Thank you, dad.
You know, I was just considering whether I should go shave or slit my wrists.
You made my choice a little easier.
Don't worry, we are gonna make it.
Only about that shaving.
We had to shut the water off to replace a valve.
Oh, well, that explosion idea's sounding better and better.
Could someone at least move that mantle piece away from the door! Hello? Just hold on, will you? Hey Joe, you know you're going to be through by seven? It gives you plenty of time for a dinner and a movie.
Excuse me I said I don't want to go out with you! Whatcha looking at? Get back to work! -Thanks a lot! -Why would she do that? She's crazy about him! Niles, is your nose bleeding? No, no, I was just admiring Cecil's handiwork.
That was the mayor on the phone.
Apparently his wife can't make it tonight so he has invited Senator Adler! -Can anything else possibly go wrong? -Take a look at that.
Oh, dear God.
Is that blood on my floor? And another drop.
Niles! Well? Is it terribly wrong to mislead someone even if it is for his or her own good? What did you tell Daphne? I made up a story that Joe seduces all the women he works for so she wouldn't go out with him.
Oh Niles, how could you be so selfish? I didn't do it for me, I did it for her.
She deserves a doctor, or a lawyer someone for whom a T-shirt is an undergarment.
Look, I don't know what sort of twisted fantasy you've concocted about you and Daphne.
I suppose it involves a comet hitting the earth and you and she having to rebuild the species! But trust me, Niles, it is not going to happen.
She needs a man - one who can do more for her than just smell her hair.
-Daphne! -What are you going to do? -You are going to fix this.
-What am I going to tell her? -Tell her the truth.
Only the truth shall make you clot.
-Yes, Dr.
Crane? -Yes Daphne, er Niles has something he wishes to discuss with you.
What is it, Dr.
Crane? Oh look, you have a spot on your tie.
Well, earlier, what I said about Joe I made a mistake.
He doesn't sleep around, he hasn't wrecked any homes and the business about Mimsie Stanshope Oh sorry is there a john around here to air out my paddle? You can use the master bedroom.
-Joe never worked for Mimsie Stanshoe.
.
-He sure didn't.
I do all the work at Mimsie's.
She is one tough lady to satisfy.
It's you? I'm the only guy that can make her happy, everyone knows that.
Jeez.
So, that was the mistake you heard.
Those stories you heard weren't about Joe They were about Bruce? Hard to believe, isn't it? But you know, when society women go slumming they go all the way! So, you can tell Joe that you've changed your mind about going out with him.
-Oh no, I couldn't.
What would I say? -Just tell him the truth.
Tell him that I heard stories that he No, bad idea! Here.
You wait here.
-Joe.
-Yep? You have to ask Daphne out again.
-Are you nuts? You heard what she said.
-Yes but if you ask her again; she'll say yes.
Hey, maybe I've changed my mind.
Oh no, you haven't changed your mind.
You're just letting masculine vanity and hurt feelings keep you from something that other men can only dream of in their oxblood seated leather wingback chair with the lights off.
Look, Dr.
Crane, I just don't think it'll work out - okay? No, it's not okay.
If you had ever smelt her hair you'd know she's worth at least one more try.
She is an angel, and she is a goddess and she's waiting for you in the bathroom.
You got a minute? I'm never going to make it.
Daphne, would you please get that? Jeez, I thought you were just going to slit your wrists.
It looks like you went for "death of a thousand cuts.
" I cut myself because I was shaving without water.
And why was there no water? Because I had to move your chair which gouged the floor, which made me call for Joe who found bad pipes, who called for Cecil who ate the cat that killed the rat that lived in the house that Frasier built! That was the doorman.
Senator Adler's limousine just pulled up.
Oh, it's over, it's over.
Sing, fat lady, sing.
Frasier, what are we going to do? Will you give me your cash? Both of you, come on! -Hurry up! -Why? Never mind why, just hand it to me.
Come on, be quick, Niles.
Oh all right, do you want all seven hundred dollars? You carry seven hundred dollars in your wallet? Well, Maris asked me to stop by the drugstore later.
Just hand it over.
Okay, guys.
I've got seven hundred and some odd dollars here.
If you can get everything cleared up before Frasier's buddies get here it's yours to split any way you want on your way out.
Bribery? That's your big plan? Oh my God, it's starting to work! Hey, here's another hundred I was holding out on my old man! -Dr.
Crane.
-Yes? -Joe told me what you did.
I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
Thank you.
-Did you feel that? We made a spark.
-Oh yes, we did.
I guess you were right, it is just the carpet! Okay everybody, come on.
Move it, move it, move it.
We're out of here.
-Are you ready? -Good night.
Goodnight Daphne, have a good time.
Oh, my God, we did it, we actually did it.
Oh dad, please don't leave, I'd like you to stay.
I mean, you helped me to get this put together tonight.
Oh well, thanks Fras.
That makes me feel good.
Not good enough to hang around that bleeding-heart-softie-on-crime Senator Adler, but good.
Come on Eddie, the politicians are coming! They're here.
Senator Adler, Mayor - welcome to my humble abode.
You know you're out of T.
P.
in the can?
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