One just took blue rib bon at the Kansas State Fair.
Oh, my God! Easy now.
You' re doing great, girI.
Don't call me that! I'm not a bloody poodle.
Yes, hello, hello.
We're at We're at My wife's gone into labor.
They say the hospital is 20 miles away.
Can you make it if I drive you? (yells) She says no.
All right, they're on their wa They're on their way.
Now you just calm down.
Focus on me and breathe.
(wheezing) Oh, for God's sakes! Oh! Oh! Is everything okay in here? .
We're fine Okay.
If you need any help, I'm a registered nurse.
Get the hell back in here! Easy, girl.
Stop that! Roz, do not open a window until they tow that cattle truck! .
Oh, my God.
It's a million degrees in here We got to get a breeze going.
(all gagging) Oh, my God! Dad, Ronee, we're almost ready to start.
What's that smell? Smell? Congratulations, you two.
Everything's just perfect.
.
Sorry I can't stay What's happening? There's been a bit of a mishap with a cattle truck, and the AC's out.
But no matter.
Right, people? It'll take more than that to mar our joy in seeing these two become Mr.
and Mrs.
Martin Crane.
(cannon booming) (cell phone ringing) Hello.
Well, finally, Niles.
Stop babbling.
.
Niles, you'll have to speak up I can't hear you with that bab screaming in the backgrou Oh, my God! Isn't he perfect, Dad? He certainly is, Mom.
He's got your eyes and my chin.
He's got my hair.
Do you think so? No, he's got my hair.
Let go, dear.
If you can part with him for just two seconds, I should finish cleaning him up.
Of course.
We can't thank you two enough.
Oh, please.
Really.
If there's ever anything that we can do for you.
You can do me one quick favor.
My Jason is kinda overdue for his lunch.
Of course.
Hello? Niles? Boy, some day, huh? Getting married and meeting my grandson all in the same afternoon.
Hey, you guys, you're just in time.
Come on in.
Don't stare.
You were no prize at that age either.
Oh, look who's her e.
Hello.
Here we go.
Oh, my God.
He's beautiful.
That twin's gonna be jealous his whole life.
Your ambulance should be here any minute, so I think I'm going to go.
All right.
Here.
Thank you again.
You sure you don't want me to check your monkey? Yeah, I'm sure.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hey there, you.
I'm the one who's gonna spoil you rotten.
You're so sweet to come down, but what about your wedding, all those people? Ah, they'll keep.
Yeah, as long as there's an open bar.
Ooh! Settle down there.
(siren wailing) I guess that's our ride.
I'm so sorry we're going to miss your wedding.
So are we.
I feel like it's me own dad getting married.
It's not going to be the same without you guys up there.
I don 't want to forget the rings.
Hey, wait a minute.
Why don't we just get married here? We've got the rings and the preacher.
What about all the guests? We can do it again for them later.
And at least this place only smells like a monkey.
.
Well, I'm game Get crackin', Fras.
You know, I'm gonna condense this just a bit.
I don't need that.
And I don't need that.
Ah.
"It was the great thinker Horace Walpole " Don't need that.
Well, all right then.
Uh Dearly beloved Someone call for an ambulance? Just a couple of seconds, please.
Niles, why don't you give them the rings? Cut to the chase here.
Do you, Martin Crane, take Ronee Lawrence to be your lawfully wedded wife, forsaking all others until death do you part? I do.
Do you, Ronee Lawrence, take Martin Crane I do.
.
Oh, I'm tearing up If they'd let me say what I planned to, you'd be bawling your eyes out right now.
By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.
NILES: Yay! (applause) We're ready now.
We're so happy for you both.
Congratulations.
And you will always remember your anniversary because it's the same day as your grandson's birthday.
Yeah, and Eddie's.
What? Never mind.
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