Robin's not
a super hero.
He's a sidekick.
But I'm plenty happy
being in the background.
It's odd when you start these things.
Everyone has got more hours than you.
I remember feeling like I joined a cult.
They were gonna ask me
to marry my sister.
It gets better thought.
I promise.
Mm.
Can't wait.
How long have you been in the rooms?
Three years.
- Wow!
- Yeah.
Wish I could say it was easy.
I mean, some days you feel like you
nicked it, other days, it just
Bang! It just kicks you in the
bollocks like an angry mule.
Or lady bollocks, in your case.
Anyway We should head inside.
Um Stick at it.
I don't know if you've got a sponsor
If you ever wanna talk
about your recovery
Or anything else, for that matter.
(CHUCKLES)
So, I found out a guy who
I went to school with is trans.
(GIGGLING)
Does that happen to any of you?
It's pretty confusing.
He's Obviously, now,
I know that "he" is a "she".
But what if I wanna talk about my past?
Is he a "he" before a certain time?
Or is there like a cut off point?
Sorry, bad joke, I suppose.
Now, to do something
like that, it takes balls.
That's a funny line.
Sorry, have I just walked into
a working men's club from the '80s
I appreciate someone having to
undergo intensive and invasive
gender re-assignment surgery, must've
been very difficult for you.
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Not quite the point I was making.
I mean, yeah, that's fine.
Over
20 grand for the treatment,
but you're confused about
which pronouns to use.
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Yeah, all right, sit
back down, love, 'cause
people have come here for some comedy.
MAN: Yeah, when's that gonna start, eh?
(CROWD LAUGHING)
You're lucky there's not a
dick under there anymore,
or I'd knock you in your arse!
Oh, come on, how was I supposed to know
there was a trans
comedian in the audience?
I mean, what're the chances
of that happening?
Well, she was on the line-up,
so, I'd say pretty fuckin' high.
Well, I don't even know
who Allie Gregs is!
And neither did I, but now
I do, it's all over Twitter.
Oh, come on, it wasn't even that
offensive.
I was being ironic.
How is it ironic?
Because
I'm not trans.
Live nation is threatening
to pull the whole tour.
Hundred and forty-seven thousand hits?
That is not a good thing.
I thought there was
no such thing as bad publicity.
If one person throws
that bullshit at me
Just have a conversation with Kevin
Spacey and he can fill you in.
I can't We talked about this.
You said, try a bit more edgy
material, be a bit more risque,
it'll play well with young people.
I meant, try and joke about ISIS,
not offend an entire
community of people.
You don't think she's
being a tiny bit sensitive?
You know, the most
damaging thing about this
tape is that she's being
funnier than you.
Hey.
I resent that.
That is new material.
I'm running that in.
That is
not going to be perfect
Enough!
Go bathe and put some pants on.
We've got work to do.
Trans
Okay, so we are going
for full mea culpa,
egg on face, big apologies,
- kissing trans babies, the works.
- Trans babies?
Isn't this the man who got
kicked out at the comedy awards
for dipping his balls on the
Head of BBC comedy's Prosecco?
Not sure humility is his strong point.
Melody, I need you to get
in touch with Allie Gregs.
She's not gonna wanna talk
to you but do whatever it takes.
We need to contain this.
- Earth to Melody.
- Yes, got it.
Ooh, Tom, kiss.
Anyone nice?
Oh, no, just a guy from NA.
It's not He was
offering to be my sponsor.
I bet he was.
- God, I love a damaged man.
Is he cute?
- I haven't really thought about it.
Yeah.
Well, whatever.
Well, enjoy sponsoring his brains out.
Maybe I should set up the two of you.
Hmm, last time I went
on a blind date, I ended up
climbing out of a window at Sexy Fish.
- Seriously.
He's hot.
- Oh, he's hot now, is he?
I thought you hadn't thought about it.
Shut up.
Do you wanna fuck him
with my vagina? Is that it?
- Don't be a dick.
- Look, if you need me to have sex
with him, you don't have to, you just
have to ask.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Selena Pope's been spotted with her
- BOTH: Yep.
Got it.
Christ.
When it rains, everyone's
an idiotic twat.
Right.
I'll deal with Proctorgate.
I need some transgender celebs who will
agree to be friends with Dan Proctor.
I can only think of Caitlin Jenner
and that lady that won Big Brother.
Definitely start with Big Brother.
Taxi.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
- Hello.
- Hi.
Are we still on for tonight?
Of course.
Good.
'Cause I'm gonna get F-ed up
Mummy, higher.
Mummy is
on the phone, bubba.
Are you absolutely sure
you don't wanna spend
your birthday with Mark?
I've spent every night
of my life with Mark.
For once, he can look
after his children,
while mummy gets her party on.
- Mummy!
- Okay.
Oh, my God, I cannot tell you
how excited I am for tonight.
I feel like it has been ages
since I got a proper night out.
You better get ready because Mummy
is going to bring the thunder.
Okay, but you will stop
referring to yourself as Mummy
this evening, right? 'Cause
it's kinda weirding me out.
That is noted.
I'll see you later.
- Love you.
- Higher.
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