Just I've only ever
- seen them used for remote controls.
- Yes.
- Or alarm clocks.
- Yes, all right.
- And vibrators.
- Yes! All right!
You didn't have to ask
for a separate room!
What?
If you want to have a wank,
I can give you some space.
Oh, my God!
No, if you want to take ten minutes,
I'll go into the bathroom and
moisturise my wrists for a bit.
- You are so immature!
- Oh, give it a minute.
Oh, God.
Seriously!
- What is wrong with your insides?
- Why did you bring the tiny batteries?
A-ha!
You're a genius.
Always know where the reserves are.
Let go of your past.
- Bit on the nose.
- Now is the time to let it go.
Open up your senses,
close your mouth and live now.
Welcome to the female-only
Breath Of Silence retreat.
Women don't speak.
Erm, sorry.
I think I'm
meant to be at
- 'Fucking sluts!'
- that one.
Shame.
Yes, the first major consideration
is why are you here?
Can anyone here answer that question?
I want to shut the noise out
and reconnect to my inner thoughts
on the road to feeling
more at one with myself.
Excellent attitude.
Well, you're in the right place.
And this weekend is about being mindful.
It's about leaving
your voice in your head
and trapping your
thoughts in your skull.
Think of it as a thought
prison in your mind.
Firstly, we're going to
teach you how to breathe.
Then we will have a short meditation,
then we will find our sanctuary
in the partaking of menial tasks,
all in perfect silence.
Principal rules are no talking.
If you need to communicate
with any of our other superiors,
you can write on that board.
Under no other circumstances
must you communicate,
even with each other.
- What about an emergency?
- Thank you all for coming here today.
No matter what happens,
a word must not be heard.
[BUZZING]
Shh!
'Slut!'
'Slut!'
'Bitch!'
'Bitch, bitch!'
[MEN SHOUTING]
Fucking bitch!
You fucking piece of shit.
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
Back here! Back here,
back to me.
Back to me.
All right, now, wherever
it's come from your upbringing,
your experiences with women,
now is the time to turn that around.
To reprogram your mind,
your body and your mouth.
To be the better man.
All right?
So, this is Patricia.
Yeah? She's a friend.
Now, Patricia has just
earned a promotion at work,
beating over six other candidates.
She's the youngest person
to ever achieve this role.
What should we not say when we meet her?
- Clever little munchkin?
- Excellent.
- Who did you blow to get that job?
- OK.
- Slut, you fucking stupid slut.
- OK.
OK.
What should we say to her?
Hmm?
- Well done, Patricia.
- Very good.
"Well done, Patricia.
"
Please leave.
- Perv.
- Slut.
Wow!
OTHERS: Well done, Patricia.
Slut!
Guys, it's OK.
Keith, come.
Oh, my God.
Excuse me, miss,
you can't be here.
- OK.
- You really can't be here.
WHISPERS: It's a feel-no-good.
Please.
And now, hands up.
Mirror your palms.
Look each other in the eye, and
touch.
Literally her worst nightmare.
Eugh!
Are you all right?
- Talk to me.
- It's nothing.
God.
I can't feel my feet.
Do you remember we used
to go top-to-toe?
Now kids are so weird.
- We used to do that all the time.
- Yeah, when we were ten and cute.
- Now we're 30 and angry.
- I'm not suggesting that we
Just don't, OK?
[WHIRRING]
Stop stealing my things!
I'm just checking it's working.
Oh, it's working,
it's definitely working.
[KNOCKING]
[DOOR OPENS]
- 'Shh!'
- [WHIRRING]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Have fun.
It's actually a really
thoughtful present.
Thank you.
And Martin getting me that sculpture.
He must have bent over backwards
to get something like that.
I feel very lucky.
I have to tell you something.
What?
I stole that sculpture from
a certain somebody's studio
and then I tried to
sell it through Martin,
but Martin took it and gave it to you.
Just don't put it
pride of place when Dad
well, when they come over.
- OK? Because
- Right.
Claire!
- Claire!
- Shh.
Go to sleep.
[SHE SIGHS]
Shit.
[GONG SMASHES]
- The sooner we get on
- Ah.
WHISPERS: The sooner we get on with
it, the sooner we are out of here.
- That's a really nice outfit.
- Thanks.
Delve into your past.
Think of something you can't let go of.
A moment of noise.
A moment of tension.
- Not for now.
- Now
a moment when you were peaceful.
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