Are your eyes closed? What is it? It's something my antiques scout found for me.
Voila! Paris, 1882! Designed by Jean-Francois Blon, while attending L'Ecole des Beaux Arts! Mon Dieu! It's absolutely breathtaking! I'm breathless! I need to take a breath.
Evening, Dr.
Crane.
Would you like to try a game, Niles? Oh, I think not.
It'll make me too melancholy.
Well, all right.
Maris and I used to play chess every Thursday night.
Oh, how she loved the game.
No wonder ?the king is stationary while the queen has all the power.
How are you getting along, Dr.
Crane? Oh, all right, I guess.
Feeling a bit lonely, are we? Only some times when I'm by myself, or other times when I'm with other people.
It may not be my place to suggest this, but perhaps all you need is a little company at the apartment something warm and friendly to come home? Well, I'm sure Dad would miss you.
Oh, Dr.
Crane! Oh, me! I'm talking about a dog.
They're wonderful companions.
Just look at how much Eddie's brought to your father's life.
Oh, there's nothing like a dog's unconditional love.
Seeing that smiling face greet you at the door.
It's one of the most rewarding relationships a person can have.
Again? If you're going to drink out of the toilet, you can at least learn to use it.
Would you like to come with me? Maybe get the feel of the leash? Perhaps I will.
You know, Daphne, maybe you're on to something with this dogbusiness.
I'm starting to feel less lonely already.
Chop, chop! Come with us.
Oh, hi, Dad.
Did you see my new chess set? Oh yeah, it's nice.
"Nice?" Well, the inlay was made from the same Travertine marble they used at the Emperor Hadrian's palace outside Tivoli! Really? Well, I'm gonna celebrate with a beverage brewed from the crystal-clear waters of the majestic Colorado Rockies! Good one, Dad.
Say, how about a game? Nah, I don't think so.
Oh, come on, Dad.
You know how to play, don't you? Well, Daphne showed me once.
But really, checkers is more my speed.
Oh, come on, checkers is a kid's game.
Come on, Dad! I just got it! Please? Nobody will play with me! All right, I'll give it another shot.
Those guys at the park make it look great eating baloney sandwiches, smoking cigars, sometimes a fist-fight even breaks out! Well, let's just start with name-calling and see where it goes, all right? Your turn.
Now, Dad, please, you don't have to rush.
As a novice, you have the right to sit back, survey the board, take yourtime.
I will not pressure you or hover like a vulture.
Please, feel free to ask any questions you might have.
Is this a checkmate? Yes, it is.
You mean I won? Well, yes.
Hey, hey! I won! How do you like that? Well, in all fairness, my mind was a bit distracted by having to monitor your side of the board, but, uh Touche! How about another game, Dad? No, I think one'll do it for me, thanks.
Well, uh, all right, fair enough.
Boy, I really clobbered you though, didn't I? I got almost all of your prawns.
Pawns, Dad.
I think the turning point was when I got that tower-thingy.
Yes, it's called a rook.
But the real knockout blow was when I backed your little horsey-guy into the corner.
Can we call it a night, Dad? O.
K.
, when I cornered your knight.
No, I mean can we call it a night? Hey, Frasier.
Oh hi, Roz.
Uh, one double-tall latte, a slice of pecan pie with extra whipped cream.
Anything else? Perhaps a blood-pressure cuff? I'm just a little nervous today, O.
K.
? Oh, really? Trouble on the dating front? I'm not that shallow, all right? It's about my hair.
I've got an appointment this afternoon with Noge.
"Noge?" He's the hottest hairstylist in Seattle? "Noge?" I think he's getting a little bored with me.
When he cuts my hair, I can't ever think of anything to say! Well, how's this for an icebreaker: "Say, Noge, where'd you get such a stupid name?" You should see him with all of his other clients.
They're all laughing, having a wonderful time.
I walk in, sit down, it's death.
Maybe there's something in here that'll hold his attention.
Oh, wow, here's something.
A lady in Italy gave birth to a nineteen-pound baby! Oh my God.
No kidding.
She's not going to be hopping on her Vespa anytime soon.
That's how he did it.
What are you talking about? My father beat me at chess last night, and I've just realized now it was sheer dumb luck.
He stumbled into the Panoph-Vinick attack! Frasier, I? Oh Roz, I can't tell you what a relief this is.
My God, my whole world makes sense again.
Frasier, you are forgetting about my problem with Noge.
Yes, and it'd be a lot easier if you'd stop bringing it up.
Hello, Niles.
Hello, Frasier.
To what do I owe this pleasure? Well, I took to heart Daphne's suggestion the other day about a need for companionship since my separation from Maris, so I went out and got a new lady in my life.
I can't explain it.
I'm not a dog person, but there's something about this particular breed that I find comforting and familiar.
It's mystifying, isn't it? Mmm, baffling.
I-I happened into my local pet shop, and I had no intention of buying anything, I was merely browsing, and they showed me some overly demonstrative puppies.
Then I heard a haughty little sniff from a cage in the corner, and there she was! Sit, Girl, sit! OK.
She's, uh, she's a bit high strung, but, uh, she's terribly well-bred.
When I tried to pet her, she'd have none of it.
Well, I'm surprised she wasn't snapped up before you got there.
Yes, well, the man at the pet store said it's because people are reluctant to take responsibility for her nerve medicine.
No, not on the couch.
Off, off! OK.
Hey, Niles.
Hey, Dad.
What the hell is that? It's my dog, my new best friend.
Yes, Niles saw her in the pet store and had this inexplicable attraction.
You can see her ribs! Hit Number One.
Daphne, I owe it all to you.
Oh really, Dr.
Crane, I wouldn't want you going around telling people I was responsible for that.
Well, I guess we'll be toddling along.
Come Girl, come! OK.
The city streets play havoc with her delicate little feet, so I have to go home and pumice her paw-pads! Am I the only one? No.
Does Dr.
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