'll see him out with Shakespeare and Lincoln.
I don't know about you, but this is depressing the hell out of me.
Remember, my number's coming up sooner than you guys.
ROZ: Wow, that's right.
NILES: That's a good point, yeah.
No, no.
None of us really knows when our time is up.
And it's never long enough.
My great-grandmother was and her last words to me from her deathbed were, "It's so short.
" Of course, it was the '70s.
She could've been talking about my skirt.
I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker T.
S.
Eliot.
Dead.
Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death? Plato.
Even deader.
You know, perhaps Dr Shaw was right.
Perhaps we are the cause of Eddie's depression.
Simple beast.
He has peered beneath the masks of happiness we all wear and seen what lurks below, infected by our sorrow.
His once carefree doggy world has been shattered, perhaps forever.
Well, look at him.
He's happy again.
Could that have been all it was? He was missing his favourite doll? FRASIER: Well, I guess Dr Shaw was wrong after all.
He wasn't taking his cue from us, was he? Well, we were certainly taking a cue from Eddie.
- I've never been so depressed.
ROZ: Tell me about it.
Yeah, I wish I was a dog.
All it takes is a little toy to make him happy again.
I'm afraid we're a bit more complex than that, Daphne.
We know for whom the bell tolls.
[BELL RINGS] Anybody else hear that? Oh, the biscuits.
Daphne, by "biscuits" do you mean cookies? - Yeah, that's right.
MARTIN: Oh, they smell good.
FRASIER: Yeah.
NILES: Fresh from the oven.
ROZ: All nice and warm.
DAPHNE: Yeah.
And I have a fresh pitcher of milk for dipping.
FRASIER: Oh, and I believe there's ice cream too.
ALL: Ooh! And so, Alice, even the happiest of us can find reasons to be unhappy if only we look for them.
So don't look for them.
Take a tip from our dog friends, and treat yourself to your favourite toy.
Whatever that might be.
ALICE: I'll do that right now.
Thank you, Dr Crane.
I really do feel better.
This is Dr Frasier Crane, reminding everyone that life is too short to dwell on every bump in the road.
Try to take pleasure in the simple things.
In short, eat a cookie.
Ow! Oh! Walnut.
I broke a tooth.
Oh, now I gotta go to the dentist.
Gonna tell me I haven't flossed, my lip's gonna get all fat.
My life sucks.
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