- Just put it back where
you got it from, OK? - No.
Thank you for coming in today.
I've read your application.
- It was funny.
- Oh!
Your husband tried to kiss me on
your birthday.
So, how did you two meet?
He fucked me up the arse.
So, is your business surviving?
The lease is up in a couple of days,
and I don't think
I can really afford to
Oh! Sneaking a preview, are we?
It's a sexhibition.
Inspired by and moulded on
your father.
I will definitely be there.
I'm leaving Martin.
I'm going to
give you the money for the cafe,
- and I'm going to go to fucking Finland.
I'll see you at the sexhibition.
- Yeah.
[GRUNTING]
- Oh, yeah!
- Yeah!
- Oh!
- Oh, look at me.
I want to see
those tiny things again.
- Oh!
- Ugh!
Stay sexy.
Stay sexy.
Those tits.
- Oh! OK.
Yeah!
- They are so fucking tiny.
May I?
Oh, yeah.
Erm.
Oh, God.
There's always a stage
when someone's falling
in love with you that
they lose their erection.
They get confused, they panic,
the stakes get too high,
the blood rushes from their dick
to their heart.
- Oh, Jesus.
- And everything is fucked.
Oh!
What?
Oh, no, I don't think Hillary
is going to want to hear this.
Oh, go on.
- No.
- Oh, go on.
OK, an 11-year-old boy
was put in juvenile prison
for repeatedly sticking
rubber ended pencils
up his school hamster's arsehole.
- What?
- Yeah.
Why would they do that?
Apparently he liked it
when their eyes popped out.
No, why would they send him away?
He needs help.
She was a surprising person.
They shouldn't have just
locked him up.
He pencil-fucked a hamster.
Yeah, but he's obviously not happy,
happy people wouldn't do things like that.
- Fair point.
- And anyway,
that's the very reason why they put
rubbers on the end of pencils.
To fuck hamsters?
No, because people make mistakes.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
- Look, about last night.
- Uh-oh.
I don't usually connect with women.
I know, that's what I like about you.
Yeah, OK, erm.
I, erm
[HE EXHALES LOUDLY]
Wow.
This must be
what insecure feels like.
Actually, can we speak about this later?
I want to find the right words for you.
I'll see you at the sexhibition?
- Yeah, I'll see you there.
- I'm going to go to yoga.
OK.
- Marvellous.
- I'm so relieved you're here.
Hi.
And, hello, good looking.
Hello.
Thank you.
- Well clung to.
- Thank you.
Does it get very boring,
everyone telling you how gorgeous
you are all the time?
- A little.
- Should we, erm
Oh, yes, I won't forget this,
I promise.
Oh, sure.
Is Claire here yet?
No, not yet, you're an angel
for being here.
Would you just hold on to that?
There are bottles for topping up
on the little bar just inside.
I'm the luckiest thing to have you.
And, erm
there.
You're a natural.
[LAUGHTER]
No, really, though, this sexhibition isn't
about me trying to get you all aroused,
it's about the beauty of sex.
And how it brings us all together.
How it excites and connects,
how it opens people's minds,
after all, sex got us all here.
Sex brings life.
I've been building this sexhibition
since I was 11 and a quarter,
which is when I first climaxed
by accident on a bidet.
The bidet is, of course,
exhibited here, as are all of the pieces
from my first ever sexhibition.
All apart from one.
A few weeks ago one of my most delicate
pieces was stolen from my studio.
But in a sense it was a blessing.
In fact, her brutal snatching made me
think of the women of the world
they've been robbed of their freedom,
of their happiness, and,
in the saddest of cases,
of their bodies.
So in many ways I have to thank
the thief for creating my most
profound piece of work to date
A Woman Robbed.
[CLAPPING]
Now, I would ask you all to leave
your genitals at the door
and bring your minds to these pieces.
I don't believe people always think
about sex when they see a naked body,
I believe they think about
their own minds, their own bodies,
and their own power.
And that's what this show
is really about
it's about power.
Thank you.
[CLAPPING]
Beautiful.
Claire, it's me, just wondering
where you are,
because I am very much here
and waiting for you.
OK, bye.
Dammit, Claire.
Have you seen a sort
of stressed out version of me
anywhere?
Is it weird that my mouth's watering?
It's really fantastic work,
honestly, it's amazing.
Thank you so much.
Yes, it's extraordinary.
Really, really moving.
Present.
I'd love one
of these on my floor
like a rug with perks.
I'm sure you would, but it's very
securely nailed to the wall this evening.
- Have you found your father yet?
- Oh, yes, I think he's by the coats.
Oh, no, no, have you found
your father yet?
It's just so very obvious to me.
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