FRASIER: Roz.
None of these lights seem to be flashing.
Hey, what do you know.
I got the same thing over here.
- Well, who's our first caller? - No one.
- Well, how much time do we have? - None.
Hello, Seattle.
This is Dr Frasier Crane.
Well, I have some good news for you.
As today is the first sunny day we've had in a few weeks, it seems that all our lines are open.
So please call in.
No waiting.
Absolutely no waiting.
Oh, come on, somebody's marriage must be on the skids.
Somebody's career must be going badly other than mine.
Hey, how about all you agoraphobics? I know you're not outside.
Oh, there's a call.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
Hello, I'm listening.
ALICE [OVER PHONE]: Hi, Dr Crane.
My name is Alice, and I'm usually a happy person.
But today, well, I just started thinking about all kinds of sad things.
My job isn't that exciting, my kids don't call me as often as I'd like.
Pretty soon I was in a full-blown funk.
Well, Alice, as today seems to be a bit slow, you know, I think I have a story I can tell you that might be of some help.
Do you have some time? Well, it's 3:00, and I'm still in my bathrobe.
Perfect! Well, it all started three days ago.
You see, my father was very concerned about his little dog, Eddie, so he had taken him to the vet.
ROZ: So, what did the doctor say? MARTIN: He's stumped.
I told him he's not sleeping, he's not eating, he's not even sniffing stuff.
Welcome news to Mrs Frobisher in 13B.
He said he can't find anything wrong with him physically.
Thinks it might be an emotional problem.
You know, I've heard they have therapists for dogs.
Do you suppose a dog psychiatrist could be the answer? Only if the question is, "What is the most asinine thing we could possibly do?" Maybe Eddie's just lonely.
You know, I was thinking maybe we could maybe get another Stop right there, Dad.
We are not getting another dog.
Oh, come on.
What could be more fun than having a little brother or sister - around the house to play with? - I fell for that trick once, Dad.
Well, I'm gonna get this little guy home.
All right, I'll see you at home.
I want to pick up some beans before I go.
See you there.
ROZ: Oh, wow.
There's a guy over there checking me out.
He's coming over here.
Get out.
No, it's too late.
Just pretend you're not with me.
- Hello, Dr Crane.
- Dr Kagen.
- I hope I'm not interrupting.
- Oh, no, not at all.
- I don't even know who she is.
- Frasier.
- Hi, I'm Roz Doyle.
- Dr Stephen Kagen.
Yes, Dr Kagen moved into my building about three months ago - from Chicago, I believe.
- Yes, that's right.
I love what I've seen of Seattle, but I'm still finding my way around.
Well, Roz is an excellent tour guide.
Really? Well, if you have an afternoon sometime, maybe you could show me all the hot spots.
Oh, I think that could be arranged.
I'd be happy to.
I'm free tomorrow afternoon.
- Here's my card.
- Great.
I'll give you a call.
- Nice meeting you, Roz.
- Nice to meet you.
KAGEN: Dr Crane.
- Dr Kagen.
- Thank you, Frasier.
- My pleasure.
A gorgeous doctor, and I didn't get you anything.
- So, what kind of doctor is he? - A gynaecologist.
That's not funny.
- What's the matter? - He really is? Oh, God.
I can't go out with a gynaecologist.
Do you know what they do all day? I have a general idea, yes.
All right, I'll see you at home.
- Hey, would you date a gynaecologist? - Oh, God, no.
- See? - Yeah, I wouldn't even date a dentist.
Hands in people's mouths all day.
And after watching Eddie's complete physical, I'm not anxious to date a vet anytime soon either.
[ROZ KNOCKING ON GLASS] FRASIER: I thought familiarity with a woman But that's really more of a sidetrack.
Getting back to our story, by the time I got home that day, alas, poor Eddie was no better.
Hey, look, Eddie, Mr Carrot.
He'll give you good eyesight.
And a lot of fun with this too.
- Dad.
- Yeah.
What are you doing? I went out, and I bought a bunch of new toys for Eddie.
I just thought it might cheer him up, you know.
Hey, Eddie, look at this.
Hamburger.
Juicy.
Meaty.
I'll bet you'd like a bite of this, wouldn't you? No? Well, more for me.
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