We still have a few minutes left, and all our lines are open.
Uh shall I attempt another joke? No! No.
All right, then.
Come on, callers, don't be shy .
There's still time to talk with the good doctor.
Five open lines.
Who's this, then, Roz? On line one, uh, whom do we have? I understand we have Susan, who recently moved here from Texas.
(mouthing) Go ahead, Susan.
I'm listening.
(Texas accent): Hi, Dr.
Crane.
I'm new in town, from Texas, and, uh, I just left my husband.
I see.
And why did you do that? Well, uh Oh, I know! He was abusive.
That couldn't have been easy for you.
Well, my girlfriend helped me.
We just got in her convertible and drove through the desert and we stopped at this honky-tonk, I started dancing with this cowboy-- long story short, he roughed me up, my friend killed him-- but then we met the cutest cowboy, but he stole all our money, so we robbed a gas station and blew up a tanker truck Yes, I'm afraid we're out of time.
I will finish with you off the air, Susan.
Meanwhile, this is Dr.
Frasier Crane, saying good day, Seattle, and good mental health.
Well, thank you, Thelma.
Or is it Louise? Don't snap at me because you didn't get any phone calls today.
I told you not to put me on the spot again.
I'm sorry, Roz, but I was desperate.
You know, I really think you were closer with that character yesterday-- the young teen who moved into the town that had banned dancing.
Now that, that had the tang of reality.
That was Footloose, you idiot.
Hey! I thought you were working tonight.
I got the night off and I am kidnapping you for the weekend.
Oh! Where we going? My boss gave me his house in the mountains.
It's very romantic.
And there's this little family of deer that comes right up to the window, so you might want to bring My camera! I will! Well, I was going to say gun, but suit yourself.
Oh, you are going to love it.
There's this amazing view of the lake.
You can see every star in the sky.
Wow! Is there a VCR there? 'Cause I just bought a couple of great old Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire movies.
Why didn't you just rent them? I did.
Last August.
Ah.
Okay, let's get moving.
I don't want to get stuck in traffic.
Sounds good.
I'll pack some food.
That was really nice of your boss to give you the cabin.
What made him do it? I put out.
That's my girl.
I hate people.
What's the matter with you? In a perfect ending to a perfect day, the driver next to me swerved to avoid hitting a squirrel, running me into a pothole and drenching me in coffee.
I hate squirrels, too.
Well, maybe it was for the best.
The coffee might've made you irritable.
My show today was a fiasco-- the second day in a row we had virtually no callers.
It's getting harder and harder to blame it on Roz.
Well, maybe you fixed everybody.
Oh, wait! There was one caller: my date for Saturday night called to cancel because I am not her type.
Oh, and guess what? Her honesty was not refreshing.
Dear God we're out of sherry.
Well insult made injury.
Well, here's something that'll cheer you up.
Ronee's boss gave her his cabin for the weekend, so we're heading up there tonight.
Oh.
Well being home alone for the weekend might be just the thing for someone in my state of mind.
Me and my shadow of a life.
Hey, hey, hey! We're not leaving you at home.
You're coming with us.
Wouldn't be any fun without you.
Oh, really, Dad? I was so hoping that you would say that.
The last thing I wanted to do was spend the weekend here wallowing in self-pity.
Leave it to you to see right through me and toss me a lifeline.
Oh, uh, now, are you sure, Fras? 'Cause, you know, uh, come to think of it, there are lots of squirrels up there.
(doorbell rings) Well, I don't mind them in their own milieu.
Oh, guys, I'm so looking forward to taking in some mountain air with the two of you.
And isn't this fortuitous? I've just had my Tyrolean hat refeathered! Can I talk to you? (door opens) FRASIER: Niles.
Oh, Frasier, I have had the worst day imaginable.
I need a sherry.
Brace yourself.
You always think it's going to happen to someone else.
I've opened some wine, Niles .
Help yourself.
Oh, thanks.
Two of my patients canceled, and Daphne and I spent the afternoon arguing over which diaper pail we would buy for the nursery.
Then, driving home, I successfully avoided hitting a squirrel, only to be nearly run off the road by some horn-happy maniac.
That was me, you simp.
You nearly killed me.
You nearly killed me! And what was that crude multipart gesture you unleashed on me? I had hot coffee all over my hand! You know what? I do not wish to delve into it.
I am trying to put my own miserable day behind me.
To that end, Ronee and Dad are going to the mountains for the weekend and I've decided to tag along.
Ah.
So it'll be just two wheels and you.
What are you saying? Well, just that if Ronee and Dad are going away for the weekend, it might've been more considerate not to horn in.
I'm not horning in, they invited me.
Ah, well, I would never dream of accepting such an obvious pity invite.
.
You don't have to dream, because they didn't invite you It happened so fast, then he got all excited and I didn't know what to say.
How about, "I was talking to the dog"? You know, the poor guy's going through a bad patch right now.
He could use a little company.
We don't have to spend any time with him.
Marty, you know I love Frasier, but this was supposed to be our weekend.
You and me, alone.
I know.
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