who've had miscarriages.
Five of them never managed to
produce a child afterwards,
but the sixth one did
and rather regretted it,
so I think you've probably done
the right thing.
Thank you.
Did you never want them?
Oh, I'm still thinking about it.
Is Dad here? I texted him, but
- Oh, I saw that.
- Oh, so he is here?
Sorry, no, I've got his phone today.
I love that colour.
Which one?
- That one.
- Oh, that's three colours.
Right.
I'm getting rid of it.
But it was quite an adventure painting.
I had an orgasm as I finished it.
Well, let's hope we all get as much
pleasure out of this one.
- [PHONE BUZZES]
- No, no.
Could you?
Um, I have a pretty full
afternoon, so
Oh, have you got to go back
to Finland again?
No, Finland are coming here.
Oh.
Well, that's easier for you.
Mmm.
Are you still okay to pick up
the invitations?
Oh, yes, of course.
And did you find that ribbon
thing for the flowers?
- Yes.
- Great.
And is Martin's nose on the mend?
Yes.
And how's the bassoon solo coming on?
- [PHONE VIBRATES]
- Oh, yes, he's practising.
- Oh, God, and now I just have to
- What?
Sorry, Claire, can you look up, please?
Thank you.
Organise canapes for an awards ceremony.
Oh, gosh, you must be exhausted.
Does the little cafe do canapes?
It totally could, yeah.
Well, there you are.
That's one off the list.
Great.
Gosh, haven't you got a lovely,
thick neck?
[PHONE VIBRATES]
- That was fun.
- Thank you.
I really can help with
the canapes if it's
- I'm going to say this quickly.
Okay?
- Okay.
Martin wants to press
charges against you for assault.
I've tried to talk him down, but to
be fair, you did hit him
- fucking hard.
- What?!
I will provide you with exceptional
legal advice as long as
you don't tell anyone I'm providing
you with exceptional legal advice.
- What?!
- This is happening.
I am mortified, but it is happening, okay?
I will hire this lawyer to scare him off
and I will hire you to do the canapes.
- Who's the lawyer?
- Oh, he's a friend.
He mainly defends rapists.
He has a high success rate then.
- Undefeated.
Come on.
- [SIGHS]
I've filled him in with the basics.
- That your husband's an animal?
- Be serious.
Just do whatever he says
and don't flirt with him.
I'm not going to f
Fucking hell, okay.
- Claire!
- David, thank you so much
- Oh! Sorry.
- Wow.
I can take you to court for that.
[THEY CHUCKLE]
This the little trouble maker, then?
- Hi.
- Hi.
Now, listen, I just want to be
clear that whatever happens,
I don't sleep with people
I work with, okay?
[HE LAUGHS]
I'm joking.
Slip on in, ladies.
Well, if you spit guilty, you'll
have to swallow a short jail term,
or community service if you're lucky.
Or?
- You definitely started it?
- Yes.
- Any witnesses?
- About 30.
The most important thing, honey,
is that you do not, under any
circumstances, apologise.
- I can do that
- No, that's not what we discussed.
Well, that can be taken
as an admission of guilt.
I assume you know the victim personally?
- Yes
- No, and let's not call him
- the victim yet, shall we?
- Well, that's what he is.
Yes.
Right.
They've definitely fucked.
We just want a letter to scare him off
if he ends up seeking proper action.
- Really doesn't make sense, Claire.
- Actually maybe not.
I think it makes perfect sense.
- I just want to be ahead of the game.
- God, I can't tell.
- That's a habit of yours, I've heard.
- Oh, I've got it.
- Is it?
- They haven't
You're going to have to tell me
who said that.
- Never.
- but they're going to.
- David.
- Oh, God, I've got to get out.
- Claire.
- Excuse me.
Where you off to, little lady?
I'm just going to let this Yeah.
You all right?
Yeah.
Just thought I'd leave you to it.
- Sorry.
- What?
He says he'll only talk you through
potential proceedings
- if you go for a drink with him.
- What?
- I know.
- Outrageous.
- Stop smiling.
- I thought he was after you?
So did I, but my hair isn't great at
the moment.
Either way, it's very inappropriate.
- Don't sleep with him.
- I won't.
- Don't.
- I won't.
I don't do that anymore.
What? Why? Are you ill?
- No.
- Then what?
Well, I just
Oh, my God.
Have you met someone?
Well, not really.
- Back with Harry?
- No, it's actually
- Someone new?
- Well
- Is he single?
- Sort of.
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