Come on in! Come on, it's all over! He won't mess with you! Are you nuts? That was a Doberman! Oh dear, what happened? Oh, get the first aid kit.
Eddie got into a fight.
We were on the elevator with that Doberman from upstairs.
Eddie took a perfectly innocent sniff, and wham! Morning, all.
-What's all this? -Eddie was viciously attacked.
Is that coffee cake I smell? Well, now that I look at it, it's just a scratch.
But I probably should take him to the vet's anyway.
What are you doing up so early? Oh, the new station manager's taking over today.
-She wanted to meet with all of us.
-"She?" -Oh, working for a woman, huh? -Yes, why? Well, it's tough on guys, taking orders from a woman.
-We resent it! -That's absurd.
If I had trouble taking orders from a woman Frederick would never have been conceived! My brothers couldn't stand taking orders from me.
I was forever telling them "Billy, clean your room.
" "Reginald, get your elbow out of the gravy.
" "Nigel, take that thing back to the hospital the whole house is full of flies!" -Morning, Niles.
-Hello, Frasier.
Dad, Daphne.
Uh, I can't stay, I just wanted to ask a favor.
Dad, can I borrow your gun? -Maris taking singing lessons again? -No.
Our home security system is down for repairs and with no electric gates I'll just feel safer if I'm packing heat.
Oh, for heaven's sake, Niles.
You don't even know how to pack a lunch.
Dad, please.
Maris is a wreck ever since she found out our entire neighborhood watch is wintering in Palm Beach.
Forget it, you don't know the first thing about guns.
I do so.
I promise I'll open the spinny thing and check for bullets before I shoot anybody.
Actually, Dr.
Crane, your father's gun isn't a revolver.
It's a Colt .
45 ACP with a single stack magazine.
When I first came to America, I worked at a convenience store.
Dad, please.
No! I don't believe in civilians having guns.
This isn't fair! Maris's mother gave her a gun! Well, then Maris's mother can clean the mess up after she accidentally blows your brains out.
Dad, now you're talking nonsense.
Maris's mother has never cleaned anything in her life.
This stinks.
This is total BS.
I can't work for a chick.
They're out of control.
They are completely ruled by their hormones.
It'll never work.
All right, all right, listen up everyone.
I've been working the office grapevine.
I've got the scoop on the new boss.
-Is she going to fire me? -Hey, first things first! Is she baggable? Forget it, Bulldog, she'd have you for breakfast.
Right, like I ever stick around that long.
Anyway, the word is that she's like this psycho perfectionist.
Everyone at her last station was scared to death of her.
She's kind of becoming my idol.
Hey, what if she hates sports? I need this job.
I just promised my mom a new pacemaker.
Wait, think I could get her to believe I said "pasta maker?" Now, look, there's no reason for us to give in to our insecurities.
We all do good, solid shows.
We hardly even know this woman and already we're painting her as a heartless Medusa! She said my ratings are down.
She said I'm not "hip.
" -Father Mike, are you all right? -The little thug fired me! -I'm so sorry.
-Did she say anything else? She said, "Send in Frasier.
" Listen, tell the movers I want the couch directly in front of the bookcase.
Oh, have a seat.
No, not there! In front of the bookcase! Look, I got somebody here! Could we move the furniture later? Could we do that? -Dr.
Frasier Crane! Kate Costas.
-Kate, what a pleasure.
Likewise.
I've been listening to the tapes of all your shows.
-I love what you're doing.
-Really? Well, thank you very much! I like to think of my show as a haven for the tempest-tossed in the maelstrom of everyday life.
Wow.
You really talk that way.
Anyway, your ratings are very good.
But I still think we can do better.
Any ideas? How to improve my show? That is a tall order.
Oh, wait, you know, I was thinking of playing classical music before my intros.
Let's say, perhaps Bartok's Concerto for Orchestra in D Minor.
It's too highbrow.
I mean, I love classical music but to most people it's a big snore.
Oh, incidentally, Bartok's Concerto is in C.
-Are you sure? -Positive.
I put myself through college working at a classical station.
Let's talk about advertising.
You've got a great face.
I want to see it on t-shirts, I want to see it on park benches I even want to see it on Frisbees.
Everybody in Seattle should be tossing it, wearing it, sitting on it! Wonderful.
You know, I hate to nitpick, but I'm certain that concerto's in D.
-I was a music minor at Harvard.
-It's in C.
It was commissioned by Serge Kosivinsky in 1943 for the Boston Symphony Orchestra and since then it's been recorded over thirty timesÂeach time, in C.
Well maybe you're right.
Maybe I'm right.
Also, I think you should start doing theme shows.
Devote a whole show to people having extramarital affairs or devote a whole show to people with aberrant sexual practices.
-Could you give me a hand with that box over there? -Of course.
Kate you know, that advertising thing.
It's a very good idea.
But that These theme shows, uh, it's a less good idea.
You might even say a worse idea.
-Why is that? -Well I am a doctor, and I'd hate to have the serious work I do -be tainted by commercialism.
-But you don't mind the Frisbees.
Well, I don't want to be entirely uncooperative.
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