We've time for one more, Roz.
We have Sid on three.
Hello, Sid.
I'm listening.
'Hello, Dr Crane.
I fear talking on the phone to people I do not know.
'I freeze up.
'It is a severe handicap in today's fast-paced world.
' Are you reading what you're saying? 'Yes, I am.
'The only way I can communicate is to write out everything in advance.
' What if someone asks you something you haven't anticipated? 'Thank you for your insightful comments.
Goodbye.
' Wait! Sid! Sid, your insecurity lies in your fear of making a mistake.
You have to practise.
If you work at it, you too may achieve the command and confidence to which we all aspire to be having.
This is Dr Frasier Crane wishing you good mental health.
- That was a show good.
- Thank you, Roz.
- Knock, knock.
- What are you doing here? Want to go to lunch next week at the Empire Club? - You know a member? - No.
But you may.
What are you up to? You had that same look when you found Flagstad's 1932 "Götterdämmerung".
If all goes well, my lapel will be sagging under the weight of a membership pin.
You'll fit in with those blue bloods who wouldn't even spit on the rest of us.
Don't jinx it.
I'm not in yet.
There's still a party where they screen prospective members.
- How did this come about? - I thank Maris.
She spent years cultivating relationships until fortune smiled on us.
Old Judge Clements suffered a stroke and a vacancy opened up.
Gives new meaning to "a stroke of luck".
It gets better.
There are actually two vacancies.
Edgar van Cortland was indicted in a scandal.
Frasier, I think my time has come.
- I'm very happy for you.
- That's generous of you.
Especially as you've dreamed of a membership.
A lesser man would be jealous.
- You're not? - No.
- They have a planetarium.
- So? I think my work here is done.
- So he's getting into the Empire Club? - It appears so.
He deserves to have lunch in that private dining room, read in that fabled mahogany library.
- It's eating you? - Like a bacteria.
If he gets in, I should too.
What if I know someone who could get you invited? - Don't toy with me.
- Mr Strickland, please.
It's Roz.
- Walter Strickland Junior? - Senior.
- How do you know him? - The less you know, the better.
I need more comfortable shoes.
My dogs are killing me.
- Pardon? - My "dogs".
My feet.
- What do you call them in England? - By their rightful names.
Except Uncle Harold.
He named his anatomy after the royal family.
He walked on the Queen's pins, sat on the Duchess of Kent.
A jolly fellow until Aunt Kate caught him introducing the Prince of Wales to a waitress.
- Are you almost finished? - Yes, I am.
You'll have the handsomest midriff.
- I hope my date concurs.
- Who are you taking? Dr Susan Anderson.
She's as boring as toast but a brilliant physician and socially well-connected.
Isn't Niles a little ticked off? Yes, but I convinced him if we work together we'll secure both vacancies.
It's like when you were kids.
If one has something, the other has to, too.
I had to buy two Balinese lutes, two découpage kits, two pairs of lederhosen.
When you moved out, that was one embarrassing garage sale.
- Hello, Niles.
- Ready? - No.
Susan's at the hospital.
- Where's Maris? In the Mercedes practising her vivacious giggle.
Let's go over our strategy.
I made a crib sheet on each member.
"School ties, business affiliations, hobbies, mistresses.
" I also researched our competition.
Don't worry.
One of them flies coach.
We're as good as in.
Unless I just had a terrifying thought.
What if another candidate researched the skeletons in our closet? Damn it! - That's as bad as it gets.
- I wouldn't be so sure.
They wouldn't look kindly on your arrest for mooning President Nixon.
I was young and firm and in love with an anarchist.
That's minor compared to your suicide attempt.
It was not a legitimate attempt.
I did it to get Lilith's attention.
Maris and I should head over.
The others will get a leg up on us.
- Good idea.
See you there.
- Bye, Dad.
Hello.
Oh, Susan, I've been expecting you.
Are you in the car? No! You're still at the hospital? Of course I understand.
You were a sweetheart to agree to go in the first place.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Fat chance.
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