I know you're probably as busyas an ant farm, but do you think you could change a light bulb for me? The last time I tried, I fell off the ladder and I lay on my back like Like a helpless turtle? No, like a half hour, till the ambulance came.
Well, um, let me just get out of these wet shoes and I'll be right over.
Oh, great.
I'll make some tea and cookies.
We always have such lively conversations.
Yes, we're reviving a lost art.
Hey, Fras.
Some weather, huh? Yes, it's raining.
I've just gone over that with Mrs.
Magrini.
Hey, come look at these pictures from our engagement party.
Yeah, that camera you gave me is terrific.
What, is that the camera I gave you ten years ago? I can't believe you've never used it before.
Shows you what you know.
Turns out half the shots on this roll were taken the night you gave it to me.
Niles, come and look at these old pictures.
NILES: Yes, and then we all looked at the pictures.
I remember it as if it were four hours ago.
I am coming to my point.
Martin, look at you-- sitting in your chair, all sour and grumpy.
You must be drunk in this picture, Niles.
You got your arm around a floor lamp.
Oh, no, that's Mar is in her Easter hat.
Why are you all hunched over in this one? You were looking at my bum, weren't you? Oh, heavens, no It's all right, Niles.
We're married now.
All right, yes.
I might once, in a moment of weakness, have permitted myself a fleeting glance.
Or twice.
Many, many times.
It's all about the rear with you, isn't it? Darling, let's not Seriously, what color are my eyes? You're looking at it again, aren't you? No, I Boy, you look at these pictures .
and you really see how far we've all come Oh, I'll say.
You were such an old sourpuss, and you were the Crypt Keeper.
And you, well God, you haven'? changed a bit.
You're even wearing the same jacket that you wore in this picture.
It's hardly the same.
I've had it relined.
I don't mind telling you , Niles, what happened next was particularly galling.
I remember exactly what happened, and I haven't got a clue what you're talking about.
Our lives are so complete.
We really are lucky.
FRASIER: Oh, please.
That's not how it happened at all.
Our lives are so complete.
We really are lucky.
Well, come on, Niles.
We should be heading off to the baby show.
If we're lucky, we might get a lead on a nanny.
Oh, well, there are ads in the back of that Seattle Weekly.
RONEE: Just make sure you look in the right section.
If she says that she's got her own toys and is willing to spank, she may not be a nanny.
NILES: Don't tell me in your desperation over being the only Crane man not to find love, you picked up that paper and did the unthinkable.
Tawny LaRue, I presume.
FRASIER: I did no such thing, you nit.
And I am telling this story.
Very slowly.
I'm beginning to think you didn't do anything.
All right, I'm getting to it.
As you recall, I promised to change my neighbor's light bulb.
Oh! Here we are.
I was just admiring your bust.
Thank you.
Might look nice a little higher.
It might look nice a lot higher, but heck, I'm 83.
Anyway, I can' t thank you enough for coming to my rescue.
Yes, it's lucky you ran into m in the hall.
Oh, I knew that would be you coming out of the elevator.
If there's one thing I can count on, it's old Frasier's routine, unchanging as Granddad's whiskers.
There's old Frasier off to work.
There's old Frasier coming home.
There's old Frasier off to work.
There's old Frasier Yes, old Frasier gets the idea.
That's why I gave you my spare key.
I knew if there was ever an emergency, I could count on you.
Oh we should have our tea.
My date's picking me u p in 20 minutes.
How marvelous.
You're still dating.
Well, I think an active social life keeps you young.
So, what are you doing this evening? I thought I'd stay in with a good book.
Ah, isn't that nice? How you're so cozy in your routine.
You're like an old shoe, Frasier.
That's when I snapped.
You didn't.
You bludgeoned her horribly with that bust! No, you insane twit! You're like an old shoe, Frasier.
Now, come have some tea.
FRASIER: I suddenly flashed on my caller Babette.
Before I knew what I was doing, I impulsively pocketed something that belonged to her.
I stole, Niles.
Like some craven thief.
.
And I've never felt more alive (thunder crashing) You can't imagine the thrill I felt as I sat there sipping her inferior tea and eating her excellent cookies, all the while fingering the stolen object in my pocket.
And then, how coolly I walked out, scot-free, the old bird none the wiser.
What's in there? Some sort of decorative medallion.
Well, it's pretty clear what happened.
The depressing series of events today Ied you to conclude that you're in a rut.
Your spontaneous transgression generated the excitement that you so desperately wanted.
Any Caribbean-trained psych student could tell me that.
Well, if you didn't want my diagnosis, why did you call me here? I am plagued by guilt.
I have to return this box before it's discovered missing.
Why did you call me here? I need your help, Niles.
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