Hi, guys.
Oh, hey, Dad.
Your cappuccinoto go.
Holiday cookies, anyone? Oh Oh Yes, I believe I will.
Thank you.
No, not for me.
Watching your weight? Yeah, and it's killing me.
But the other night, Ronee made a comment about my "bowl full of jelly.
" Well, everyone puts on a few this time of year.
Everyone doesn't sit around reading the newspaper actually slurping from a bowl full of jelly.
Well, you look great to me, Martin.
Thanks.
Merry Christmas.
Oh Eddie and I must have walked about three miles.
I'm sweating like a pig.
What the hell are you doing? I am saving that seat for someone who may not wish to have it bedewed with pig sweat.
Frasier? Oh, Natalie! Hi.
Hello.
This is my father, Martin Crane.
Natalie Blanc of the Seattle Tourism Board.
She wants me to do a promo for them.
He was just leaving.
Oh, that little dog is adorable.
Yes, and he's smart as a chimp, too.
Off you go.
Oh Please It's so lovely to finally meet you.
Thank you, thank you.
Have a seat.
So tell me about this promo.
Well, it's pretty simple.
It begins with you at home on the couch.
And you say "Anybody feel like taking a walk? Then come to Seattle.
" And then we see you walking at the Space Needle, the beach, the fish market But we do all of that with special effects.
It should only take a couple of hours tomorrow.
So are you in? I'm in.
You know, it's funny.
When you called me at the last minute, there was a small, madly insecure part of me that wondered if I was your second choice.
No, you weren't the second.
Nice meeting you.
You, too.
Oh Oh, that dog is so precious.
Yes, there are times I could just squeeze him to death.
You know, maybe he should be in the spot with you.
Eddie in a commercial? Mm-hmm.
It's called a spot, Dad.
You look so perfect together.
He could just sit next to you on the couch.
Well I suppose there's no harm in a little window dressing.
Oh, knock it off.
You didn't even know that term 'til ten seconds ago.
Hey, Fras.
How'd the big shoot go? Well, it went splendidly, Dad.
I thought you were going with Niles to the airport to get Freddy.
Yeah, I decided to stay home and do some decorating.
Ah, yes, the magical time of year when the Great Wall of China and my apartment are the only two man-made structures visible from space.
I must say I'm really excited about seeing Freddy this trip.
Whatcha got planned? Oh, gosh, everything from whale watching to a trip to the garlic festival.
(doorbell ringing) Niles, Daphne Where's Frederick? Actually, he insisted on taking his own elevator.
(chuckling): Oh, priceless.
Just when you're worried that he's on the brink of terrible teendom, there he is, still just a little boy who wants to play in the elevator.
(laughing) Hey, Dad.
There he is.
(screams) Nice greeting, Dad.
Freddy, why are you dressed like this? w.
He's a Goth no You all don't have to treat me like I'm some kind of freak.
No, we're not, Freddy.
It's great to see you.
Maybe you could move up that trip to the garlic festival.
Listen, Frederick, I don 't understand.
Um, the Goths were plunderers.
Apart from your tendency to be overaggressive with your rooks at chess camp, I don't see the connection.
It's just what I'm into now, okay? Me, my friend Andi a bunch of us.
But if you don't get i t, you don't get it.
We get it.
It's wonderful.
FRASIER: I didn't mean anything by it.
I simply thought Oh, dear God! Well, thank you, Lilith for mentioning this little development.
Oh, it's just a phase.
All teenagers go through a rebellious period.
It always passes.
You should have seen me at that age.
Dating the older boys, hitchhiking, drinking, shoplifting Do you know I can carry a frozen turkey between my knees? That'll come in handy if we ever misplace our serving platter at Thanksgiving.
Hey, and didn't you tell m e you went streaking? Well, I had shin splints at the time so it was really more of a brisk nude walk.
What did you do, Niles? How did you rebel? Oh, the usual ways.
Thank you, Niles.
Like what? Oh, like what? Well uh Never happened, Niles.
Your mother and I kept waiting for it.
I find it hard to believe that I never Nope, nope.
You were one of those good kids.
One time I found a bag of something that looked suspicious in your dresser, but it turned out to be something just to make your sweaters smell nice.
Well, one time Face it, Niles.
You just didn't have it in you to be bad.
Well (gasps) Freddy, hi.
Listen, I was thinking maybe we could take in a movie tonight.
Can't, Dad.
I made plans with my friend Andi.
Your friend Andi from school is here? Yeah, visiting relatives.
We're seeing a movie.
(doorbell rings) But you just got here.
We've got all week, okay? Be cool.
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