- Oh, dear.
- Oh, is that holy?
A bit less than it was before.
Shit.
Uh Oh, well.
He'll understand.
He's an understanding sort.
Okay.
There you go.
Sorry about all the tat.
It's for a fundraiser garden
party thing tomorrow.
So much stuff, absolutely no staff.
- You can volunteer if you want.
- Oh
- I'm only joking.
- Oh.
You've probably got a life.
- What's the time?
- Um
Do you want a proper drink?
I've got cans of G&T.
From M&S.
- Well, it's
- I will if you will.
Okay.
Okay.
Thanks.
So, you're a cool priest, are you?
- A cool priest?
- Yeah.
No.
I'm a big reader with no friends.
Are you a cool person?
- I'm a pretty normal person.
- A normal person?
- Yeah, a normal person.
- What makes you a normal person?
Well, I don't believe in God
I love it when He does that.
So, you were in my prayers last night.
Likewise.
I'm sorry for your loss.
What?
Your baby.
Oh! Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
Yes, I
Thank you.
Is the father all right?
Well, he doesn't really
exist.
I understand.
The funeral liturgy says
that life is changed, not ended.
I've always loved that,
if that's of any help.
Oh, well, thank you very much,
but I really am an atheist.
Yeah, I gathered
that by the smelling of the Bible.
[THEY CHUCKLE]
New sermon?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's I write, uh
restaurant reviews
for the parish magazine
and I was just finishing
up the last one.
I actually just came up with
a really good title.
Ah, what is it?
- No.
- What?
- No, it's not cool.
- Well, neither are we, so
"I'd spend 40 days and 40
nights in that dessert.
"
Oh, God, I fancy a priest.
There you go.
Hey.
Are you having an event?
No.
Why are there so many people here?
Well, it's just successful, I guess.
Why is everyone talking to each other?
Oh, it's Chatty Wednesday.
If you buy something,
you have to have a chat
- with someone you don't know.
- What?
Loneliness pays.
Listen, can we
Sure.
- I know you and I haven't
- Have you had a check-up?
Yes, it's fine.
It's really not a big deal.
- It happens all the time
- Hello!
- No.
- Where you from?
I'm not This isn't
I'm not part of this.
I shouldn't have to
I don't want to tell you that.
No.
Sorry.
No.
Tooting.
She hasn't bought anything yet, Joe.
Oh, shit.
I'm so sorry.
Does Martin know?
You're not supposed to tell anyone
for the first 12
- Well, you can tell the father.
- I just haven't told him.
- Okay, but what does he know?
- I don't want to talk about it, okay?
And I never want anyone
to know about it.
You have it.
You're better at dealing with
awful things anyway.
- I don't want it.
- Well, you took it,
now everyone thinks
you have it, so you have it.
[CLAIRE SIGHS]
What?
They're some pretty funky trainers.
I said I'm fine.
I just really, really don't want
anyone to make
a big deal out of this, okay?
Brutal.
Just brutal.
You must feel rotten.
Do you feel rotten?
I'd rather not talk about it if
that's okay.
Of course, darling.
Come on up.
Claire get the door, for God's sake.
Did you know who the father was?
Um, you know, I'd rather not
talk about it if that's okay.
No, of course, darling.
I've got a set up I'm very
excited about.
- It's going to be very striking.
- Cool.
So, Claire, if you just sit here.
That's lovely
And, darling, just beside her like that.
Lovely.
Actually, if you could just
That's it, that's it.
Just a bit.
Bit more.
There, perfect.
Gorgeous, yes.
Sorry, no, if you could just
That's it.
Thank you, darling.
- So, um
- She can't not talk about it.
- You know, I have six friends
- A lie.
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