F R A S I E R (10x04) - Kissing Cousin - Well, it's official.
Once again, there is no room for me at the Yo-Yo Ma Orchestral Fantasy Camp.
Hello.
Frasier, this is my cousin Jen.
She's visiting this week, remember? Oh, yes, of course.
So how are you enjoying Seattle? Well, I've been living in London, so Seattle seems a little lame.
- No offense.
- Oh, none taken.
So you like London? Not really.
- It's like a parody of itself.
- How so? Oh, you know, double decker buses, bobbies, little pubs.
It's like EPCOT but even fakier.
So I bailed.
Went and spent some time in Florence.
- Ah, Firenze.
How is she? - I gotta say, Florence is over.
It was probably cool, before all the Americans found out about it.
- You mean three hundred years ago? - Exactly.
That's why I'm going to Vietnam.
Americans have never even heard of it.
Ah.
Well, you know, I'm afraid I have to bail on this conversation, I have a show to prepare for.
Roz, when are we doing those promos? This evening? Oh, I had to reschedule those 'cause Jen and I are goin' out tonight! A guy I met on the internet is in a band.
We're going to go check them out, have a few drinks, watch all the losers.
Wanna come? While no stranger to the discothèque, I'm afraid it will have to be you and Roz this evening.
This is our first time going out since I was a kid.
When she used to baby-sit me, she was always dragging me on some wild adventure.
Like that time we changed the sign from "SCHOOL ASSEMBLY" to "COOL ASS"? - Oh, my God.
- Charming.
No, you don't understand.
The town we grew up in, was totally boring.
It was like Kill Yourself, USA, right? - Roz was the only person who did anything fun.
- Is that so? Yeah.
My mom calls me "Roz Junior," which is what passes for wit where we come from.
And, our town has the world's FOURTH LARGEST THERMOMETER! Yes, well I can see why London really let you down.
- Hey, Doc.
- Hi, Kenny.
Remember last month when you spent your whole show talking to that pregnant teenager? - Yes.
- Well, it wasn't a total waste.
We just got nominated for an Excellence in Broadcasting Decency Award.
Really? Well, that is quite an honor.
I don't think we've ever won one of those.
It's a very prestigious award.
That's what makes it so special when they call your name.
You know, it's heavier than it looks.
You don't want to drop one of those on your foot, let me tell you.
- So you won one.
- Yeah, it's in a box in my office.
- You can come by sometime and I'll show you.
- Honestly, Kenny, when are you going to unpack those boxes? Isn't four years enough time to make that office your own? Negatory, Doc.
Every time I unpack in a new job, I get fired.
Tacoma, Moline, Moline again I learned my lesson; those boxes stay packed.
So that's why you haven't unpacked.
You know, all this time, I've been using you on my radio show as an example of procrastination.
I had no idea you were just living in fear.
I prefer to see it as a healthy superstition.
Kenny, there's no such thing as a healthy superstition.
Oh yeah? What do you call washing your hands after you go to the bathroom? Look at this place.
Dad, I don't believe you've thrown out a single paper since Daphne moved in with Niles.
Hey, it was your idea to split up the chores.
Recycling is your deal.
Recycling and floors, remember? I'm in charge of regular garbage and tabletops, both of which are nicely under control, I might add.
Really? I count three snack plates around your chair, all of them on tabletops.
Not anymore.
All right, what's it gonna take for you to start doing your share of the work around here? Trade me floors for garbage.
You'll really take care of all the floors if I handle the garbage? That's right.
Okay.
Okay, you got a deal, Mister.
- Hi, Daph.
- Hello.
Why's all your garbage stacked up in the hallway? That's right, why is that, Frasier? Your game is deep.
My, things are a bit untidy around here, aren't they? Maybe I'll just clean up these dishes before we get started.
- Daphne, you don't have to do that.
- That's true.
You're not our slave anymore.
I'm not gonna do all of it, just the tabletops.
Aw, that's sweet of you.
Burn.
No, no.
- Well, there's room at Roz's table.
- No! I find her cousin Jen just a bit judgmental for my taste.
Yesterday she told me my show was bourgeois.
I pointed out that anything that had mass appeal could be said to be bourgeois.
She then said that my argument was bourgeois.
Which I found to be jejeune.
People in their twenties are always like that.
The world is so daunting at that age.
They comfort themselves with the idea that everything's just trash.
We were like that in medical school.
Acting as if we were above it all, smarter than everybody.
It passes.
- Hello, Roz.
- Niles, Frasier! - Hi, Roz.
Come join us.
Jen, this is Niles.
Pleased to meet you.
"Niles", whoa.
Thanks Mom and Dad, right? Well, Jen, good to see you again.
So, how was our night out, girls? Well, it's still goin' on! - We went to this really great club called Zoo.
- Excuse me, The Zoo? - No, it was just called Zoo.
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