Yeah.
Are you a lesbian?
Not strictly.
- You?
- Mm.
- Do you like old films?
- Some.
And what's your favourite period film?
Carrie.
[BOTH LAUGH]
God!
God, you are a tonic.
What do you do?
Are you a woman in business?
- I run a cafe.
- Oh! Good for you.
Did you make the canapes?
No, actually.
I stole them.
- How old are you?
- 58.
- And you?
- 33.
Oh.
- Don't worry.
It does get better.
- Do you promise?
I promise.
Listen, I was in an aeroplane
the other day and I realised
Well, I I mean, I've been longing
to say this out loud.
Women are born with pain built in.
It's our physical destiny.
Period pains, sore boobs,
childbirth, you know.
We carry it within ourselves
throughout our lives.
Men don't.
They have to seek it out.
They invent all these gods
and demons and things
just so they can feel
guilty about things,
which is something we also
do very well on our own.
And then they create wars,
so they can feel things
and touch each other,
and when there aren't any wars
they can play rugby.
And we have it all
going on in here, inside.
We have pain on a cycle for years
and years and years
and then, just when you feel
you are making peace with it all,
what happens?
The menopause comes.
The fucking menopause comes and it is
the most
most wonderful fucking
thing in the world!
And, yes, your entire
pelvic floor crumbles
and you get fucking hot
and no-one cares, but then
you're free.
No longer a slave,
no longer a machine, with parts.
You're just a person in business.
Oh.
I was told it was horrendous.
It is horrendous,
but then it's magnificent.
Something to look forward to.
You better get back to that party.
- Your party.
- Mm.
It is not a party
until someone flirts with you.
And that's the only really
shit thing about getting older,
is that people don't flirt
with you anymore.
Not really.
Not with danger.
I miss walking into a room
and not knowing,
and there's a sort of energy, a dare.
Do not take that for granted.
There is nothing more exciting
than a room full of people.
Yeah, except most people are
What?
shit.
Look at me.
Listen.
People are all we've got.
People are all we've got.
So grab the night by its nipples
and go and flirt with someone.
No, that's not what I meant!
Oh.
I wish you were my type.
Take this tart back to my party
and go and find someone to
actually do that with.
- I want to do it with you.
- No.
- Why not?
- Honestly?
Yeah.
I can't be arsed, darling.
I'm going to go back to my room
and have one more martini,
and if you need anything, call me.
Anything.
You can have whoever
you want at your age.
Except the Best Woman in Business.
Well, that's just because
she's exhausted.
33 isn't exactly
And what had Jesus done by 33?
- Died?
- Exactly!
So get out there and flirt.
- Here you are!
- Oh, hi!
Thought you might be snogging Finland.
Ha-ha! No, just sorting a few things!
I got her!
Oh!
And Belinda gave me her card.
Oh, that's great!
- What?
- Nothing.
She's furious.
Really?
Yes! It was a great night.
Everything went smoothly in the end,
and everyone loved the canapes.
Really? I'm a dead woman.
- Really?
- Yes!
Really?
Yes! It was a great night.
She's going to blow.
I just have a feeling
I would've come up with my own joke
if you hadn't put that one in my head.
I have my own jokes.
I am funny, I am interesting.
I knew I shouldn't have
brought you here.
- What do you mean, interesting?
- You just think you can do
whatever you like, say whatever
you like, steal whatever you like,
- kiss whoever you like.
- He kissed me!
Oh, I know.
You know?!
Then why have we been spending
- the entire?
- Because you're fine!
You'll always be fine.
You'll always be interesting,
with your quirky cafe
and your dead best friend.
You just make me feel like I've failed.
Claire
If you mention the size
of my office, I will scream.
[SHE WHISPERS]: It's huge.
I just thought we were hanging out.
Just as friends.
We're not friends.
We are sisters.
Get your own friends.
[HOLY MUSIC]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh.
Hi.
Oh, sorry.
I didn't have your number
and you just said come round
any time with G&Ts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
I just
This is a bit embarrassing,
but recently I've been really
enjoying going to bed at 9:30.
- Oh, shit.
- No, no, it's fine.
I can see G&Ts! Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, I just
Just fancied a drink and a priest
and a chat, maybe.
Oh, that's my whole job.
We'll have to be quiet, though,
because Pam's a bit of
a sound tyrant in the evenings.
- Pam lives here?
- Yeah, Pam lives here.
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