F R A S I E R (10x15) - Trophy Girlfriend - Ooh, Niles, sorry I'm late.
Did you sign us up? Um, Frasier, I've been thinking.
How many years have we teamed up for the squash tournament, -only to be eliminated in the second round? -Nine.
Don't you think it's time we came up with a new strategy? Niles, if you're talking about taking that powder that's made from sheep's glands, -the answer is never again! -Actually, I was thinking of something more fundamental.
-It occurs to me that after nine years -Shh, shh, Niles, Niles, here comes that two-faced braggart Jim Blake.
Jim, looking good! -Thanks, Frasier, thanks.
-So, you signed up for the tournament? Uh, I don't know.
Have we, partner? Awesome, awesome, let's do it! I'll see you on the court, bro.
-It's not what it looks like.
-It's exactly what it looks like.
-You've teamed up with someone younger and in better shape.
-No, Frasier.
-You know I don't care about such superficial things.
-You know, that Jim is bad news.
He struts around here in those ridiculous-looking Swedish goggles -that everybody thinks are so cool.
-Jim.
You know, I just wish you'd told me sooner instead of waiting until the last minute.
Does Jim know you're passive-agressive? Believe me, neither Jim nor I expected this to happen, but our games just meshed.
We would have teamed up sooner, but the timing was never right.
Either Jim was with a squash partner, -or I was playing with you -Fine, go, just go, go, go to your new partner.
I don't care, who needs you? Niles don't forget to wear your wrist brace, you know how easily you sprain.
HiFrasier! Chelsea Gray.
-We met a few months ago.
-Oh, yes! -You were kicking the Gatorade machine.
Of course, I remember.
I had inserted my dollar bill with Washington's face up, as per the diagram, and was vended nothing.
-Did you ever write that letter? -Indeed I did.
The matter still pends.
-Aah! So, did you sign up for the tournament? -Uh, well, I was going to, but, uh, I just found out my, uh, customary partner has made other plans this year.
Well, would you be interested in playing mixed doubles? I'm a girls PE teacher, so it'd be nice to play with a guy for a change.
Well, thanks for the offer, but after what I've just been through, I'm not sure I'm ready to partner up again.
That's too bad.
I've seen you play.
We'd make a good team.
You already resorting to playing with the girls, Frasier? No offense, sweetie.
Excuse me.
Nice shot, partner! .
Here we are.
Hello, all! You'll never guess who just won their squash tournament! If only we had a big, shiny clue.
Well, hey, that's great news.
Congratulations! -Well, I owe it all to my partner.
-Oh, thank you, partner.
But I think it's really due to our partnership.
Aha, well, now you know what they say: there's no "I" in "team.
" Like there is in "Niles!" -So here, Dad.
Check it out! -Well, would you look at that! I didn't think I'd ever see the day one of my boys would win a trophy that didn't have a book on it.
Now all that's left on my list is shake hands with Hank Aaron, kiss Sally Field on the mouth, and then I can go on and be with your mother.
You know, Jim and I may have our own trophy soon.
We're still alive in the men's doubles bracket.
Oh, please, Niles, your partner couldn't be carrying you any more if he put you in a Snugli and strapped you to his stomach.
Well, I'm proud of both of you.
And squash might not be the toughest of sports, but it's still technically a sport.
What? Squash can be pretty tough.
Oh, no! No, no.
I once saw a man break his leg in a mid-court collision.
The bone was poking through his skin, and he still finished the point.
-That's the game you guys play? -Hell, yeah! -Frasier, do you mind if I use your phone? -No, of course not.
I'll tell you what.
Come use the one in the other room.
That'll give you some privacy.
After you, my lady.
You know, Dad, when Jim and I win our trophies, I'm going to give mine to you.
Thank you, son! But I don't want you moping around here if your brother wins one and you don't.
-Oh, please, Dad, I'm a little more mature than that.
-No, you're not.
It still bugs you that his name comes first alphabetically.
Well, that was your fault.
-Your girlfriend seems nice.
-She is nice, but she's certainly not my girlfriend.
I do find her attractive, but I'm not sure I'm anything more than a teammate to her.
-Well, from what I've seen, I'd say she likes you a lot.
-Really? She did kiss me once.
But I think that was just in an overflow of emotion after one of our victories.
You know, I suppose that happens all the time on sports teams.
It doesn't! Of course I can't speak for the Canadian leagues.
Well, truth be told, now that there's not the excitement of the tournament to fuel the fires, I don't think we really have much in common in the real world.
You have your ostentations trophies.
Well, it was good seeing you all, but I have to get going.
-Oh, so soon? -You just got here.
-I have an early faculty meeting.
I'll walk you out.
-Come back! -Bye! -Bye! -Bye! -See ya! -Congratulations.
-Well, I, uh, I certainly had a great time the last few weeks.
-Me too.
Call me again if you want to play sometime.
I don't suppose you'd want to take this to the next level? Oh, I gave up my dream of professional squash years ago.
That's not what I meant.
Um, maybe I could think of another way to put it.
-Hi, Daph! -Hey, I didn't expect to see you here.
-Niles said you were going out with Chelsea.
-Oh, yes, I just thought I'd stop by for a quick pick-me-up -before I pick her up.
-Does she laugh at that kind of stuff? -You know, she does.
-Hold on to this one.
-I intend to.
Uh, espresso, please.
You know, every day I learn something new about her.
She enjoys reading poetry in the bath.
She's an excellent cook.
It's like she's the perfect girl for me.
Well, I think you make a lovely couple.
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