Remember when you were little and you convinced Niles that we were all figments of his imagination and the whole world was just in is mind? I told him we disappeared whenever he left the room.
Yeah, for months afterwards he was always darting into rooms to make sure we were still there.
Scared the crap out of me.
I was ready to kill you.
- What made you think of that? - I don't know, I'm just thinking about Niles.
Well he must be all right, we're all still here.
I don't think I've ever been this frightened in my whole life.
Well, Daph, according to my timetable, Niles is probably off the bypass pump by now, all the blockages have been bypassed, and the myocardium is now receiving normal blood.
How can you know all this but you're stumped by an electric barbecue fork? Because the human heart was not designed by some idiot in Japan.
You know, Frasier, maybe now is not the time to go into detail.
- It's all right, Roz.
- You see, she knows.
Knowledge is our ally against anxiety.
Which happens to be the theme of today's "Best of Crane," - which is being broadcast over the airwaves right now.
- Oh yeah, they're piping it into the operating room instead of using anesthesia.
Very funny, Roz.
Oh, I hope the doctors have their earplugs in, so they don't fall asleep too.
- All right, we get it.
- Seriously, if I was ever gonna rob a bank - and wanted to knock out the guards - All right, Roz.
Hey, is that a Chunky in there? - Looks like one.
- Been a long time since I've seen one of those.
What are they asking for it? Looks like it's 85 cents.
Oh.
Does it only take the exact change? - Looks like there's a dollar slot.
- Oh, all I have is a ten.
- Will it take a ten? - Why don't you get off your ass and look? - They usually just take singles.
- Oh.
Anybody have a single? How can you think about eating now? What would you rather have me think about? - I'll get you some change.
- Oh, thanks, Roz.
Sittin' way too long, anyway.
- Excuse me Colleen? Do you have any ones? - I think so, let me check.
- Excuse me.
- Can I help you? Yes.
There's something wrong with my baby.
She has a little rash on her cheek.
I looked in the book, and I don't think it's chicken pox.
- But it does look a little like scarlet fever.
- Is this your first child? - Yes, why? - I think this is lipstick.
- Will fives do? - No, I'm afraid I need ones.
Oh, thank God.
Oh, look at that.
That's probably how it happened.
Thank you Colleen.
I won't forget you.
- Sorry, all I've got are fives.
- Oh, thanks anyway.
- Do I know you? - I don't think so.
- Are you sure? - Trust me.
I'm really good with faces.
- Mrs.
Crane? - Yes.
- Your husband's doing well.
- He's off the pump and his heart is beating on its own.
- How's his blood pressure? - 100 over 60.
- Could be better.
Did you thoroughly suction tole me about you.
He said if you started asking me questions, I should do this.
Oh, I get it! Very nice! - Well, that's good news, right? - Yes.
- They didn't have any change.
- Oh, shoot.
- What ya reading, Daph? - I have no idea.
I must have read the same paragraph ten times.
I don't know how you're getting through this.
Well, it's not like the old days when heart surgery was a big thing.
Nowadays they do it so much, it's like goin' in for a haircut.
- Read the paper and wait 'til he's done.
- But aren't you scared? I wonder if that guy has a dollar.
I bet he does.
Excuse me.
- Oh, no! - What, Daph? - I don't believe this.
Excuse me.
- What? I was supposed to bring Niles' cell phone, in case any of his patients call, so I can refer them to Doctor Wells.
Now I'm going to be calling his stupid cell phone every two minutes - to check his mailbox.
- Well, here, let's use my cell phone, all right? - We can take turns calling.
- He asked me to do this one simple thing and I forgot.
- I'm such an idiot.
- Now don't go blaming yourself.
You didn't do anything wrong.
Come on, I'll dial first.
Now look, Niles, as far as Dad knows, I had nothing to do with your leg breaking, right? - You pushed me.
- Yes, and in exchange for your silence, you get 10 of my records.
- Any ones you want.
- Even the Shostakovich? - Not that one! - Then forget it.
- Okay, fine.
Sign here and initial here.
You still in bed, Mr.
Lazybones? Well, if you're going to lie around all day, - I've got you something to read.
- The Charterhouse of Parma? Better: Archie! - Well, hello Chunky! - I beg your pardon? - I got some change.
- Congratulations.
Hey, is that a Marathon Bar? Geez, now I don't know what to get.
- Go with your first instinct, Dad.
- But I haven't had a Marathon Bar in years.
- Then get a Marathon Bar.
- Come to think of it, I think they quit making Marathon Bars back in the '80s.
Then you should get a Chunky.
Uh, although, I kinda want to get a Marathon Bar just to see what it looks like on the inside.
- All right, just get the Chunky! - All right.
- Hey! - What? - It's stuck! - Great! You had to have Chunky! - Oh, all right, I'll get it.
- What is going on?! - We have a stuck Chunky.
- Well, why did Chunky stick his arm in there? - Not me, the candy! I give up.
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