Oh, absolutely, yeah Ronee got me a ringside table right next to her.
And that's because I want you and your pockets right near my tip jar.
Oh, you're after my money, huh? Say, Ronee, it's such a beautiful piano.
It's a shame we didn't get a chance to do our duet.
Well, let's do it now.
Really? Sure.
You don't mind scrunching, do you? My bench is a little small.
I don't mind scrunching at all.
RONEE: Hey, listen, is it just me or am I getting some signals here tonight? Oh, it is most definitely not just you.
Hi, drinkers.
I'm back.
And no, no, you're not seeing double, for once-- I have a guest with me tonight.
Believe it or not, I used to baby-sit this guy.
I know.
I know.
How does she stay so young? AUDIENcE MEMBERS: Dr.
Goldman! Aren't they adorable? Please welcome Dr.
Frasier crane.
You know this one? Oh, I love this song.
Oh, me, too.
You know, and I'd like to sing it to someone special who's here tonight, but, well, I'm afraid it might embarrass him.
Oh, I'm sure your special someone would just love to hear it.
Really? Okay, then, here goes.
(plays intro) I get no kick from champagne Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all So tell me, then Why should it be true That I get a kick Out of you (Frasier misplays chords) (resumes playing harmoniously) ?? I think you're cute?? Marty crane ?? .
.
(playing increasingly loudly) ?? I think that if your poor hip wasn't stiff You could dance just terrifically, too ?? .
.
?? And I get a kick out of you.
(plays final chords loudly) (woman over Tv) I'd like a "T.
"' I'd like to buy a vowel.
Frasier? Do you realiZe the door is wide open? Yeah.
PiZZa guy forgot to close it when he left.
What are you doing here? Don 't you remember? We had plans to watch Don Giovannion PBS.
I'm kind of into Wheel of Fortuneright now.
Wow, you look awfully dapper.
Yeah, I'm meeting a friend.
Dad, you don't have to be so coy.
I know where you're going.
I'm having dinner with Ronee .
So things are going well? Oh, yeah.
Great, great.
Turns out she had a crush on me back in the days she used to sit with you boys.
Well, I better scoot.
See you, boys.
NILES: Bye, Dad.
Ooh, are those profiteroles? Sorry.
Did you want one? No, but thanks for offering.
Frasier, what's going on with you? You're showing classic signs of depression.
That's because I'm depressed you nit.
But why? Ronee and you aren't compatible.
You have few interests in common.
.
She's as coarse as sandpaper.
.
I know.
I know there was no future for me and Ronee.
.
.
It's just.
I'm depressed, Niles.
I I I don't know why.
Wait a minute.
Yeah? Wait a minute.
I think I can make a really great sandwich out of all of my leftover chutneys.
Frasier, you have got to snap out of this.
You start seeing patients soon.
You realiZe you're only using food to fill a void Oh! I forgot to void that check to the dry cleaner.
I got my camel coat home.
It had a spot the siZe of a Krugerrand.
I know for a fact it was not there when Niles.
Sorry.
What are you doing with Dad's velveeta? t.
What do you think I'm doing with it?I'm going to eat i Okay, Frasier, this isn't funny anymore.
Oh, my God.
What is it? It's viagra.
They give that away with velveeta? No.
It's a prescription for Martin crane.
Why do you suppose he would put it in here? Hiding it, I assume.
What better place than a box that Pandora herself would be loath to open.
(door opening) It's Dad! Oh! Oh! Oh! (both sputtering) Put it away! Right, right.
(muffled yell) Dad, what are you doing back so soon? I forgot something.
My, um brella.
Well, you're certainly not going to find it in the kitchen.
No, I guess not.
Oh, I just remembered-- Ronee wanted me to get her an appetiZer.
What looks good? Oh, velvetta.
That goes with anything.
All right, well You boys have got your opera that you want to watch, so I'll just get out of your way.
See you later.
Now what? Okay, okay We've got time to think.
It's going to take him a while to discover that the pills All right, where is it? Frasier took them.
Dad This is pretty funny to you, huh? No, sir.
Then what is it? You're still so sore about Ronee, you're trying to mess things up for me? No, Dad, I found them by accident.
I tried to put them back.
I didn't mean to embarrass you.
Here.
Oh, forget it.
I'm just going to cancel with Ronee.
Dad No, the whole night's ruined anyway.
But the important thing is you boys had your little laugh.
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