F R A S I E R (10x21) - The Devil and Dr.
Phil - Dad, why aren't you dressed? It's four in the afternoon.
Oh, I've been workin' nights.
My body clock's off.
I'm eating bacon and eggs at night and drinking beer in the morning.
That's what you always do.
-Yeah, but now I'm tired all the time.
There must be some way to end this fight with your boss.
-What's the problem? Oh, he wants me to date his sister and I won't do it, so he's put me on graveyard 'til I cave.
-Well, he can't do that.
Why don't you file a complaint? I'd just as soon keep it just between the two of us.
-I see.
Is this woman really so repulsive that you're willing to sacrifice all your nights just to avoid a date with her? -Well, let me put it this way: years of chewing tobacco have discolored her tooth.
Someone left a book of one-liners in the lost and found.
Hey, Fraizh, there's your friend again.
Dr.
Phil? -Dr.
Phil McGraw, in person.
.
I'll be talking about life strategies at the State Theater Friday through Sunday.
Come join us, it might just change your life.
Now there's a doctor.
I never knew you were friends with Dr.
Phil.
-Some years back we found ourselves running into each other at seminars and conferences.
He's an excellent therapist.
We had a bit of a clash over ethics.
Oh, really.
What did you do, sleep with a patient? Not MY ethics, his.
The man bilked me out of two hundred dollars in a card game.
He did not bilk you, it's called a one-eyed jack.
-Yes, yes, there is one eye.
but the other eye is there by implication! Therefore, the hand should have been a do-over.
And you can ask Niles about this too! As far as I'm concerned, the man owes me $200.
-This guy is so cheap, he could squeeze a nickel 'til the buffalo chokes.
Dad, exactly how old is this book of one-liners? How old? You're asking me how old? Well, I'll tell you how old.
Oh, Frasier.
Daphne told me all about Dr.
Phil.
I can't believe you know him.
Do you think you can get me in backstage? -Roz, I really hadn't planned on seeing him.
Oh, jealous, huh? That's okay, I understand.
I most certainly am not jealous.
The man happens to owe me $200.
Right.
But you know who could help you with your jealousy? Dr.
Phil.
He'd be like "So your jealousy of me has taken over your life.
How's that workin' for ya?" Yes, and I'd be like, "Fine.
My money, sir.
" Please? Please do it for me, please? Well, all right, all right.
-Oh, thank you.
All right, I'll see you at work.
-Yeah, okay.
Here ya go.
I couldn't remember if you wanted it black or not, so I brought it both ways.
Well, that's very thoughtful of you.
Thank you.
-No, you might as well keep it, you're payin' for both.
Hello.
-Oh, hi, Daph.
Niles, look who's here.
Oh, isn't that adorable? You see this couple, we've seen them in the park a few times.
They're so sweet together.
We like to think of them as us when we're older.
Look how old Niles still puts his jacket around old Daphne's shoulders.
Oh, she's still a saucy little kitten.
And I'll bet he still rolls over in the middle of the night.
-Yes, the picture is gotten, thanks.
Oh, I think I've found old Frasier.
Oh, yeah.
I see.
Well I hope the two of you will understand if, in future, I choose to knit scarves only for myself.
Oh, come on, we were only joking.
-Yes, I know, it's all in good fun.
Oh, Niles, I just remembered, I -Shut up! Excuse me? -Shut up! We're trying to knit! Dr.
Phil! Dr.
Phil, over here! -Roz, please! At least attempt to be cool.
Phil! Phil! Well Frasier Crane, is that you? Most assuredly.
-Oh, it's you all right.
So, how are you? -I'm fine, I'm fine.
How's Robin? -She's great.
Can you believe it? We're goin' on 27 years.
Congratulations.
-And how's Lilith? -Well, we've been divorced now for ten years.
Congratulations.
-Oh, thank you.
Hi, I'm Roz Doyle.
-Sorry -I'm Frasier's producer.
I just think you're wonderful, I think your show is great and you're truly a wise man.
Do you know Tom Hanks? Uh, no.
But thanks for the compliment.
They'll come on through.
So, Frasier, how's your show? -Oh, huge.
Thank you.
We just added Spokane last year.
-And a station in St.
Paul has agreed to let me send them a tape.
Can you believe after all that time we spent in the seminars that we both turned out to be broadcasters? Boy, those were some good times, weren't they? -Oh, indeed they were.
Although sometimes, the fun and games Well, it's the principle of the thing! I'll tell you what, why don't we just discuss it over dinner? Love to, can't.
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