- Time for one last call.
Who's next? - Elliott, on line three.
Hello, Elliott.
I'm listening.
'I'm a salesman ' A salesman?! How old are you? - '43.
' - 43? - 'Yeah.
' - Let's be truthful.
'I'm 43.
' Elliott, we weren't born yesterday.
You're an adolescent trying to be clever by getting on air, but you're taking time from people with real problems.
'Hey, I'm 43.
My problem is, I have a young-sounding voice 'that people make fun of all the time.
' Oh, I I'm so sorry, Elliott.
That was very insensitive of me.
'Gotcha, Dr Dufus! ' Indeed you did get us, Elliott.
But we're not so stuffy that we can't laugh at ourselves.
Roz, keep these pimply-faced maggots off the air! Well, that's our show for today.
This is Dr Crane signing off and wishing you good mental health.
- Have a good weekend.
- Wait.
I want an honest answer to a question.
No, that outfit does not make you look fat.
That's not it.
Why would you think so? Women usually begin that question with "I want an honest answer".
I'm not that insecure.
Sorry.
You're right.
Your question? Is the back of my head unattractive? - Have you lost your mind? - I'm serious.
You know I have season tickets for the Seahawks? Well, this cute guy sits behind me.
A few weeks ago, we said "hi", but he hasn't asked me out.
So I thought the back of my head might be weird.
There could be hundreds of reasons he hasn't asked.
That makes me feel better! Maybe he's married, maybe he's gay.
Or maybe he's there to watch football and not cruise chicks.
You're right.
I'm being ridiculous.
- Of course.
See you Monday.
- All right.
I saw that! Wait! You're not getting the rest of my scone so forget it.
Mmm.
It's really good.
Mmm, yum, yum, yum.
You can sit there till you're blue in the face.
As far as I'm concerned you don't exist.
Oh, all right! Here! Get fat! He got you again? You're a soft touch.
- I am not.
- He never begs with me.
- Maybe he doesn't like what you eat.
- He's not picky.
He eats beetles.
Eddie! Let's go for another walk.
- I thought you walked him today.
- I did.
Twice.
- He's got to go again? - No.
I do.
That didn't sound right.
There's a nice-looking man with a dog.
We want to run into them again.
Come on, Eddie.
He's playing hard to get.
I'm glad somebody is.
Will you fix the toilet? It's running.
The noise drives me crazy.
- I'll call a plumber.
- You've got hands.
Fix it yourself.
I am a doctor.
I've more important things to do than that.
- Hello, Niles.
- Good news.
We're having a salt glow with our massage.
Forget about the plumber.
I'll do it.
My manicurist cancelled on me.
- You will not.
- I bet you don't have any tools.
You're wrong.
Let me show you something.
See this? Every possible tool for every possible need.
I got it from Hammacher Schlemmer.
- Is that turquoise inlay? - Yes.
It also comes in ebony and onyx.
- Onyx is so showy.
- I love onyx.
It resonates within me.
This is why I never took any home movies.
Do you two realise what delicate doilies you are? You don't know the meaning of the word "self-reliant".
Thank God there's no disaster happening.
- Oh, oh! A lemon zester.
- Yes.
You know, Niles I'd actually like to fix that toilet just to prove Dad wrong.
For the genetically superior, the last challenge of a toilet should be how to use one.
We've conquered the intellectual world but with nuts and bolts, we need help.
- You're serious? - Yes.
We'll fix it.
Good experience, and it'll shut Dad up.
- We'll show him we're tough.
- Exactly.
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